Just like Greta Garbo

I am not a party girl.

Or let me be more specific, I am not a RANDOM, let's do this all the time, I love people Party Girl. There is nothing that makes me want to stay home more than the thought of trying to walk into a room full of people and try to impress them.

I'm shy.

And let me qualify this for the people that have seen me work a room. When I am essentially, "The Hostess" - I have no reason to be shy. Hypothetically, I have the best opener in the room, "This is my party, who are you?" I know where things are, like the coat closet, bathroom and fridge. I can tell you where the nearest ATM is, who is single and that the dark haired guy in the corner would love for you to talk with him about Harry Potter- cause he is a big fan. Basically, when I'm hosting, I'm in charge. And I like being in charge. This goes for a ton of things; when I'm producing - I'm in charge. When I'm at the house of a very dear or close friend, I'm in charge. When I'm at my own house, I'm in charge etc. ad infinit.

So, why are there parties I don't like? Because parties with a ton of people that I don't know, don't give me a lot of opportunities to feel a) safe or b) comfortable. Take the Jerry cast party for example. I spent a lot of time finding smaller groups of people to hang out with. Or one other person for that matter. The people that get that I don't talk all the time. That parties make me a little tired because my focus is pulled in 80 different directions. I'm pointedly awkward when I'm just not sure where I stand. Even though I felt about %85 comfortable at that party, there were moments I was totally not comfortable with. Like when two of the band guys tried to have a conversation with me.

So tonight, when I got home, my neighbor was headed out to walk his dog. He's had a rough year for which I totally feel sympathy, but I could also feel him angling for an invitation to chat. Tonight, I am super excited to have a very clean apartment all to myself, because tomorrow I will be seeing a Cal game with Sex and then having a dinner with a friend at night. But tonight, I wanted quiet. I know I've talked a lot about being an introvert, and I hope y'all aren't tired of these posts. But I think it's because I go back and forth a lot about being more social and outgoing. But really, what's so wrong with staying in? Huh?

Now leave me alone. hee.