come again?

In general terms, man is regarded as living in an unreal world of illusory values that he's imposed on himself. He's feeling his way by evolution back to God-realization and the illusion is broken away, bit by bit. You need the illusions until you reach very pure saintly states. When you lose all contact with your illusory state, you become totally dead-but totally aware. You've died for the last time. You don't incarnate again-you just blend. It's the realization of what we all intellectually know-universal consciousness-but it's no good to know until you can actually realize it.

Tommy's real self represents the aim-God and the illusory self with teacher; life, the way the path and all this.

-Pete Townsend on Tommy

Friggin' trippy man.

aint it lonely out there?

have you ever thought about how much of this world is based around being unhappy with what you have? How much of it is focused on always wanting more? the people who always want more are always lionized as being "forward thinking" or "ambitious" or "innovative". the people who don't are "backward" or "living in the past" or "lazy". so much of marketing and advertising is aimed at telling you not only do you not have enough, but it's bad if you think you are content. that wanting is more important than having.

desire for something else is great, but what happens at the end of the day when it's just not enough?

maybe it's not about wanting more, but wanting more of what's important. and at the end of the day, knowing and understanding what is enough of something. i love ice cream and yet, i don't want three gallons of it at one time. i don't really even want any right now. it's about having what you want when you need it and in just the right amount.

is it just as important to want as it is to NOT want?

i posit this only because I'm not sure i've ever known how to properly express what it is that i want. people ask me about things i want in life and i'm just not sure anymore. the tenacity of my youth has been overshadowed by the maturity of knowing when to throw in the towel for my own sanity. and i often wonder if people in my life know how much i want them there. because i've been disappointed before; it's made me jaded. if i tell my loved ones what i want...it just makes me vulnerable.

it's like marvin gaye says (or madonna/massiveattack). i want you / but i want you to want me too / just like i want you.

random awesomeness.

ahahah...these are from my co-producer/friend from Tommy. HI-LARIOUS. Almost as good as a state senator proclaiming, "Ma'am, what planet have you spent most of your life on?"

Random thoughts from people 25-35 years old..

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my damn neighborhood.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text I started at the last one.

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this. Ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

takin' it back.

I take it back, seems like the Universe likes me after all:


Let's say you're listening to your favorite band on a stereo system. There is a place between the two speakers where you will hear the two streams of music blend perfectly, exactly as the sound engineer intended. This place is called the sweet spot. If you play tennis or baseball, you know about another version of the term "sweet spot." It's the area on the racquet or the bat where you get best results when striking the ball. According to my astrological analysis, Taurus, this will be your ruling metaphor for the next three weeks. You have arrived at your very own sweet spot -- the embodiment of all that is melodious, graceful, delicious, aromatic, and effective.

************
How amazing is it to see a person in love?

No really.

Not Tom Cruise jumping on a couch "love" or passing notes in class "love" or holding hands and kissing at sunset "love". I'm talking about:

Driving someone to the hospital at 3am for emergency gall bladder surgery love.

Entertaining the hellacious mother-in-law love.

Foreclosing the house together love.

Being kind and bittersweet about closure during a breakup love.

The inside joke about flatulence love.

Doing the thing that demands that you stand up for yourself and your dignity love.

Doing the thing that scares you the most and demands that you give up ego and pride love.

I can't give you all details because it's meant to be a surprise. But when someone divulges the sweetest and most devoted part of his or her heart to you, it gives you faith that truth and YES, love exist in this world. Even for the those of us that happen to be currently brokenhearted.

When the road gets hard, and you can no longer see
Let my love send a spark...

When the dog bites, when the bee stings...

So some shit really makes me laugh, and this is one of them

This Is Why You're Fat Blog

Included in this week's finds are the McGangBang, which is a McChicken sandwiched in the middle of a double cheeseburger. HILARITY. It's the brainchild of dylan@eat.drink.&.be.merry and I'm not sure whether or not to be amused or appalled at the eating habits of people around the country. Certainly when I eat a dinner of roast beef, gravy, ho fun and asparagus (hey, don't hate) I feel like a lardass. Then I see what 6'8" linebackers eat and I don't feel SOOO bad.

muahah.

Tw'all be.

Have been surreptitiously reading famous and semi-famous people's tweets and came across Paul Coelho's...which are half...no surprise...in Portugese.

But then this one stuck out quite clearly:
As Confucius probably said: to manage to be here and now, pay your bills first.

Alright Coelho, you got me. Time to pay the credit card bill.

let love come in.

I realized today, that until a man can make me feel as fulfilled and joyous and understood and necessary and cared for and motivated as theater does...

I will always have another mistress.

It'll happen one day, I'm so ready for it and so sure- but my man will have a hard time competing.

Today, ROLT did a huge 'Tommy' Flashmob in Union Square and it was astounding. To see a group of 80 people (yes, 80 - we were going for 200, but our sponsors didn't come through) working for two days straight, for 6 hrs of rehearsal both days and rock the square was awesome. But to participate in something that kept me giggling for 6 hours straight today, where I didn't have to think about being...well...sad, but where the situation demanded both being present and also professional; it felt like a huge part of a weight had been lifted.

That weight where it is about me. Not anymore. That's why I need family, because living for something that is not me is what I need to be happy.

Feelin' strange

"Every single thought we have does not need to be a f%#@ing text post for everyone to see!"
-reblogged from Once More With Feeling!

Cranky as hell today. Cranky and stressed.

and awash in a sea of bathos, literally wallowing in it.

Part of it is lack of sleep. Went down to "the Farm" last night to see some really talented young musicians. We're talking a 4'9" sprite of a 16 year old girl with heavy bangs and heavier eye makeup with a nickname like *Jo-Jo - sit in on a set with 6 guys twice as tall and three times as weighty as her, and bang out a drum solo like nobody's business. 14-17 year old musicians playing some seriously great jazz. SFtoNy's long time friend has been a counselor with them for over 10 years, and

I admired the way Linnet treated all his students, with mutual respect and a healthy dose of good humor. You could tell, they all felt comfortable talking to him. That he was truly that rare breed of adult that understands younger people as peers. I think part of it is never treating their problems as any less than the real emotional hardships they are on a psyche that young.

But a 12:30am jazz concert, no matter how awesome, is too late for me.

Also slighty nostalgic. The last time I sat around the CoHo...I was with Bagel. We squished up into some comfy chairs in the corner and held hands. We talked about life. And it was just...good. And it made me happy, but at the same time, sad.

I don't know when it was I turned into this highly introverted and quiet recluse. I've never been the biggest party animal or anything; but lately - I've been feeling the need to connect. And to..well, to put it lightly, normal people. People who do mundane things, people who just...live. They pay their bills, wash their cars, see a movie on a weekend and do regular things. I've been living too long surrounded by people who need to see greatness on an hourly basis. I want someone who eats too many ribs and passes out, the person who plays beer pong but doesn't pass out, the accountant.

This is a weird post to share, I wrote it a week ago. I still feel...strange.

"Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something." ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

whew!

Oh thank god.

Perhaps literally: 11 Famous People Who Were in the Completely Wrong Career at Age 30.

Cause this is something I think about a little too much. Or way too much. Sylvester Stallone, who knew?