I am America - and so can you.

I.NEARLY.SPIT.MY.COFFEE.AT.MY.SCREEN. (I heart this so much)

Jon Stewart needs to donate me some frozen sperm so I can combine it with Obama's and make a super baby. I will settle for tickets to the Daily Show.

"Every time Barack Obama speaks, an angel has an orgasm."

And the gold goes to...

*snort* hee hee hee...

yeah, I'm 5 years old. I don't care, it's funny. (via Niniane)

Idelible connections

A perplexing consequence of fixing our eyes on an ideal is that it may make us sad. The more beautiful something is, the sadder we risk feeling...Our sadness won't be of the searing kind but more like a blend of joy and melancholy; joy at the perfection we see before us, melancholy at an awareness of how seldom we are sufficiently blessed to encounter any thing of its kinds. The flawless object throws into perspective the mediocrity that surrounds it. We are reminded of the way we would wish things always to be and of how incomplete our lives remain.
While a common reaction to seeing a thing of beauty is to want to buy it, our real desire may be not so much to own what we find beautiful as to lay permanent claim to the inner qualities it embodies. Owning such an object may help us realise our ambition of absorbing the virtues to which it alludes, but we ought not to presume that those virtues will automatically or effortlessly begin to rub off on us through tenure. Endeavouring to purchase something we think beautiful may in fact be the most unimaginative way of dealing with the longing it excites in us, just as trying to sleep with someone may be the bluntest response to a feeling of love.

What we seek, at the deepest level, is inwardly to resemble, rather than physically to possess, the object and places that touch us through their beauty.

- from the Architecture of Happiness by Alain de Botton.

C is for chips - that's good enough for me.

Hey! mmmK cited me in his entry today over at mmm-yoso! I feel cool. Thanks mmmK!
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Also, my chips are cracking me up. (note the by-line underneath the 'with herbs' line) It's good to know that I am ingesting items that cement my adult status. What happens if a pre-teen eats these? Do they start sprouting a beard, wearing sensible shoes and lecturing others on the evil of cashing out their 401(k)? Or is it just a comforting tagline to people of a certain age who like chips but feel like potato chips belong in the arena of pre-pubescent boys binging while playing Guitar Hero? And what's this about being bold?

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But the spirit of it. That sense of possibility and purpose and importance that suffused my every day there. That hopefulness, and the pride in what I was doing. Also, Patty's stubbornness vision. Her eagle-eyed way of really knowing and understanding a place. How do I translate that to the messier and larger arena of Oakland? This plugs into a larger question I've been asking myself--about arrogance. Where is my arrogance, the necessary arrogance of an artist that makes the rest of the life worthwhile? Did I ever have it? Will I never have it? Did the obvious needs of Mississippi let me avoid answering that question of myself? And now? Where is the fire, now? How do I do as Patty does--to let all the petty bullshit around me not touch that inner fire?

-I've been meaning to blog about this for a while, it's from RedHen's blog. Those of you who know me, also know that I've been working on and off with Red Hen for the last three years in our theater company. And she's amazing, a tour de force of vision and hard work with a way of bringing people together. Hers is a valid question; one that makes you think about not only one's status as an 'artist' but how it relates to real life. I don't quite relate to RedHen's arrogance; art is necessity. Sure you can go about your day, work in a menial job and make/do enough to survive - but without art, you never feel whole. There is a listlessness that occurs until your bones fail to stir or you die.
But, yes, as an artist you must make certain decisions about what you put out in the world in order to feel like it truly is art. The decisions must be confident, opinionated and sure. I guess, one must remember that one person's petty bullshit is another persons arrogance. Surely, a leader will always emerge; the person whose arrogance translates to confidence; a worldly wisdom that exceeds any sort of immediate or boxed in experiences. Keep the vision whole and full and beyond any one person. If you are a leader; keep your lieutenants in check and your cadets in line. Deliver on your promises and nurture talent. There will never be a day when pettiness and personal gain and selfisheness does not attempt to infect your inner fire; but only if you let it.

Blian! You come tak out lee-cyk-ables!

Scenes from lunch @ Sunrise Bistro:

HotHapaWaiter: Anything to drink?
Jerrsika: Water and an iced tea
Pen: An Arnrold...dammit, an AR-nelll...
HHWaiter: Arnold Palmer?
Pen: Yes, thank you. Goddamit, AR.NOLD. PALMER. Why is that so hard for me to say?
HHWaiter: (not missing a beat) Cause you're Asian?
Pen: ....[hi fives him]
Jerrsike: ahahha!
Pen: Fuck! You can tell?

Jerrsika: And can I have the dressing on the side?
HHWaiter: Oh you guys are going to be THAT table.
Pen: What?! Oh ahah, hey! We haven't even asked for separate checks-
HHWaiter and Pen (in unison): YET.

Hairy Ponder.

I'd love to do my hair like this for the MohmBean wedding on Sunday-but I fear I am just not that skilled. Anyone have any ideas how this could be done? It totally looks like Joan aka Christina Hendricks from Mad Men. Plus, I just got 2" trimmed from my do over the weekend, so I could also go flippy 50s. I sort of have long Veronica Lake/Brigitte Bardot sideswept bangs and layers. My dress is an A-line, knee length sheath in light silver shantung and a jewelled collar (you would not believe how much I love this dress, it's the Banana Republic collection), shoes are probably round toed pumps. Mymymy has a plethora of jeweled clips, which I certainly don't need to do, but it would be fun.

TRESemmé How "Fierce" is Your Hair? Sponsored by TRESemmé

Maybe a la Coco Chanel or Jessica Alba? I realize that in this photo Alba is more than a little airbrushed, and I think I would do the hair a little softer, but it's sort of what I'm looking for. Why can't my life come with a personal hairdresser?! Whhhyyy??!!!

I need a hero

The other week, I got a phone call from Rawbean -

"Hey? Are you gonna watch the Cho Show? It's on at 11," she blithely informed me at 10:58 - at which point, we proceeded to talk for the next two hours. Bleary eyed and dazed the next day, I all but forgot about the Cho Show, but figured that I would catch one of the multiple reruns VH1 was sure to show.

When I was 15 years old, Margaret Cho was my hero. I even wrote a paper about her and her show, "All-American Girl" citing the fact that only in America could a show like hers even have come to fruition. I caught bits and pieces of her standup on Comedy Central and HBO-but it was mostly made for network tv material, cleaned up and polished. Although, I still remember the special where she came out on stage wearing a patent leather catsuit. It wouldn't be til college when I listened to her seminal first cd, 'Drunk With Power' in all its alcoholic, foul-mouthed, beautifully truthful glory that I got it.

See, there were plenty of Asian American role models for me to follow, in those days: Connie Chung, Amy Tan, Maya Lin, Maxine Hong Kingston - plenty of Asian American women were coming to the forefront of popular culture as educated, well-spoken and worthy of notice. But Cho spoke to the darker side of me. The side that desired tattoos and screaming my anger and frustration and my burgeoning love of gay male companionship. The side that didn't want to be the 'good girl' any longer, didn't want to have to be good at math or the violin or be the picture of virtuous grace. The side that wanted to RAGE.

Well, my hero is back. And madder than a heart attack. I love the set up of this show; it's sort of like Run's House-where she provides running commentary after each event as well as interviews and interaction with her sidekicks and 'Glam Squad'. The first episode shows Cho dealing with her parents and accepting an award from the Korean Community as 'Korean' of the year.

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The quiet voice at the end of the day.

Oh. From Dr. Scott's blog: 'Never After'

“We’ll get an EKG.” It didn’t expect it to tell me anything I didn’t already know, but it would tell her that someone cared. A doctor’s valentine.
“I won’t be here this week. Dr. Blonde will take over for me,” I told her with mixed feelings.I was glad to take care of her again but I was a little relieved to be going off service too. Youth and beauty still make me nervous, especially in these grim tales. I learned early that princesses don’t always get to live happily ever after.
You have to play your heart card close to your chest. And hope no one is listening to it.


People involved in the medical profession constantly change my perspective on life. I've been reading Dr. Scott's blog for more than 8 years (yeah, that number scares me too), and I'm always touched by his honesty, candor and semi-gritty look at married life and his rewarding/heart-rending work as a doctor. Every time I think I'm having a bad day or want to cry or go postal on someone-hearing a story like this will break my heart. I guess when you're dealing with issues of life and death on a daily basis, everything becomes enhanced-and everything else that seems so big to you, suddenly seems so small. It makes me want to take better care of J.; not because I think he's a god or anything, he's only one person, with plenty of funny personality quirks and faults just like me. But at the end of the day, somebody is counting on him to make a difference.

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow." Mary Anne Radmache


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Oof, my booty has been getting a little too big for my comfort lately. Time for a return to salads, working out, walking to work more and possibly some tap lessons. From MSNs Ten Reasons You're Not Losing Weight. This 3rd Reason, I'm like - What? I'm not quite sure I get it. Oohhhh...if you're too hot, you actually reduce your desire to eat. That actually makes sense, when it's super hot, I don't want to ingest anything.

Roadblock No. 3: You crank the AC.
What's wrong with that? Al Gore wants you to lay off the thermostat to save the planet. Here's how it can save (the shape of) your own ass, too: In a study published in Physiology & Behavior, researchers found that exposure to temperatures above the "thermoneutral zone"—the artificial climate we create with clothes, heating, or air conditioning—decreases our appetite and food intake. "At a slightly uncomfortable 81 degrees, the women in the study experienced a 20 percent decrease in appetite and ate 10 percent less than at 72 degrees," says lead author Margriet S. Westerterp-Plantenga, Ph.D., a professor of food-intake regulation in the department of human biology at Maastricht University in the Netherlands.
Detour: Instead of cranking the air conditioner every time you feel a little warm, learn to endure slightly steamier conditions. Hitting the "off" button is well worth a little discomfort if it helps you lose the saddlebags.

Roadblock No. 10: You never think about potassium.
What's wrong with that? A recent Canadian study concluded that getting more potassium might help lower your weight and blood pressure. Levels measured in study participants were proportional to their diet and weight. "That makes sense," says Blatner. "The richest sources of potassium are beans, vegetables, and fruit, so the person with high potassium levels is consuming a lot of these foods, which are low in calories and are the most filling."
Detour: You should aim for 4,700 milligrams of potassium each day. Supplements may help you hit that target, but doctors don't recommend them for everyone. Try filling up on white beans (1 cup: 1,000 mg potassium), winter squash (1 cup: 494 mg), spinach (1 cup: 840 mg), baked potato with skin (926 mg), yogurt (1 cup: 600 mg), halibut (4 ounces: 566 mg), and orange juice (1 cup: 473 mg).

Viva la vie boheme

Thought of the day (via Unicornology):

You’re a unique individual. However, your troubles are universal. Flights are delayed, pets pass away, and people get dumped. (Ugh those things suck so hard; thinking about them makes me teary.) Life is not fair, you know this, and everybody feels it. That being said, rest assured that your personal pain is no more painful than that of the person next door. We’re all in this together. We’ll help each other when we can and we’ll suck it up when we have to. We’re equals, peers, lucky enough to be part of a community.
Today remind yourself: I’m special, but I don’t expect special treatment.

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Follow up to dying seafood on Market Street ie. Aquarium of Death

According to the comments, bat rays are probably in season and are sometimes sold as food. Which doesn't explain randomly abandoning them on a major city sidewalk to the bemusement and confusion of the masses, but hey, at least it's an explanation right?

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Just reminiscing on one of my very favorite classes back in college because I was talking to GreyGander about watercoloring. I took it during my lightest semester-I was only taking three classes mostly because I didn't get into the Psych 101 class that I actually didn't have an interest in after a while. So I ended up taking a 9am Italian 4 class, a 12pm Architectural History lecture and a 7pm Drawing course. Yeah, I took a lot of naps. Many of my days started with waking up and stumbling to Italian with my strict dictator of a Milanese TA and then going back to the dorm and alternating between surfing the web and going back to bed. At night, though, the witching hours were taken up by my drawing class. Full of mostly seniors trying to fufill their last sketching/art requirement; I was one of only two sophmores in the class and wrote a haiku for our last assignment which was telling our professor what grade we deserved.

We did a lot of nude model drawing and random pieces imitating art styles of Picasso, Seurat, Monet, Mondrian etc. It was a fun class, late at night, scribbling on huge pieces of paper with my beret wearing professor bouncing around the room, playing us jazz and showing us the weird portraits Freud's (Lucien I think) grandson painted. I would come home-tired but meditative, coated in charcoal, oil pastels and ink. Short of smoking Galuoises, it was as close to bohemian that I would ever get, or ever want to get. But we pretty much got to use whatever media we wanted and pretty much got to draw whatever subjects we wanted, outside of class. It was an insular environment, dark outside, light, bright and nude inside. Since none of them knew me, they didn't really know what to expect and I was left to my own devices. In a way, it was a real first taste of actual artistic freedom. Apart from the petty social clubs that ran rampant through my '01 graduates-the people I had taken class with since freshman year- I found that I enjoyed art and artists. They were more interesting, more experienced, more open minded.

Even today, I love hanging out with singers and actors who are either way older or way younger than myself. But generally, I can't stand other actors who are my age. I wonder why that is. Lack of competition? Lack of perceived agist prejudices? I ran into one of the leads from 'Rocky' at Ms/Mr Bird's show in Berkeley over the weekend; and it was like we agreed not to recognize or acknowledge each other. Now, she could be just as shy as me or not remember me, but I did try to catch her eye to say hi and she wouldn't even look up. I've actually met her twice; once at callbacks and once during the table read. I mean, I'm not going to hold it against her, but dude, remember just because you think you're hot shit today doesn't mean you won't be cold diarrhea tomorrow. Just to make it relevant, we're the same age; except she's a Virgo.

I'm just saying.

Watch a video of my other art professor, C. Sullivan give a watercolor technique demo. It's the technique I still use to this day. Esp. putting the wash of yellow down first to get a more vibrant final painting.

Under the sea? Or just under the F-Line?

For some reason, random sea life keeps showing up and dying on Market Street (today a starfish, a couple of days ago, a manta ray). You know, due to the fact that Market is not flooded with salt water. Some of the possible, not necessarily plausible, causes theorized by SFist readers include -

-Project by Academy of Art student

-Ocean gang warfare

-Promotion for grand re-opening of Steinhart.

-Spongebob Squarepants on a meth rampage

-the Apocolypse bringing on the rise of Octogods.

-"These two marine animals were going through a rite of passage, whereby they are dropped off in the middle of the urban landscape and are expected to find their way back home. Not all of them make it back. Yes it's cruel but who are we to judge their oceanic ways?"

-"Perhaps a blunt warning of the future of ocean life due to global warming. Next, a dead polar bear cub."

-"Somewhere there's a nervous employee at the new Steinhart Aquarium going: "Shit, I put the giant Manta Ray next to the truck to bring 'em over from downtown...and now I can't find 'em anywhere."

-"The Rays did play in Oakland this week...maybe Rocco Baldelli accidentally left him behind at the hotel and the poor fella was just trying to get a cab to SFO to fly home to Florida."

I think that someone, like a Rob Schneider in 'Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigalo' inadvertently had to move his boss' ridiculously obscene and large deep sea aquarium. Did it via pouring the entire contents into a large pickup and lost a couple of victims on the way to the new location. Or it's a fucked up PETA campain. Either way, you will probably find hordes of hungry Asians lying in wait now at New Montgomery with a armory of portable woks, deep fryers, cornstarch and chili peppers stalking their prey. Mmmm...calamari.

So now, Market Street = the Aquarium of Death?

ahaha, commentary on the general cluelessness of the SFPD to deal with deliquent marine life: "Yes, we all know that the SFPD have to undertake 48 hours of dangerous-aquatic-creatures-on-the-sidewalk training every year. He should have known exactly what to do."

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Oh. And No-TV Monday? HIGHLY successful. Worked out, sorted a ton of music, cooked dinner, made notes on a song, went to bed early. Will continue in the future, so that I can commence reversing my brain atrophy.

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Hahah! This is actually sort of cute. Mac vs. PC in Battle Pizza!

Updatism

5 Ways to Increase Creativity: via FreshCreation.com

I've decided to have a no-TV Monday. (Which includes catching up on all the seasons of South Park) I've discovered that I am so much more productive when I don't succumb to watching television. I've also decided to update my list of places that I want to eat, so the next time J. or Nim asks me, I can say: "HERE!" (and don't get caught up in the scary trifecta of pizza-hamburger-milkshake eateries)

Lately, I know, a lot of my blogs have consisted of a collection of quotations culled from other sites, odd bits of news and weird videos. I've not lost my love of blogging, but I do feel like I'm running out of things to talk about. Or possibly talking about the same things over and over again. Why is it you can constantly dissect the same three topics with your friends, but once you've blogged them, they can never be spoken of again? Is putting an issue or problem into the written word the same as solving it? Or as we get older do we get more private about our issues-or become better at our perspectives of things? I almost wrote an entry last night about my stubborness in relationships. Maybe I'll try it again tonight-it just started to get self-indulgent at 10pm on a Sunday night. So I gave up and watched 'South Park' instead.

“ When you’re a teenager and in your early twenties [love] seems desperately eternal and excruciatingly painful. Whereas as you grow older you realise that most things are excruciatingly painful and that is the human condition. Most of us continue to survive because we’re convinced that somewhere along the line, with grit and determination and perseverance, we will end up in some magical union with somebody. It’s a fallacy, of course, but it’s a form of religion. You have to believe. There is a light that never goes out and it’s called hope. — Morrissey (via Unicornology)

Well, there goes my November...

What??!?! BULLSHIT!!

Next 'Harry Potter' flick moved to 2009

"Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," the sixth installment in the blockbuster film franchise about boy wizard Harry, is moving from its planned Nov. 21 release to July 17, 2009, distributor Warner Bros. said Thursday.

The switch will mean a two-year lag between the film adaptations of books five and six in J.K. Rowling's fantasy series. But it will shorten fans' wait between "Half-Blood Prince" and the final two installments, which are being shot simultaneously next year.

Not cool Warner Bros., NOT COOL.

Pretty cool

It's 12 in the morning and I'm blogging. What is wrong with me?

Went to our office's annual As game on Thursday. Actually, we as an office are not necessarily partial to any one Bay Area team, however, we have found it easier to tail gate at the Coliseum, so that's where our loyalties have lain the last couple of years. The day was absolutely gorgeous-not so hot that we were burnt up (although my shoulders are quite pink), but not so cold that we had to be bundled.

Food was yummy: burgers, sausages ("Who wants basil squirrel?!" - Sugar, my co-worker, when he couldn't remember what kind he had gotten), chips, fruit salad, mixed green salad with chicken, broccoli salad (it's actually sort of good), cookies and black bottom cupcakes. The game was actually pretty good-although, they did go into 11 innings. We didn't stick around to see who won, but took off, figuring that Tampa Bay was ahead by one with two men on base, so the As weren't going to make up the difference. Found out from J. tonight that the relief pitcher I thought was horrible, Percival, is actually on the injured list and happens to be an All-Star. So much for my trying to sound knowledgeable around a baseball expert. Luckily, J. will totally take my vocal technique notes.

What was interesting, was that this year, I sat next to my boss. Now, GreyGoose is not taciturn by any means, but in the office he likes to keep all things: attitude, conversation, activities professional. However, give him a beer and a jigger of Jack Daniels and he is all fun and games. I rarely get to talk to him in a...colleague type way-but he gave me the opportunity and I took it. We talked about how, honestly, guy talk doesn't offend me and being one of the guys is actually something I prefer rather than disdain. I don't really like it when girls get together and only talk about clothes or household items or boyfriends, because so much of it always seems to be some sort of elitest comparison contest. Who's got the biggest/better/faster/pricier...it gets old and silly after a while. In fact, some of my closest friends are the ones I never talk to about stuff like that.

And sometimes the women in the office are like that. So I prefer hanging with the guys, who treat all that stuff as fairly trivial, because I do too. What was pretty cool was that GreyGoose's daughter Gosling, was sitting in front of us and heard most of the conversation. She turned around and said, "You know...what's weird, is that my dad's office is not like a really professional office." (I think he may have cuffed her when she said it) "But it always seems cool-like you guys are having a good time."

I said, "Well, yeah, you have to have a good time when you're working, otherwise it all gets really tedious and boring. We do have a cool office."

Yeah, so that was my point, at 1am. I work in a pretty cool place for pretty cool people at a pretty cool job that I like. And now, it's time for bed.

Shenanigans!

So this has been posted on both Disgrasian and 8Asians, but you know, since this a reach out program here on Pentemporary... Recently it was noted that the girl singing during the Beijing Opening Ceremonies, Lin Miaoke was merely a lip-synching facade for less-than physically perfect Yang Peiyi - who despite less than perfect teeth (what 7 year old do you know that has PERFECT TEETH?) and round peach blossom cheeks has a lovely voice. This is one of the hardest things about being Asian, constantly being compared to other people's kids and in this case, replaced because of something you can do nothing about. It's probably why I didn't start performing til I was well into my 20s. It's hard enough trying to put your heart out on the table for public consumption without some 'auntie' or 'uncle' pointing out what you did wrong or how you're not as good as so-and-so's daughter that they saw last year.

"Pigtailed Lin Miaoke was selected to appear because of her cute appearance and did not sing a note, Chen Qigang, the general music designer of the ceremony, said in an interview with a state broadcaster aired Tuesday.But Chen said the girl whose voice was actually heard by the 91,000 capacity crowd at the Olympic stadium during the spectacular ceremony was in fact seven-year-old Yang Peiyi, who has a chubby face and uneven teeth."The reason why little Yang was not chosen to appear was because we wanted to project the right image, we were thinking about what was best for the nation," Chen said in an interview that appeared briefly on the news website Sina.com before it was apparently wiped from the Internet in China. The reason was for the national interest. The child on camera should be flawless in image, internal feelings, and expression," said Chen, a renowned contemporary composer and French citizen.
Xiao Qiang, the director of the China Internet project at the University of California at Berkeley and former dissident, said the two incidents illustrated the political nature of the Games for China. "I do not think the Chinese state realises how unethical this is, they don't understand what kind of values they are reflecting," he said. Earlier this year Olympic organisers preoccupied with the right image for the country were criticised for insisting that only tall, slim, young and attractive women could serve as medal award ceremony hostesses.

YouTube Video (crappy quality)
It's like C+C Music Factory or Milli Vanilli - I mean, are they putting out records? No, so let the world see that you have adorable talented children that look CHINESE. Do we really have to start this crap at age 7 people? I'm calling shenanigans on Chen Quigang. This striving for "perfection" will only leave you with a nation full of the depressed and uninspired. If you are wondering what sort of international image this projects...uh...

Peiyi had this to say: On Monday, Peiyi appeared on China Central Television, or CCTV, the state network. “I’m O.K. with it,” she told her interviewer, even performing a song. “My voice was used in the performance. I think that’s enough.”

Peiyi! I give you your destiny, beautiful girl. Grow up, be exactly who you want to be and are. Become powerful, rich, drop-dead gorgeous, famous and inspirational. Score a multi-platinum winning record contract, modelling gig and win an Oscar. Cure cancer and hunger worldwide. And wipe the floor with Chen Qigang, when you and Miaoke become the first women CEOs in China to head a multi million dollar free access, free speech ISP. Cause nothing says karma like the sweet smell of success.

Words! Words! I'm so sick of words?

“ Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be-because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose and then where will you be?"

Fanny Brice

Neat! 13 Words Not Found in the English Language via unicornology
1. Waldeinsamkeit (German): the feeling of being alone in the woods (I feel a Sondheim song coming on) I guess as the culture that begat the Grimm Brothers, there WOULD be a word in the German language that means this.

I'm still a fan of Schadenfreude - people taking pleasure in your pain.

That's not an available mix-in ma'am, sorry

Pen and Wen check out the ECreamery website. (a full gallon is $79.00, that's too expensive)

Pen: "Whoo! Ok, so Chocolate Merlot and Habanero!"
Wen: "What?! Pen, I don't want to have a heart attack!"
Pen: "Too bad. Ok, so for mix-ins you can get basil, cheesecake pieces, cookie dough...ew you can get cheddar cheese? Gross."
Wen: "What about crack? Is there crack?!"
Pen: "What?! There is no crack on the menu!"
Wen: "Dangit."

I don't want to wait in vain.

When you’re the type of person who usually fills her weekends and nights with an assortment of shows, rehearsals, performance gigs etc. you can occasionally find yourself at a loss on a Saturday night. So on a typical Saturday night, you can spend it doing laundry, hanging out with your parents or even yourself. You’re also stuck with the movies that happen to be on basic cable.

TBS showed Serendipity back to back last night. I remember seeing this movie when it came out and even then thinking it a bit far-fetched. It’s the story of two random strangers who have a chance meeting in a store three days before Christmas then spend a couple of hours together and fall in love. But by chance or fate-or Kate Beckinsale’s character just being lame-they never learn each other’s name, phone number or occupation. Cut to 10 years later and they’re still in love, but engaged to other people. But “something” just doesn’t feel quite right. In Beckinsale’s ‘Sara’ls case, I can see why. John Corbett in the hippie douchebag role. But in Jonathan’s case, he’s engaged to Bridget friggin’ Moyanahan. Does no one want to marry this woman? She’s so gorgeous. I mean she’s been constantly cast as the beautiful jilted fiancée so many times that it accidentally leaked over to her real life.

What resonated for me was Jeremy Piven’s character, Dean, an obituary writer (oh-so hilarious, let’s give the good-hearted and doofy best friend a thankless job) for the New York Times. As he and Cusack’s character board the plane about to take off for California, he mentions that he and his long time girlfriend have broken up. Dean points out that even though, on the surface, things were going well, underneath, they had let their passion for each other die. They no longer did things for each other that were driven by the heart, instead they lived in a comfortable space of taking each other for granted. At the end of the movie, inspired by Jonathan, Dean sets out to win back his lover.

And I’ll admit it, the movie got me, sappy soundtrack and all. Life as we all know, is not meant to be like the movies. People are not perfect; even though we may find our literal soulmate, there are still things like mortgages, poopy diapers, schedules and dishes to figure out. And yet, in this moment, parts of the movie started to get to me. The loneliness of being in love with someone else but never knowing if you will see them or be with them ever again. People are like plants, they need light, air, water, sunlight and affection. They will accept substitutes and sometimes thrive quite well. It’s the hardiest plants that say, “No way man, I’m coming up on through the concrete to find what I need the most, people and dogs be damned.” I think sometimes, even though we know what we want the most, we will accept substitutes-because we need to thrive. To feel awake and alive. We can keep making the same mistakes or accepting less than what we feel entitled to-because we need to survive.

Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Jonathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. "Things were clearer for him," Kansky noted. Ultimately Jonathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we currently refer to as destiny.-Jonathan Trager's obituary, end of 'Serendipity'

Also? My mouth tastes like a hangover, I think it’s because I ate Panda Express yesterday.

Dean: “You are a jackass. You are. You are my hero, you know? You’re like my oracle and shit, you know? You’re out there man, and you’re makin’ it happen…Courtney moved out.”
Jonathan: “What?”
“Yeah, look man, we’ve been fighting for a real long time.
“Why didn’t you tell me?!”
“We didn’t want to ruin your wedding man, just didn’t want to rain on your parade man.
“What the hell happened?”
“We just, we let it slip away, you know? That’s the point. You know, it DIED. We died.”
“What was the cause of death?”
“Not enough of all of this.” (picks up the book, “Love in the Time of Cholera” that has Sara’s phone number written in it) Of this, of this! (puts his hand on Jonathan’s chest/heart). And not enough, you know…You remember the philosopher Pinticus? He said, if you want to improve be content to be thought foolish and stupid. That’s what you’ve done.”
“I work hard at it.”
“Now, I want to be a jackass. You know? YOU’RE THE SHIT!”



Annie Lennox did s cover of Bob Marley's, 'Waiting in Vain' for the soundtrack and it's so amazing. The video is hilarious-I mean, I get it, but watching a 40+ year old woman doing stop animation affects to live video wearing Mickey Mouse ears is a tad bizarre. I've included a YouTube video of this guy Chris Ramos doing it on ukelele and sounding pretty awesome as well. The Dora the Explorer beanie kills me, which is probably why I included it.

at peace, for now.

I don't know anymore. But the smallest things seem big and biggest things seem small. If you know what I'm talking about-go ahead and speculate. But it's all turning into 'cricket' baby. Don't be afraid; it's just calling my name-the air ahead. Or up there. Saying that it's all the way it's supposed to be. To be at peace, cause there is light and freedom, and I owe my belief in that fact. Cause somewhere, out there (beneath the pale moon light?) someone believes in me.

You know, serendipity.

I'm not smoking ganja, I swear.



Oh fine, just listen to a pretty song. Sigur Ros.

SF Theater Eating.

Well...after doing two shows, three sets of rehearsals and numerous time in the Downtown Union Square area, I thought it about time that I start reviewing...

No, not the shows.
Not the rehearsals.
The restaurants at the food court.
See, without these bastions of good taste and semi-fine dining, I would have been forced to eat countless nights of pizza, burgers and the occasional food-poisoning inducing burrito (see Floyd, in ST). Luckily, living in foodie central San Francisco (home to the new Slow Food Movement Festival), the locals are dearth to put up with anything close to resembling TGI Fridays, in fact, only the Cheesecake Factory has been allowed to remain.
Pasta Moto
-one of the few satisfying meals I've ever had at the mall. Or two actually. I was craving gnocchi with bolognese once, but it's supposed to come with pesto. But I asked them for a substitution and presto! They made me gnocchi with bolognese. And it was hot, satisfying and delicious. It just hit all those good little corners. Have also had a panini here, not bad not bad. Time wise, you'd better have at least 45 minutes from order to finish-they issue pagers which means, long wait (6-10 min.) time.
Out the Door
-the food at Out the Door is good, but pricey. We're talking $8 spring rolls and such. I had $10 pho there once and also some $9 lemongrass chicken. I don't really dig on Out the Door so much, except for the fact that it's healthy. I'd rather trudge two Muni stops over to Civic Center and Little Saigon for some ACTUAL Vietnamese food. ($3.50 sammies at Saigon Sandwich!)
Andale
-Sucky McSuckerson. I had a fajita burrito here and they had the audacity to charge me $8 for it. They didn't wrap it in foil, instead, they put it into a take out box. By the time I got it back to the Exit, it was soggy and tasted horrible. And they took FOREVER. To make a burrito? The taquerias in the Mission bang deliciousness out in 3 minutes flat. Negative points.
Mr. Hana's Japanese
-The last time I ate here, they only had their spicy tuna bowl. I dropped by Monday and saw that they had added a poke bowl. Yay for non spicy fish! It's an excellent combo of fish, rice, pea sprouts, wakame salad, ginger and avocado. And some nori. Definitely points for freshness and healthiness. Rice wasn't in good condition though. Now, if they would only add ramen.
Asqkew
-Yes, it's a chain found all over the city. But I like Asqkew, their other outlets have more variety and better seating, but this one still has your typical skewer and choice of side. I like Asqkew for their health factor (thai chicken on salad? Can't be beat) and the fact that you can order one or two skewers. The only that sucks about Askew is their cooking time which is mega slow.
Beard Papa
-the king of cream puffs. Love love love the vanilla cream. Chocolate is ok, but stay away from the other flavors, esp. strawberry which tastes so artificial, it makes Pamela Anderson look naturally endowed. But they are faster than a Korean bikini waxer.
Coriander Thai
-the most bang for your buck, quickest and tastiest. But also greasiest. I've had the pad thai (meh), dry fried green beans (good), eggplant (good), basil chicken (very good) and curry (meh). It is totally arranged as a steam table, and those are your easiest items to add to your plate. I think the calorie count generally runs high on these foods, but if you're looking to get in and out of the mall, go here first. And look for the items freshly cooked and just added to the table.
Bristol Farms
-you can get pretty much anything you've ever wanted to eat at Bristol Farms, including haggis (I should know, I asked the meat counter guy) and I have. They have excellent matzo ball soup and a really really good chirashi bowl (basically sashimi quality raw fish over rice, no seaweed). I've also picked up greek yogurt and thrown some fruit in from the salad bar, gotten their softshell crab roll, and eyed their steam table rather enviously. The only problem is how expensive everything is. Even just a soup and some fruit and a roll will set you back about $10.
SF Soup Company
-I used to go here a lot when I was working downtown, here and ChiliUp. And my favorite was always the Chicken Tortilla Soup. You get delicious, spicy tomato based soup with chunks of chicken, topped with tortilla strips, cheese and avocado. Decent cornbread. A very good deal for what you get. Prices have gone up, but I'd still stop here for a quick soup if I was in the mood.
Sorabol
-the same Sorabol that you find in pretty much every mall. Which means plates filled with rice, vermicelli and grilled chicken, pork, beef or short ribs. Soups, veggie bowls, fried dumplings and the assorted steam table items also available. A good standby.
Buckhorn Grill
-I've had the Roadhouse Buck here - which is their typical tri-tip sammie topped with fried onions and blue cheese. And then I had the gall to have it with mashed potatoes. I don't know what is wrong with me other than an early death wish. Their salads are pretty decent (Crispy Chicken, Cabo Chop, Yik Yak and Roadhouse) and even though it takes them FOREVER to cook the grilled salmon, it's delicious.
King of Thai Noodle
-Not strictly in the mall, but about two blocks away, nestled on O'Farrell near the entrance to Macy's (look for the purple awning). The food here is no frills, delicious, freshly made and cheap. I get the pad kee mow, fried chicken on fried rice, or tom kha gai with noodles.
Nordstrom Cafe Bistro
-If you have a little extra time, extra cash or your mom's taking you to lunch, hit the top floor of Nordstrom's for their cafe. First of all, you get a stellar view of the city and the food isn't half bad either. Sandwiches, salads, soups and entrees plus desserts are all good here.

Wichcraft

-Colicchio's little sandwichery on Mission behind Bloomingdale's may not have the best location since it's away from the heavy traffic side. And I've never been in here when it's packed, but I really really like the quality of everything I've had here-even if it does have the tendency to be on the salty side. They serve all sandwiches with a side of krispy kettle chips and the workers are all really nice. The fried egg, turkey and roasted pork sandwiches are all good. It's also a clean and quiet place to meet up with friends or look over scripts. I was also here once at the end of the day when they gave me a free cinnamon bun. Yay for freebies.
Max's Opera Cafe
Kitty corner to the Curran and ACT and down the block from the Phoenix, is Max's. I wouldn't go here unless I bountiful time to eat a meal (1-1/2 hrs), but they serve excellent reproductions of East Coast food. At least by a West Coasters standard. Great chicken pot pie, sandwiches, and appetizers. I always go for a not-so-mini Reuben or a chopped salad. Service is pretty fast, especially if you tell them you're going somewhere. And they're nice with large groups.
Macy's
-The quality of food has never faltered at the basement level food court for Macys and for that I give it props. Consistency by regulars: Wolfgang Puck, Boudins, Jamba Juice, Tom's Cookies and a random sushi place always bodes well for diners. I think they've also added a Mexican place in the last year. I just go to Wolfgang Puck for: spinach salad with chicken, freshly made pastas, entrees and herby french fries. It's close to places like ACT, SF Playhouse, the Curran and Phoenix Theaters
Katana-Ya Ramen
Nestled across the street from the Curran, blink and you might miss it Katana Ya moved here from their Judah street location and so far, I'm not as big of a fan. You can still get those interesting combo meals of ramen + (tonkatsu, teriyaki) or with chicken karaage, but last time I was there, my soup tasted mostly of bamboo shoots. I'd rather head to San Mateo for some good ramen.
Random Pizza Place
Ok, so right next door to the King of Thai noodle on Geary is this random pizza place which is not good for anything except falafel. Their falafel, even though it takes a while to make, maybe 10-15 minutes. It's really good and cheap. Cheapest vegetarian food down there anyhow. Just put your order in for the falafel, go to Starbucks a couple doors down and get your green tea or lemonade and then come back for your hot, crispy, tasty falafel. Mmmm.

It's just a jump to the left...

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde

So some super exciting news, I'll be doing 'Rocky Horror' come fall! Yeah baby! Definitely come and check us out. I'm in the ensemble and I'll tell you why I accepted.

• We did our first read-thru and the ENSEMBLE list reads like a who's who of Bay Area Theater. I mean we're talking people who have played leads, people who have played cameo roles, people who almost have their Equity cards. People who are incredible dancers and limitless singers. I'm in INCREDIBLE company.


• Which leads us to the company, ROLT. They're a young, fledgling company putting together great shows with energetic, talented casts mixing both experienced and experiemental insiders with talented newbies raring to show off. I've been wanting to work with them for a while-if only for the fact that they ALWAYS do shows that I want to do and they're just on the edge of getting big but still inspiring new ideas and independent thought.


• Which leads us to their newest indepent thinker, director C. Caplin. Damn, this woman is serious. Not only is she an award winning choreographer and dancer, but she's also a thoughtful, introspective, forward thinker. My type of director. She brought us all into the read-thru with an invitation to bring all that we've got - including our ideas and individuality.


• And plus, it's friggin ROCKY HORROR! During Halloween. In San Francisco. Could you say perfect? Perfecter? If there was ever a time and place to do a cult musical-this would be it. Hahah, after this production I should just start writing on my resumes, "cult musicals only plz., thx."

So during our discussion of character and costuming on Monday night, someone threw in the word, 'steampunk'. As a designer, it's important to know all sorts of different genres of design from rococco to art nouveau to bauhaus to chinoiserie...but I had never ever heard the term 'steampunk' before, so I looked it up.

• 
  Steampunk is a subgenre of fantasy and speculative fiction that came into prominence in the 1980s and early 1990s. The term denotes works set in an era or world where steam power is still widely used—usually the 19th century, and often set in Victorian era England—but with prominent elements of either science fiction or fantasy, such as fictional technological inventions like those found in the works of H. G. Wells and Jules Verne, or real technological developments like the computer occurring at an earlier date. Other examples of steampunk contain alternate history-style presentations of "the path not taken" of such technology as dirigibles or analog computers; these frequently are presented in an idealized light, or a presumption of functionality.
  Steampunk is often associated with cyberpunk and shares a similar fanbase and theme of rebellion, but developed as a separate movement (though both have considerable influence on each other). Apart from time period and level of technological development, the main difference between cyberpunk and steampunk is that steampunk settings usually tend to be less obviously dystopian than cyberpunk, or lack dystopian elements entirely.
  
  

Steampunk is sort of fucking cool. And possibly getting a little played out with its emergence from underground obscurity (see Edward Gorey Ball). It's basically a mix of Victoriana, punk, Industrial era-think the Matrix meets Henry James, Dr. Who. Firefly, that mixes sci-fi with Western with Asian touches and design is a perfect example of 'steampunk'. Hellboy2 is also a good example. Leather corsets or vests mixed with fluffy bloused shirts, boots with buckles. Industrial utility mixed with Romantic touches.

And the coolest friggin' office ever designed. Photo at top. I'm not quite sure how people actually work in this environment; because it is amazingly gorgeous (and they have an open bar and comfy lounges and GuitarHero). It's the homebase of Three Rings Games in SOMA. (via Wired Mag) Based upon pirate ships, Jules Verne and the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Soooo cool.

Talk to me...like lovers do?

New goal: dress nicely to go to work, because despite being asked to occasionally measure a trash enclosure, it will negate being asked for a date wearing fugly comfort clothes that were hanging off your desk chair thereby necessitating the purchase of cute clothes. Also, will start carrying eyeliner and lipgloss in purse.

P: So my brother told me this the other day, that I am not a fag-hag simply because I hang out with a lot of gay men. That in fact I am what is referred to as a, "fruit fly" cause I'm slimmer and wear makeup.
J: Like a lipstick lesbian...but not.
P: Yeah.
J: A higher level fag hag? Nice.
P: Ha! Yes, I'm in the upper eschelon of 'fag hags'.

NOTE: Thank god someone finally answered my question about the difference between 'otters' and 'cubs'. Jeez, took long enough-the cutest thing? Asian Bears (in the gay community) are known as 'Panda' bears. That is a level of awesomeness nearly beyond my comprehension.

J: So I read her charts and one of her symptoms was 'itchy vagina'
P: Eww.
J: (this is when I was distracted by eating)...So I started to feel it.
P: Wait...what?

J: So basically, my co-worker disappeared.
P: What?
J: She was all, "I'm going to go in for a meeting." so I told her I'd see her at lunch. Then at 3pm, all traces of her were gone! Then, PhDr. basically sent out a memo saying that they had to let her go.
P: ...dude, PhDr. is totally in the mafia.
J: I know.

That's all.

yeah, this scares the shit out of me too.

This is what I am afraid of. Not only are they bored, but he’s thinking, “wtf i should have had sex with at least 10 other women” and she’s thinking, “asshole.” - via Last Week's Date

Dear holy jeezus.

The one thing I love the most about my parents is how much they actually enjoy each other's company. Genuinely. I think my dad enjoys playing white knight to my mother's ever demanding queen mother. Oh well, it works for them. They like going on adventures with each other and seeing new places. Ever since my brother and I stopped going on vacation with them, they've been coming back from whirlwind world tours happy as little Asian clams. You know...cause they're Asian.

Growing up though, I used to fear, incessantly that my father would tire of my mom, her illogical ranting/raging and his life with her. And he would leave us. But more importantly he would leave me to deal with the trainwreck that would have become my womb incubator. Luckily, my father is a man of honor and it seems that since they had a life before us, the 'rents can now go on and continue to have a life sans us. My parents used to tell me all sorts of neat things they would do before we came along; going to this cheesecake factory in Portrero Hill at midnight and splitting one, betting on 49er seasons with boxes of Frango mints, day trips to places...

They recently celebrated their 35th Anniversary and spent it overseas in Barcelona. For 10 days, and didn't get upset once. I don't know what it is about kids that caused them so much stress. Goodness knows we were just trying to be ourselves. But yeah, while I'm glad I'm alive and all, I think my parents are definitely enjoying their kid-free existence.

So it makes me think, my parents are not perfect-far from any sort of compairison. And yet, together they're happy. I can be that happy too, but I wonder what sort of sacrifices and compromises they've made for that happiness. What things they ignore or overlook or just accept about each other in order to achieve an equilibrium of relationship. I would say that they're about 80% happy. My dad because he's just a content person, my mom because my dad mainly aquiesces to her desires. Currently, I'm unmarried. So I have time, a little bit, to find out what my compromises and sacrifices will be, what I will ignore or overlook for the sake of love and friendship.

And I wonder why and how it got so hard. For two people as difficult as my parents to have a rather successful marriage, why can't I find satisfaction? Is it just the era of instant gratification that seduces me? Or the high rate of divorce and breaking up amongst my peers? The ideology of 'happiness' and going after every impulse? Well, it's making me a wee bit tired. Impulses are fine, for say...shoes. But at the end of the day - one pair of arms is all I'm looking for. Wrapped in a soft navy sweater. Smiles, the seat next to them on the couch. And hopefully not looking as disgruntled as the party above. But gentle, warm, knowing what pillow I like best. That's all.

****************************

Um...guys? Target has some CUTE ass shoes this season. We're talking...cute. Maybe a little Betty Boop 40s chick, but whatevs. I'm gettin'. See evidence below.

Did you get her innuendo?

“ To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. "— Oscar Wilde

Last year, while doing research for the noir play I did, all the actresses passed around a copy of George Cukor's classic, 'The Women'. Ostensibly for hair-do ideas, but in reality, to capture the cutting underhanded commentary, quick noir-style repartee and outright wittiness of some of the most phenomenal actresses of the day. I mean we're talking: Joan Crawford, a young Paulette Goddard and the AMAZING Rosalind Russell. And yes, Norma Shearer. And there are zero male actors at all in the movie.What is absolutely incredible is how well the movie stands up and how much it still relates to the issues that women have today. (health and fitness, marriage infidelity, raising children, dealing with parents) The pure cattiness of the women should shock me, but at the same time...

Well, see while some women in our era have been taught to fight with off handed comments and underhanded dealings, many haven't. And while one should never stoop to using these weapons in polite company, in IMpolite company-the attitude and sharpness comes in handy. One British journalist agrees. These days, it's all about out and out catfights to the delight and entertainment of men. Women of the 30s and 40s still knew how to fight like gentlewomen and proved their brains doing so. It's the company of social climbers, sorority sisters, socialites, communications majors, egotistical actors, Southern belles, cheerleaders and spirit committees. Again, I'm a huge proponent of fighting fair, being upfront and honest and also picking your battles, but if some shrill is going to go to the lengths to try to put you down in the name of her self-esteem; it doesn't hurt to learn to battle like the enemy.

IMDB Quotes page for The Women

Nancy Blake: You're so resourceful, darling, I ought to go to you for plots.

Sylvia Fowler: You ought to go to someone.

oh really?

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Live a little or live a lot.

Life can take you on some crazy trips every now and then-and all you can do is just sort of laugh and hang on.

Just got back from Grass Valley (which is about 20 miles North of Sacramento) performing a gig for a friend of a mom of a friend of mine. Yeah, you heard that correctly. At a gorgeous, designed from the ground up ranch on a huge piece of property. Complete with man-made lake, basketball/tennis court, horse stables, orchard...uh, basically a house out of a MTV's Cribs. For a former U.S. Senior Presidential Economist and professor at Cal and about 80 of his relatives and friends.

As a clown.

Yeah, it's a little surreal, which I suppose the good parts of life are. Yeah, I got pie in the face and was paid very well for it. And it was so weird to experience the juxtaposition of a gorgeous ranch with the quietly evident turmoil surrounding the people there. Sitting on the grass with a sleeping puppy in my arms, and one of my best friends in the whole world sitting next to me, taking in the sights. Full of amazing food like rack of lamb, heirloom tomatoes, mashed potatoes and berry cobbler. Listening to a band play rock classics. The sun setting gently over Northern California hills.

It's all I need in the world. It's possibly more. I hope to be able to repay the favor one day. And to give back more than I have received. But for now, take me crazy life, I embrace you.

Care to wok your dog?

By the way? There are 111 dogs in the LA Area registered under the name, 'Mochi', that is so friggin cute. And Asian. (the dog in the photo is actually named Mochi, which I find rather appropriate)

1,020 named, 'Kobe'
57 named, 'Mushu'
5 named, 'Kimchi'
5 named, 'Chow Mein'
and NO...not as menu items. Jerks.

LA Times Online Dog Registry

Shopping Friday

“ It doesn’t matter if your life is large or small. It only matters that it’s the right size for you. “ Anne Mathewson

Shopping Friday: I haven't done one of these in a while. Then I clicked around on the Anthropologie page.

Damn you Anthropologie. Damn you to hell.

These two tops are so gorgeous for different reasons. Exhibit A on the left. Purple, ruffles, a perfect top to layer, wear to work, wear out, wear casually. On the right, a gorgous 40s reminiscent top with papyrus graphic print and obi cumberbund. In a faint powdery blue and off center rounded collar. Le sigh...

Next up: two stunning dresses. The red one on the left is such a perfect shade. At least internet worthy. And it's modest enough for meeting your bf's mom, but JUST sexy enough to make him twitchy during dinner. The one on the right is just a gorgeous shade of green. And very wedding appropriate

These last two tops just caught my eye. The brown one for its Rita Hayworth winning proportions and flowery dashes. The blue one...well, it's hard to say. Maybe it's the geometric print, or the way the collar tucks JUST so. Or the exaggerated tie front. Either way, both quite chic-but made for two different ladies.