it's a moose. a huge friggin' moose! oh and Elijah Wood

Yes BITCHES, YESSSS!!

captainkirk:ibluemyself:stepone:unicornology

Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as high...

Can I be super honest? Of course I can...

I am wary of moving out. Not because of sky-rocketing costs of housing, psychotic potential roomies or the unreliability of the job market or even the immovability of my mountain of shoes.

It's because of my book collection.

See, I recently went on a date with a writer. Who I'm sure played down the witticisms during our two hour coffee, but may wield them mercilessly in the future. (if he ever calls) Aside from now understanding that my previous broken eHeart was from a donkey that they must have put on the site to keep me coming back to spend more money, my dating prospects are often few and far between. (the one drawback of theater) It was then that a paltry realization dawned, I have shit on a shelf when it comes to my reading material.

Ok, so I do have a copy of the Great Gatsby and I read Salinger religiously. But I also have copies of VC Andrews and a hardbound copy of a Jean M. Auel book (yes, yes I do). An entire collection of Anne McCaffrey - that I love, but is probably panned by the rest of the sci-fi world, save for her sheer prolific abilities. It gets better. I have psychoanalysis of fashion trends ie. one woman's story of how she stopped spending (Her triumphant find is a silk Ann Taylor blouse at a thrift store for a holiday party that sounds like a suburban horrorfest. Beat my Anna Sui dress for $22 and we'll talk) How to Dating books, how to love yourself single books, how to love men books, how to strangle and hog tie men books. (I think that last one may have been a present). Maeve Binchy makes a prominent showing with three books, Helen Fielding with three.
I have chick lit.
I have romance novels.
I have Asian American literature (because I'm often confused by what my cultural roots are and the best way to get over that is to read about other people who are equally confused)

What does this say about me or my intellectual abilities? I think it proabably says more about my intellectual standards than anything.

But when I think about the books that people consider "epic" writing - books like War and Peace, Anna Karenina, Slaughterhouse, Animal Farm...I cringe. Because while I will read those novels for educational purposes, I'd rather curl up with a set of Vogues and Peoples. Embarrassing as that is, reading is a pleasurable pastime of mine not a form of literary torture.

The good:
Franny & Zooey
Catcher in the Rye (very threadbare)
Nine Stories
I Lay Down by the River Piedra
The Inner Voice
The Great Gatsby
Shakespeare Vol. 1
Antigone
Proof
Fast Food Nation
Wicked
All 7 Harry Potter books
Lord of the Rings trilogy
Architecture books

Middling/Suspicious:
The Prophet - Kahlil Gibran
The Alchemist
Making it on Broadway
Eat, Pray, Love
The Grace of Great Things
Be Here Now
AsAm Lit

Total Dealbreakers:
Aforementioned Jean M. Auel books
VC Andrews
Who Are You? (type psychoanalysis books)

So still, I believe the good outweighs the bad. At least in my definition of good. But can you imagine the reckless combination of these things all stirred into one large melting pot? Can you also imagine trying to justify "Secrets of the Morning" or "The Dummies Guide to Dating 101" to a potential roomate or dating prospect who prefers the gritty realism of the Grapes of Wrath? How will Moby Dick compare to Flowers in the Attic?

And then there is the blog. At what point do you introduce the person you are dating to the mindless thoughts you put out on the internet? Do you start to scrutinize the quality of your writing? Stop posting your Star Wars analysis or Start to use long forgotten SAT words? Or do you say fuckitall, if they don't like the way you think then they certainly aren't going to like the way I am in bed...etc. et al.?

Then I realized I met said writer at an all night diner while wearing a tiara and knee high patent leather platform boots.

And somehow, I don't think he'll actually give a rat's ass about my book collection.

The Force is strong with this one...

Hey Peeps! Today only - teefury.com is offering this gem of a shirtWhy yes, is IS Princess Leia dressed as Rosie the Riveter, and the shirt is only $9 + some change for shipping and handling. As of 9am today, the shirt is available for the next twelve hours...go get you some!

And this is why it is totally awesome but also not good for me to be on the interwebs all the time.

More stuff I am calling bullshit on.

Notice anything interesting here?
Why it's two pairs of jeans, both from Banana Republic. They're pretty much the same size right? The ones on top are from last year, the ones in the back are from this year. But wait - let's look closer shall we?Um, yes, these are two pairs of jeans that are IDENTICAL in physical/actual size, but have different size tags.

So last year, I got a paid of jeans from Banana Republic - because they were on sale and I wanted a "nice" pair of jeans. They ended up being bigger than I wanted them to be, and I always wear them belted (size 6). Well I recently went back to BR and tried to purchase a pair of jeans; imagine my surprise when I had to buy a size up. Figuring that I had gained weight over the last year, I just went with it - so imagine my surprise when I decided to size up the jeans against each other and they were the same.

Also interesting to note? This zipper on the new pair...I mean what is this zipper for? Will I be putting a special bit of change into this pocket that needs to be secured? I suppose I could carry a dime bag in this pocket, but it seems like a lot more manufacturing work to do for a two inch wide pocket. What's even more interesting is that the jeans are NOT symmetrical because the zipper does not exist on the opposite side. But again, what is this pocket for? It's also a strange size for a condom...maybe it's for your keys when you go out clubbing? But even those these jeans are cute, they're not super fancy or anything...

Even funnier was when I sized up my pair of size 6 Lucky jeans and they were a good two inches tighter around the waist than these pairs. See ladies...size really is JUST A NUMBER! Don't believe the hype.

Sleepyhead

A year in status updates from Facebook, I think the App is pretty neat. And the graphics are relatively classy. The only thing is that it draws only specific dates for the app - so you can't change any of them randomly. But I like the ones it ended up with.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Nerfherder...heh...

Bwahaha...this is some dude's 70 minute review of the Phantom Menace, hilarious.
This is just the first and last segments (watching Lucas geek about and try to justify his horrible decisions is pretty funny when you get the guy's commentary.



"Nothing in the Phantom Menace makes any sense at all. It comes off like a script written like an 8 year old."



via IO9

One of these things is not like the other...

randomness...

can you tell me what is wrong with this picture?On the left is a bar of soap that my aunt got me as a present for my birthday this year, on the right is my PHONE. They are both placed next to my laptop and on a graphed cutting mat for reference. The mat has a 1"x1" grid on it.

Um yeah, it is quite possibly the world's largest personal bar of soap. It is lemon scented with poppy seeds. Which means each morning I rinse my hands of traces of opium.
the soap gets the "bullshit" stamp from Snape.

Christmas Eve is tomorrow! Today is watching 1/2 Blood Prince Day!

big deal or no?

How do you guys deal with a passive-agressive, irritating co-worker?

Ok...most of the people at my new job are great, but there's one person (yep, that one person, AGAIN) who is getting on my nerves. Maybe I just need to ignore her; but she constantly is asking me to do things for her and then changing her mind. (Getting her kitchen supplies, reserving conference rooms THEN CHANGING HER MIND MIDSENTENCE) She's not even my supervisor - she's my co-worker. But she seems to excel at trying to make me feel like I'm not doing a good job. Like today, she stated, "Could I borrow a pen? We don't seem to have any." Ok...

a) I use (hang on to your pants kids) ONE pen - yes, with all the economic cutbacks this year, I've decided to try to stick to one pen as long as possible. I use this pen for everything. I'm not that person in the office that has six pens lying around.
b) we DO have pens. I bought an entire two boxes. They are on the supply shelf. As I got up to show her where the pens were on the supply shelf, she blew me off and went to her OWN desk to get her OWN pen.

I don't get this fucking entitlement that people seem to have when it comes to office supplies. And I certainly don't like having to be at anyone's beck and call when they're too lazy to look for supplies and then be blown off when they decide they're too good for me to show them where they actually are.

Sometimes it feels as if some people aren't happy unless they are trying to control other people.

And this feels like a no-win situation. Small, stupid and petty, but still ANNOYING.

Take that Diana Prince...

Bwhahah!!

You want karma bizzitches?
I'll give you some karma!!
Imma gonna sucka punch your chi
All the way to satayana!
-Crystal Brass Knuckles

"It is sort of a superhero tool/weapon. Most of my work is about engaging the body in some way. Calling the body to do something. My work embraces failure and fragility...though you won't know that seeing this piece." - Debra Baxter on her piece

via myloveforyou

BO2009 Challenge - Day 12

December 12 New food. (You’re now in love with Lebanese food and you didn’t even know what it was in January of this year.)

While I am not in love with Lebanese food, I did have some fairly sublime food experiences this year.

-Spit-roasted lamb at the Church of Lamb in Athens, Greece. Who ever knew that an open air restaurant situated on the side of a hill in a church courtyard would produce some of the most succulent, gut busting, tender, flavorful lamb ever? Delicious.

-The goat cheese stuffed beignets at Cafe Brioche in Palo Alto. More for the company than the actual fritters - they were still absolutely delicious and came out hot and runny in the middle. Yum.

-Greek salad; I became obsessed with a hearty, fresh salad of chunks of cucumbers, tomatoes, red onions and salty olives. Dressed with a little balsamic, parsley and olive oil, nothing made more a satisfying lunch. Especially with Berkeley Bowl sourced Lebanese cucumbers, heirloom tomatoes and kalamata olives.

-The horchata cupcake at El Metate. At a $1.00 for a mini they are just the right ratio of unctous cream cheese frosting with sweet cinnamon cake. The perfect little bite. Every time we are there, whether we are going for the superb Mexicana pressed torta or the chile verder burrito (yes), the cupcakes remain the constant. We have yet to try the alfajores (caramel sandwich cookies), but I can only imagine they will not be able to match the outstanding cupcakes.

BO2009 Challenge - Day 11

December 11 The best place. A coffee shop? A pub? A retreat center? A cubicle? A nook?

The best place of the year? Hmmm...this is slightly skewed, because of what I did this year. I would say for all those hot HOT days in May and July this year, my backyard became my writing haven. I spent a good 20+ hours in my backyard this year just writing. Sometimes grant proposals, sometimes blog entries and sometimes just random email.

After I found a beach chair that we used to use all the time, and hooked the laptop up to an extension cord - I was spending much much more time outside.

But nothing beats a shady grassy patch with a glass of iced tea, Rodrigo and Gabriela playing on the laptop and the sounds of the outdoors combined with the bomb wireless connection at my place. On a hot, lazy Sunday...nothing could be better.

BO2009 Challenge - Day 10

(so I'm going to do these in sort of weird, reverse order til I catch up - doing two or three a day-both the actual day and then one of the catch up days. word)
December 10 Album of the year. What’s rocking your world?

This is sort of a toss up. Lately, Train's latest album with 'Save Me San Francisco' and 'Hey Soul Sister' comes to mind because I keep coming back to it. It's groove, rock and soul all rolled into one. Pat's got a fantastic voice and of course, keeping it local is how you keep it real right?

The tracks are smooth and well mastered. I would like a little more acoustical grittiness on some of the tracks, but hey - can't complain. It makes me happy just listening to it.



But I also have to give props to the 'Glee' soundtrack. It's keeping me bouncing my way into work and downtown all at the same time. Lea Michele keeps on delivering the hits in her sultry yet pitch perfect Broadway tone. Matthew Morrison is my new crush and gives just enough attitude to songs like "Bust a Move" and "Golddigger" - the former LMNT member also can pour out a ballad like nobody's business. (see 'Alone' and the mash ups). With guest stars like Eve and Kristen Chenoweth (and rumored Idina Menzel), I'm only hoping that Broadway stars will have a new place to go besides Law and Order.



'In the Heights' also hit all the right notes for me this year. Cleanly urban yet with just the right hardness and cleverness of lyric, Lin-Manuel Miranda's tour de force brought Puerto Rico to a new light on Broadway and made me cry like a baby. I know it came out last year, but it was probably the one album that kept me going when I didn't want to go to work. Karen Olivo can belt with the best of them - and the family/countryman message at the heart of this musical will get you every time.

BO2009 Challenge - Day 7

December 7 Blog find of the year. That gem of a blog you can’t believe you didn’t know about until this year.

Quite honestly? I LOVE YES AND YES.

The writing is sweet and thoughtful. There is a good mix of cultural/artsy commentary, lifestyle advice and personal feedback. And the entries are short enough to make me feel like I didn't waste an entire hour reading them.

honorary mention (because I think I started following this tumblr in 2008)
One More Time with Feeling...honestly because Megan reblogs stuff like this..bwahahah!!

BO2009 Challenge - Day 4

December 4 Book. What book – fiction or non – touched you? Where were you when you read it? Have you bought and given away multiple copies?

This year? Probably Twyla Tharp's - the Creative Process or Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird. I referenced both copiously as I was reading them. Because I felt like they truly spoke to hidden parts of one's inner artist. Whether you're doing it from your living room couch or a 42nd street stage - everything in the books was taken from personal experience and then expanded into larger artistic purview. And neither woman expounded on failure or triumph exclusively. What both books made me remember was that "being an artist" is related to, but different than practising a craft.

Both Lamott and Tharp viewed their respective fields as crafts. You have to be patient. You have to be persistent. You have to have a pretty solid daily routine that you follow; and within that routine - you must constantly surprise yourself, update and change it. Both artists have goals that they then pursue organically. Lamott spent several years of her life trying to get her first book published. But she remembered to take the time to grow; she didn't keep trying everything that she had done before. She changed, she evolved and she got frustrated. Tharp, driven at a very young age started off as a dancer then got frustrated with limitations and turned to choreography to fulfill her artistic needs.

Both books are about seeking out behavioral patterns and self-awareness to have a better artistic experience. Both are incredibly amazing tomes

BO2009 Challenge - Day 2

Shortrib poutine with white cheddar at Salt House.

December 2 Restaurant moment. Share the best restaurant experience you had this year. Who was there? What made it amazing? What taste stands out in your mind?

The best restaurant moment I had this year was probably at Salt House for my birthday (read entire original post). All of the food was delicious and so well seasoned, and it was a quiet, intimate affair. We tried a lot of different things - all amazing. And well..it was my birthday!

The tastes that stand out in my mind were the braised shortrib stuffed ravioli that had me quietly bouncing and grooving in my seat and the buttery, rich pear bread pudding. I'm such a sucker for custardy, bready desserts - they're actually a lot like souffles if you think about it; just a tad heartier.

But of course it was amazing because it was my 30th.

the hallway

The Hallway from The Hallway on Vimeo.

Original installation: Miranda July
via JSquared


sort of neat right? sometimes i wonder if i am still in the hallway or do i have one foot out the door.

BO2009 Challenge!

Ooh ooh! The Best of 2009 Blog Challenge!

This is The Best of 2009 Blog Challenge. A challenge to get you reflecting on your year. 31 days, 31 prompts for writing. Starting December 1st.

How to participate:

1. Write on one or all thirty-one of the prompts for the month of December.

2. A post can be a sentence, photo or 3,000 word essay.

3. Link up your blog.

4. Tag your posts and photos #best09 on Twitter (click to view aggregate). Follow others sharing their stories from the year.

December 1st, 2009
Trip. What was your best trip in 2009?

A: Easy Peasy, Greece!Black Sand Beach, Santorini, Hellas

The food was delicious, the beaches gorgeous and wine country rivaled Napa.

12 sumo wrestlers maybe....

So Thanksgiving generally brings upon the rest of the family a kind of stupor (food coma combined with tryptophan sleepiness) - so about four of the cousins bombed out in front of the tv - where we managed to witness THIS

A horror of a recipe straight from the OG herself, Martha Stewart. Now, I've grown to love eggnog over the years, generally savoring the taste of the slightly custardy and tangy drink with nutmeg. Like a melted milkshake, I drink it straight from the store, sans alcohol. Or I get it in my latte at Starbucks. Apparently that is not how Martha Stewart rolls.
Why, yes Virginia, that IS 3 cups of Maker's Mark. Plus half a cup of light rum. Plus two cups of cognac. That she blends together with a giant pimped out whisk.

That she serves out of the world's biggest pimp cup that she got from an "antiques" sale.
And you wondered why Snoop would ever hang out with Martha. (you KNOW she was thinking, "I should have Snoop over for drinkizzles!")

Click the video to play

(ps. it's supposed to serve 12 - 12 sumo wrestlers maybe Martha!)
******************
Go big or go home - this article by Tim Feriss expounds on the idea of being strong and opinionated with a purpose. Something I've been thinking more about lately. Not being obnoxious or surly just to have an attitude, but not keeping my mouth shut just to keep the peace anymore.

Recently had an almost head on collision with another car in a really busy part of the city; while I was trying to catch my breath and slow my heart beat in reconciliation with almost having KILLED someone - (at this I fully accept responsibility, it was MY fault) the guys in the other car, leaned out of their window to flip me the double bird and scream the "f" word. Which I would have expected and even - to some extent - seen as a fair trade for nearly ending their lives. But after twenty seconds of screaming, the guys couldn't let it go. They stopped their car in the middle of a busy street in SF, blocking an additional lane of traffic and the turn path, to yell at me. Having already reversed my car into the street behind me; there really wasn't anywhere for me to go. So I did the only thing I could do: scream back.

Was it smart? Nope.
Was it the right thing to do? Hell no.
Did it feel good to release built up tension; scared, adrenaline pumped and on edge? YOU BET.

And believe me, nothing says, "Man, this is going to F*&$ up my night." like a 5'4" Asian banshee, with the wild eyes, going batshit crazy screaming obscenities and flipping you the double bird out of her 15 year old car and telling you to "JUST DRIVE MUTHAF&$#ERS!"

The article also quotes Colin Powell:

Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off.

Good leadership involves responsibility to the welfare of the group, which means that some people will get angry at your actions and decisions. It’s inevitable, if you’re honorable. Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity: you’ll avoid the tough decisions, you’ll avoid confronting the people who need to be confronted, and you’ll avoid offering differential rewards based on differential performance because some people might get upset.

Ironically, by procrastinating on the difficult choices, by trying not to get anyone mad, and by treating everyone equally “nicely” regardless of their contributions, you’ll simply ensure that the only people you’ll wind up angering are the most creative and productive people in the organization. (full presentation here)

The Benefits of Pissing People Off

So as much as I extoll the virtues and value of being kind - let us also remember to protect ourselves against the vices of human nature that tend to crop up under duress.

making pie

"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."

Grabbed this via Yes&Yes and Little Reminders of Love

have a wonderful day. I'll be thinking of you.

third wheel

Can we chat about something friends?

I don't like threesomes.

Incendiary as that statement is; seriously? I hate hanging out in groups of three. It always feel like someone feels they owe me face time, but don't really want to spend it with me. And it always seems that when I hang out in a group of three - there is always someone who is insistent on monopolizing all the time and attention. (usually not me) So it's not really a mutual exchange of time and affection, but really just another audience for them to engage.

Threes are really hard to accommodate; you can't really walk down the sidewalk in a trio, in a car - there's always one person stuck in the back. At a table; crowding three people into a table meant for two is hard - but putting them at a table meant for four leaves a lot of conspicuous space. When you see two men and a woman or two women and a guy - you're always wondering what the couple ratio is and who is the loser. It's easier for two people to walk down the same path and for that third person to find themselves left out.

To put it simply; in a trio - one person always finds themselves holding the short end of the stick.

Two people, by themselves, are naturally compelled (call it forced if you want to) to engage with one another. In a trio, it would be easy to ignore one person or pile the exclusive attention of two people on another. Why am I b*&%hing about this?

I asked Cher, who is not only a sweetiepie of a friend - but also a style maven (seriously, she should be on the Style Network 24-7) to help me pick out outfits for a upcoming headshot photo shoot. She's got a great eye and I love hanging out with her. It's also a good opportunity to pass on her belated birthday gift. And she just asked me if a mutual friend of ours could come along to the style session. The problem? Well, quite honestly, I only wanted to hang out with my friend. That's what it boils down to. Nothing against the mutual friend - but forreals? Just because Mutual knows me too doesn't mean she's automatically invited.

I don't know. Seems so high school - which has been a theme with me lately.

When hope was high and life worth living.

Here's a question: can you ever make a conscious decision to be less serious?

And where do we find the line between living life passionately and living life enjoying it? What's been driving me the last few weeks has been the intricate dance of decision and follow through that's come with being a producer. (stuff like: does this person get a free beer? how do we get rid of the fire chief? who died?!) Passion almost doesn't describe it. But putting my full intention and weight behind a show this good? Easy peasy. Encouraging people to see this show was like breathing; it seeped out of every pore and made its way into every conversation.

Sorry if you were annoyed. But not really.

More people needed to see Tommy. About two weeks before we opened, we sent letters with comps (that's right, FREE TICKETS) to artistic directors and casting agents and managing directors around the Bay Area - inviting them to come. This was my crazy brainchild; if even one of those people came, it would have been a success. But my reasons were clear and laid out - OPEN ARTISTIC DIALOGUE...let's all talk about how to make theater better.

What makes me happiest? Having two directors, three producer friends and a slew of other technical people all step forward and make it known that they wanted to take part in the next Ray of Light Show. THAT makes me excited; people always want to be a part of something good. People who want to come back - people who normally get a paycheck. Because this show was something no short of wonderful. The dancing, singing and acting, quite honestly, beats anything in the Bay Area I've seen lately. (to be fair, I haven't seen American Idiot yet) And this isn't just me, it was every reviewer and patron who came to see this show.

Cause, as cheesy as it sounds. I have a dream.

That people in the Bay Area will STOP HOLDING BACK. Stop letting themselves have limitations. Stop turning in a mediocre product and then wondering why they're 1 million dollars in the hole or have to lose a theater space. Stop letting go of wonderful actors to try to meet the bottom line. Cause what you have to understand is that your people ARE your bottom line. If you're doing your best to serve your artistic community (both performer and audience), then you're doing a good thing.

But I realized, yesterday while chatting with our Dance Captain at the cast party, that it was neither the time nor place to have this conversation. She's a snarky, snappy, cutie patootie of a babe that is more interested in partying than having a conversation about the future of the company.

But it's still what I dream.

Tryin' to get back in the groove

(photo credit: yes and yes)

Ahhh good morning, welcome to my walk of shame.

Ok...so it's not so much a walk of shame as much as the I-ate-2-and-1/2-slices-of-pizza-and-passed-out-in-a-leopard-snuggie-watching-the-Pixies-on-Conan-last-night-at-Jobear-and-Xxxmas'-apartment-after-the-show morning wake up call.

I think I've blogged about this before, but as I was walking to work the other morning from the coffee shop, feeling rather cute myself (deigned to put myself together - teal tights, knee high boots, grey dress, purple cardigan, gray fuzzy hat), I passed about 4 different women, including the woman who owns and runs the coffee shop - who were all EXTRAORDINARILY put together.

And I always need to remind myself; women do this constantly. Women are these wonderfully gorgeous creatures who always take the time NOT to look like shlebs. It's incredible. The world COULD be such an ugly place and women are the ones reminding us that it doesn't have to be. The coffee shop woman who always takes time to curl her hair (she's Asian, her hair don't do that nat'rally), put on makeup and has a teeny tiny waist accentuated by her super cute lime green cardigan and apron. She puts together a mean sandwich and is always incredibly friendly. Or the girl with the curly, crazy afro crossing the street; wearing jeans a blue top or the other woman toting her cup of coffee, huge black and white houndstooth coat and patent boots.

I think about my friend Cher; who is styling a photoshoot for me in two weeks - who always looks gorgeous in clothes from H&M and Target. Or GeishaGirl who just walks into the room in her hippie skirts and curly, curly locks and stops traffic. These are the people that exist in the world and they make it so visually interesting!

And it was just sort of weirdly amazing. On a greyish day in Portrero Hill; the ladies are like flowers. They're all so pretty! And so different! No wonder we give men a hard time, there's just a lot of shit to look at.

How could any one of us ever think that we weren't born to be fabulous?

It boggles the mind.

So wrong, but SO cute.

Gaaaahhhhhh! How friggin' cute is this baby?! I don't ever think you should eat your children, but AHHHHH!! So cute! I want to EAT YOU! (which is probably why your parents dressed you up as a delicious crustacean and put you into a stock pot)

so cute. must eat. (via MissionMission blog)
************************************
Amidst all the insanity of running the show and catching an evil case of H1N1 (yes really - someone in my office had it and my entire cast had it, I have a feeling that it's what I had) I scored myself a FULL TIME JOB!

Yay! So I'm back to full time and I couldn't be happier with the circumstances. Especially since I'm working with fellow actors. I think perhaps the only thing I'm going to miss about partial funemployement is how many comfy afternoons I got to spend with Kat and my long long walks on the beach in the middle of the day.

Even though I'm eternally grateful about the work (and accompanying health benefits), I hope I remember to take all of my lessons from this, admitedly, scary time. That cutting back and being honest about how much I make did more for my soul than spending. Material things don't mean as much as friends and spending time with others. Survival is incredibly easy, and my idea of comfort isn't a high end item, expensive dinner or fancy show - but it's a cup of tea and a good book, a movie or working, tirelessly on putting together a fantastic show.

Speaking of, we've been getting AMAZING reviews. I'm so proud of this show - and it just goes to show, the things in life that have meaning are beyond material comprehension. Whether they're completing a marathon, getting married or moving to a new city; the real, important parts of our lives don't involve a brand or a logo - they just involve you.

And to that end, I promise to start blogging more.

Kung Fu Bus Bash

Ok, so I know this not SUPPOSED to be funny per se, but it's HILARIOUS. And my entire cast has been watching it during tech week. The most awesome thing, after the Asian lady TOTALLY beats down on the African-American lady is the person going, "Stop it, stop it" repeatedly, but then who goes, "It's immature." (at around 1:50)

Um, you want to know why I don't ride the bus in SF? (the alternate title of this post had something to do with Rosa Parks, but I thought the better of it)

Crazee for NatNat (still)

The Natalie Portman obsession just continues. Look at this photo!! LOVE. I mean, can I just BE her?
(photo credit: Hedi Slimane)

Funny bunny of mine.

I cannot believe that THIS commercial made me crack up hysterically. I mean, I love electrocuting small fuzzy animals.

what is this world coming to when THESE sorts of things make me laugh at their absurdity?

***********
Amazing tip from the Interwebs, specifically Gala Darling (who always combines the best of her own personal girly punky funky style with all natural and healthy products), but I've been using 100% jojoba oil between my cleansing and moisturizer for the past two weeks (morning and night) and I've seen a really amazing difference. My skin is way softer and I feel like the consistency is so much better. I'd hate to say I'm glowing, but there really does seem to be a difference. I'm also using a lot less product; foundation and moisturizer because they spread easier and much more evenly over a smooth and slightly

The great thing? Even though I'm putting an oil on my skin, it doesn't feel greasy or make me feel like I need to pull out a blotting cloth. The concept is that the chemical make up of jojoba is close to that of the natural oils the human skin creates (sebum) so it balances the oil production because it tricks the skin into thinking it already has enough oil on it.

Try it! You don't use much at all (I've barely used an inch from the top of the bottle - which is actually the trick, you only use a LITTLE bit) and it's all natural, and for the size bottle I've shown, it's only about $14 - which is more than I can say for Creme de la Mer.

hand out

So I was all set to write a blog about what JK Rowling refers to as, "insufferable know-it-alls" and then, after today's events at service, changed my mind.

Do you guys feel that being solicited, while at church, is inappropriate?

I'm not talking about tithing. Or being asked for donations or an offering. I'm talking about straight up SOLICITING. Here's the details:

Chatting up our musical program director after service, I'm about to leave when I'm approached by the crazy lady. You know the one. She talks along during the prayers, sits by herself - doesn't always seem to be paying attention. Sleeps. Rocks back and forth, but in general seems pretty harmless. I've only ever seen her once, but our congregation is large enough that interacting with anybody is optional if you want it to be.

But apparently seemed to be my day of wearing the 'SUCKER!' sign on my forehead. She totally caught me off guard, half the time I couldn't even tell what she was saying. I heard something about either her or Jesus being crucified on a cross. I also heard about her giving her prayers and time to the Church for FREE. I mean, DUH lady. I hate to be all unspiritual, but DUH, we all give our prayers for free. Although, she does seem to have her personal elevator pitch down pat.

Anyhow, so after three minutes of being bombarded with information that I could barely hear I got all this, "Blah blah blah, can you give me a dollar for a cup of coffee or something? Because I have nothing and I'm giving my time to this church for free."

Wha? Ok, so first of all - that's the point of service. I mean we tithe, so in all honesty we give back to the Church what we can afford to give (hence my tithe of $4). We give instead of receiving. And it just felt dirty. Like she was playing on my guilt complex because I'm at church, so I'm supposed to be open and generous and abundant. Which translates to, "Well, it's just a dollar, who cares?" But I hate, HATE the feeling of being trapped or helpless. So the dilemma seems to be between being whole and healthy in my spirituality with healthy boundaries and feeling like I live in abundance and it's only a dollar. I also do not want to be a person who promotes this type of behavior or seen as encouraging it.

At the end of the exchange I just wanted to get out of there - had way too much to do today. But weigh in on this people. What would you have done or said in this situation? Bear in mind, this lady be CRAZY. She didn't even really hear what I was saying. I didn't straight up say no but I pulled a blank when it came to rebuffing her arguments gently. I feel like I come from a place of abundance (really, I counted my shoes once, remember?) and I'm used to being asked to be a giver.

Thoughts?

Anatomy of a gyro

Cheap food is always awesome. I could go into some random cultural diatribe about the amazing variety and intense quality of street food, but you know...that's been done. Still; quality food, simply cooked and quickly put together for a very small price? Is equivalent to the traveler's holy grail. Every country has it's prototype: in Japan it's takoyaki or onigiri, in France it's a crepe or merguez or waffle , in Mexico it's a taco, in Italy - there's nothing like a freshly pressed panino or un taglio (a slice) of pizza. But in Greece, the humble gyro reigns supreme.
In the States: gyros are almost always viewed as gross or an afterthought. They're what restaurants advertise with huge signs, but the end product doesn't ever match the photo. But in Greece, the end result is, well...one word: delicious.
Yes people, a European gyro is a wholly different creature. First of all, when you get one - it's a matter of less than a minute to have it sliced straight off the rotating meat grill and handed to you; warm, greasy and savory. A typical gyro starts with a soft, spongy pita that's thrown onto the grill and if you're lucky, UNDERNEATH the meat spiral. Then thin slices of the meat (contrary to popular opinion - only pork or chicken - not lamb, is used in Greek gyros. Because the first two are cheaper) are carved off the pre-stacked rotating log (see below)

And left to cook a little while longer on the hot surface underneath. Then the meat is piled into the pita, topped with slices of onion and tomato, a dollop of tzatiki (cucumber & yogurt sauce) and, AWESOMELY - french fries - popped into a paper cone and handed straight to the waiting customer.

Biting into the combination of savory meat - crusted, umami and lightly greasy from fat, spongy yet firm pita (so not the dry, airy crap in the States), crunchy french fries yet lightened with the tangy yogurt sauce and the fresh veggies - each gyro is great for a snack or even a meal. And our group of 8 went through 40 of them in about 6 days. Everywhere we went, the heavenly scent of the spinning grilled meat permeated the air, and they were almost always good. We would compare while traveling up and down the peninsula. Some were greasier, some more ample, chicken was always dryer than pork, gyros were always preferable to souvlaki (the grilled meatballs or chicken) and every now and then we had to request french fries. But they were the one consistency and one of the few things we, as an 8 person group, could agree upon.

The difference is really incomparable between the Greek gyro and the US gyro. There, gyros are ordered on a daily basis; so the meat is kept hot and spinning constantly. Making one is a quick affair; in the US - you're lucky if you get one within 10 minutes. The pita is probably the biggest difference; the only place that I've ever had pita as good was Kokkari Estiatorio. So my only recommendation for getting a good gyro? Go to Greece; the plane ticket is worth it.
*************
(two dresses, two tops: $35? Good day)

Church of Lamb...

Tips for travel:

-Don't travel with any other assholes than your own.
-Always bring some cash changed into the currency you will be using.
-Find out who snores, group them with other snorers.
-Speak up. If there's something you want to do, make sure it's clear.
-Understand that you're traveling, expect to pay a little more than usual for everything.
-Pack light. Lugging around huge bags isn't fun.
-Are you on vacation or on tour? Clarify before you leave.
-Take it easy, drink a lot of water, eat veggies.
-Bring a mini alarm clock and use it.
-Log your expenses
-Consult guidebooks by all means, but eat and drink where the locals do.

Getting older has meant, well, embracing age. And embracing my own particular tastes; especially when it comes to travel and personal rules of travel. One of my personal rules of travel is that I don't listen to guidebooks at all for restaurant recommendations. And yet on our first night in Athens, I found myself tripping across Monostiraki (where the Acropolis is) with our group, headed towards a restaurant 'famed' for its lamb chops. To the dismay of our "leader" (and my secret delight) the restaurant was closed. We floundered about for a bit until we found a bar with a group of really amazing locals outside.

One of the most luxurious things about traveling and the thing that we, as Americans, have come to take for granted, is how prevalent English has become world-wide. Cutely, one of the women outside the bar, when she found out we were starving, pointed left, leaned forward and said, "Go that way, about 600 meters, and you'll see a church. There is a restaurant in the courtyard of the church."

Whaaa??

Ok lady. We followed her directions up a suspiciously dark and leafy cobblestoned street, getting more and more wary by the moment, until we came across a well lit and pristine stone church and lo and behold...

Yes, there is a restaurant in the courtyard of the church. Run by an efficient and sort of owlish head waiter. But the air is thick with the smells of meat, clinking silverware and the redolence of the greenery surrounding the diners. Another really cool aspect of Mediterranean countries? How easily they accomodate large parties. When you walk into a restaurant in the Bay Area with more than 4 people, you can get a whole "deer-in-the-headlights" thing going. You walk into a Greek restaurant with 8 people and they go, "Oh, sure" and they're set up in thirty seconds flat.

Here we walked into a quietly lucious taverna filled with families, couples, business groups and locals. And the delicious smell of an open fire grill. Everywhere we looked, the tables were chock full of wonderful looking, simply plated and abundant food. And we couldn't wait to get down to business and order some. Thankfully, the menu - while basic was also translated into one line and in some case one word, English items. This was truly Greece at it's finest.

We managed to order a roughly chopped and well flavored Greek salad with tomatoes, cucumbers, olives and feta (a staple on this trip), an order of sauteed greens (we never quite found out what it was, but it was akin to watercress or spinach), savory and quite...soft sausage - which was a trend here, with fries and then the MAIN EVENT. 2 KILOS of lamb. Yes, that's right. This restaurant served grilled lamb chops and shoulders by the KILO. The boys were quite tickled and took it upon themselves to order 2 kilos of the most delicious, fresh, simply grilled (pepper, salt, a little rosemary) and lemon halves served on the side.
(the picture is from our subsequent last night visit where we, in true American fashion, ordered 3 kilos to stuff ourselves with alongside our bottle of Syrah laced Nemean wine) All of this was served alongside delicious grilled fresh bread.

I'm giving all of you guys an amazing secret of Athens; the Church of Lamb (or Ayios Athanasaious) is a little off the beaten path, but for kilos of grilled lamb at a wonderful price -take this one to heart. What an amazing way to be welcomed to Greece, where during 9 days we also feasted on: grilled fish, octopus, seafood filled pasta, baklava, skewers of chicken and souvlaki (meatballs), delicious fresh yogurt and tons, TONS of gyros. Tomorrow, I'll break down the anatomy of the gyro for you.

Yum. efhairisto.

Yas sas!

From Rick Steves' Europe Through the Back Door:

Globe-trotting destroys ethnocentricity. It helps you to understand and appreciate different cultures. Regrettably, there are forces in our socity that want you dumbed down for their convenience. Don't let it happen. Thoughtful travel engages you with the world- more important than ever thsese days. Travel chnages people. It broadens perspectives and teaches new ways to measure quality of life. Rather than fear the diversity on this planet, travelers celebrate it . Many travelers toss aside their hometown blinders. Their prized souvenirs are the strands of different cultures they decide to knit into their own character. The world is a cultural yarn shop and Back Door Travelers are weaving the ultimate tapestry. Join in!

I'm just back from the Aegean...enjoy this photo, it's good to be back.

*****
From GalaDarling: The Art of Nonconformity and HOW TO BE AWESOME! (cause you know, that should be your goal, like, everyday)

Emo Penny lives!

Today a client actually said to me , "You've made so much work for me to do next week."

Blame is the easiest game to play for some people in the world. It's so easy for them to put responsibility on others instead of themselves. Do I feel mad or upset? Not really, my client is also trying to organize her wedding next week. She's so stressed out, she almost cried. Do I feel guilty? Not at all. This Sunday I leave for my first real vacation in two years. I didn't plan these two events intentionally, it just happened to be when everyone else in my group was going. But the collision has potential to be traumatic.

What I didn't remind my client was that she was the one who wanted a business. She has set up her own business model with little room for flexibility or horizontal mobility. Her worth is determined by how much she micro-manages everyone else. I warned her, nearly two months ago, that I was leaving on vacation; her preparation for this time has been poor. For a minute I thought she actually wanted me to cancel my vacation; but in reality, she wanted someone to lay her stress on. In the past, it would have been easy to bear other's guilt. These days, to take care of the soul, others can just take their own stuff, I don't need it.

It's hard to not let things like this get to you. Mistakes hit me particularly hard; failure means something much deeper than just not achieving a specific goal - they mean that I'm a bad person. My current frustrations come from the fact that my personal expectations for the quality of my work means a lot. Maybe forgiving others also includes forgiving yourself for any sort of shortcomings.

I had dinner recently with my executive producer who told me, "Don't try to think of a specific job that you'd want to do. Think of the things you like to do - what makes you get up in the morning and then go from there."

So what makes you get up in the morning? What motivates you? Moves you? Scares you or defeats you?

Oh..and my computer is broken. Not cool. Instead, I have to think like a 16 year old again...one who is insanely talented maybe, but still a 16 year old. :)

come again?

In general terms, man is regarded as living in an unreal world of illusory values that he's imposed on himself. He's feeling his way by evolution back to God-realization and the illusion is broken away, bit by bit. You need the illusions until you reach very pure saintly states. When you lose all contact with your illusory state, you become totally dead-but totally aware. You've died for the last time. You don't incarnate again-you just blend. It's the realization of what we all intellectually know-universal consciousness-but it's no good to know until you can actually realize it.

Tommy's real self represents the aim-God and the illusory self with teacher; life, the way the path and all this.

-Pete Townsend on Tommy

Friggin' trippy man.

aint it lonely out there?

have you ever thought about how much of this world is based around being unhappy with what you have? How much of it is focused on always wanting more? the people who always want more are always lionized as being "forward thinking" or "ambitious" or "innovative". the people who don't are "backward" or "living in the past" or "lazy". so much of marketing and advertising is aimed at telling you not only do you not have enough, but it's bad if you think you are content. that wanting is more important than having.

desire for something else is great, but what happens at the end of the day when it's just not enough?

maybe it's not about wanting more, but wanting more of what's important. and at the end of the day, knowing and understanding what is enough of something. i love ice cream and yet, i don't want three gallons of it at one time. i don't really even want any right now. it's about having what you want when you need it and in just the right amount.

is it just as important to want as it is to NOT want?

i posit this only because I'm not sure i've ever known how to properly express what it is that i want. people ask me about things i want in life and i'm just not sure anymore. the tenacity of my youth has been overshadowed by the maturity of knowing when to throw in the towel for my own sanity. and i often wonder if people in my life know how much i want them there. because i've been disappointed before; it's made me jaded. if i tell my loved ones what i want...it just makes me vulnerable.

it's like marvin gaye says (or madonna/massiveattack). i want you / but i want you to want me too / just like i want you.

random awesomeness.

ahahah...these are from my co-producer/friend from Tommy. HI-LARIOUS. Almost as good as a state senator proclaiming, "Ma'am, what planet have you spent most of your life on?"

Random thoughts from people 25-35 years old..

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my damn neighborhood.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text I started at the last one.

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this. Ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

takin' it back.

I take it back, seems like the Universe likes me after all:


Let's say you're listening to your favorite band on a stereo system. There is a place between the two speakers where you will hear the two streams of music blend perfectly, exactly as the sound engineer intended. This place is called the sweet spot. If you play tennis or baseball, you know about another version of the term "sweet spot." It's the area on the racquet or the bat where you get best results when striking the ball. According to my astrological analysis, Taurus, this will be your ruling metaphor for the next three weeks. You have arrived at your very own sweet spot -- the embodiment of all that is melodious, graceful, delicious, aromatic, and effective.

************
How amazing is it to see a person in love?

No really.

Not Tom Cruise jumping on a couch "love" or passing notes in class "love" or holding hands and kissing at sunset "love". I'm talking about:

Driving someone to the hospital at 3am for emergency gall bladder surgery love.

Entertaining the hellacious mother-in-law love.

Foreclosing the house together love.

Being kind and bittersweet about closure during a breakup love.

The inside joke about flatulence love.

Doing the thing that demands that you stand up for yourself and your dignity love.

Doing the thing that scares you the most and demands that you give up ego and pride love.

I can't give you all details because it's meant to be a surprise. But when someone divulges the sweetest and most devoted part of his or her heart to you, it gives you faith that truth and YES, love exist in this world. Even for the those of us that happen to be currently brokenhearted.

When the road gets hard, and you can no longer see
Let my love send a spark...

When the dog bites, when the bee stings...

So some shit really makes me laugh, and this is one of them

This Is Why You're Fat Blog

Included in this week's finds are the McGangBang, which is a McChicken sandwiched in the middle of a double cheeseburger. HILARITY. It's the brainchild of dylan@eat.drink.&.be.merry and I'm not sure whether or not to be amused or appalled at the eating habits of people around the country. Certainly when I eat a dinner of roast beef, gravy, ho fun and asparagus (hey, don't hate) I feel like a lardass. Then I see what 6'8" linebackers eat and I don't feel SOOO bad.

muahah.