aint it lonely out there?

have you ever thought about how much of this world is based around being unhappy with what you have? How much of it is focused on always wanting more? the people who always want more are always lionized as being "forward thinking" or "ambitious" or "innovative". the people who don't are "backward" or "living in the past" or "lazy". so much of marketing and advertising is aimed at telling you not only do you not have enough, but it's bad if you think you are content. that wanting is more important than having.

desire for something else is great, but what happens at the end of the day when it's just not enough?

maybe it's not about wanting more, but wanting more of what's important. and at the end of the day, knowing and understanding what is enough of something. i love ice cream and yet, i don't want three gallons of it at one time. i don't really even want any right now. it's about having what you want when you need it and in just the right amount.

is it just as important to want as it is to NOT want?

i posit this only because I'm not sure i've ever known how to properly express what it is that i want. people ask me about things i want in life and i'm just not sure anymore. the tenacity of my youth has been overshadowed by the maturity of knowing when to throw in the towel for my own sanity. and i often wonder if people in my life know how much i want them there. because i've been disappointed before; it's made me jaded. if i tell my loved ones what i want...it just makes me vulnerable.

it's like marvin gaye says (or madonna/massiveattack). i want you / but i want you to want me too / just like i want you.