Awwww...

I can go to sleep happy now, one of my friends from voice class just posted this on her FB page:

CF: was just positively blown away by Alexis tonight when she sang Meadowlark! She was just beyond words-fantastic. I can't stop crying! It was so beautiful. I don't think anyone can sing it as amazing and beautifully as Alexis. Watching and hearing her was an experience that I can't and won't ever forget.

May we all hope to touch and inspire people in this many ways in our lives and live to hear the praise. Totally blessed and honored to reach out to others with what is the best part of my soul...

passing strange

Taurus: In the Broadway play, "Passing Strange", the narrator praises the healing power of mysterious songs, saying, "You know when the music goes right over your head, bypasses your mind, and strengthens the part of you that's most beautiful?" That's the kind of nourishment I encourage you to seek out in the coming week, Taurus. You need soul-toning experiences that elude your rational understanding - encounters with wise animals, waking dreams, unpredictable love, exotic music, and twilight whispers that blissfully boggle your imagination.

I so rarely enjoy my horoscope, mainly because a lot of astrologers seem to think that Taurii are the fuddy-duddy, fusspots of the zodiac. Pragmatic, sensible and homespun next to airy-fairy Gemini or Libra or mysterious Scorpio or the always fiery Leo. So when I get a good one, I often think of it as a boon.

***************
Had Girlie Night at Sens with Joolie tonight. Sometimes when you used to live with someone, you start to take them for granted and realized that the last time I had seen my friend was roughly 2 months prior. She had thrilling tales to tell from Comic-con and we shared some delicious happy hour eats. But also had a chance to talk about our ever evolving lives; growing older and more open, while so many of our peers are still playing it safe and cool on the bleachers. Ended up sharing my recent revelation:

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." Corinthians, Chapter 13, verse 11

This verse is not literally about hiding our toys or losing our sense of innocence, but rather about the growth beyond the emotional state of childhood. Paul is not talking about dolls and games, he is talking about anger, jealousy, cruelty, spite, judgment and all these childish emotions in which we lose ourselves, forget ourselves—hurt ourselves and others for no gain and much loss. (http://www.rahul.net/raithel/otfw/8childish.html)

How easy is it for all of us to walk around saying, "You hurt me. And I won't be hurt." Recently had someone say to me, after I confessed, "I went into it knowing that it could hurt."

"It will hurt."

The correction seemed shocking and yet, so true. Our relationships on Planet Earth WILL hurt, that is the only guarantee. And trying to find one that is not going to hurt us is impossible. Because we are ALL human and therefore subject to the human condition. Living life in black and white, while preferable to most - is simply unobtainable. We must live in the grey. We must accept that even Hitler had a girlfriend. No one is truly good or bad; as Joolie said, "Assume the positive intention."

Try to see with your heart, even when you don't agree with someone. Even if what they're saying or doing seems to be the worst, stupidest, most pigheaded thing they could do.

Sense with your heart, the intentions - the failures and the triumphs - of the human condition.

Paying taxes, flossing and a mini van.

And maybe one day...I'll learn to be a proper grown up.
via XKCD

This about sums it up.

That's what I appreciate about the men in my life -- their masculinity. Similarly, I doubt I fill a “one of the guys” role to any of them. A male friend is not a slightly hairier substitute girlfriend. If I want to get my nails done, I’ll call a lady. If I want to talk about motherhood, I’ll call another mom. My guy friends, on the other hand, will hang out for an entire evening and never once mention anything to do with feelings. If one of them forwards me an e-mail, there’s an 85 percent probability it involves "Star Wars" and zero chance it contains a quote from Maya Angelou. If a man I'm not sleeping with tells me I'm beautiful, I believe him. I have had guy friends gallantly toss me over a shoulder and carry me through big puddles. They have, when I've been blue, asked if I needed somebody’s ass kicked. My guy friends have never asked to split an appetizer because they were really trying to stay in the Zone, nor looked at me like I was a war criminal for ordering dessert. And while I’m no fan of sweeping gender generalizations, I will note anecdotally that if you’re the sort of woman who finds fart humor hilarious, you will never lack for male companionship.

-Salon article on, "Guy Friends Rule" - Mary Elizabeth Williams.

confession.

Interwebs, I have a confession.

I don't like the Office.

is that...you know...ok? to me, it's just the show that's on before I watch, 'My Boys'. somehow it seems sacrilege to admit that.

please don't judge me.

heirloom tomatoes make me go...

"If you wake up every morning believing that you lived a charmed lifestyle, then you are truly blessed." - me

Sitting in our sunroom, completely quiet except for my neighbor puttering around in his backyard, sipping morning chai and savoring a homemade breakfast...pizza (TJ's dough, a mix of dill havarti and asiago, fresh halved mini heirloom tomatoes and a fresh egg dropped on top)

Woke up today, naturally, quarter to seven. Stared at the wall, turned on PotterCast. Realized that this is the first time in seven months, that I've listened to PotterCast. Before, I was always stuck at a desk, so I really needed something to tie me there without constant trips to the bathroom or water fountain. Having my brain try to do two things at once: draft and listen intelligently to audio commentary, is what made me tick. Providing multiple distractions actually helps me get my work done better and why giving me a deadline and making me work under pressure is always beneficial.

I talk about these people as if I know them; Melissa Anelli, John Noe, Sue Upton and Frankie Franco - the hosts of Pottercast. (Thus cementing my geek status for life, who wants to date a dyed in the wool 12 year old living in a 30 year old's body geek?!) but listening to these people who are so obviously passionate about what they do, called to mind the simple truth. That finding your "calling" is what makes you excited and alive and no one, should EVER be made to feel bad about that. It's why I get a thrill out of coaching a student to her first lead or having my cousin see and hear me play Elphaba. Because I get that way too. When I see actors let go, fully inhabit their characters a little shiver goes through my spine. When a curtain goes up, dancers stretch then set, an orchestra tunes and the spot finds it's focus...

It's home.

Slowly have started to realize what makes me tick. It's the function of acting alive. I'm content to live the rest of my regular life drama free - but I am so so happy to be in the groove of a project or role. Where people are all moving together with the same flow. When you find someone whose brain jams along to the same wavelength as yours or complimentary/harmonically with it, these are the people you are in flow with. And you don't have to force it. You can meet someone and not have flow and have it be OK.

Being around and working with people who have passion is exhilarating. And making a project go, that's amazing. Seeing a final project come to fruition after you've been pushing and pushing or diligently chipping away at an idea, is fantastic. Listening to four people speak and analyze and dissect something they all found to be at the center of their lives. that brought them together and bonded them. Created work and purpose, makes me hope that the rest of my life I will have something like this. To be part of a team that is dedicated to making something work, brilliantly. Pottercast is not going to cure cancer, it's not going to create peace in the Middle East, but JK Rowling has done something that perhaps no president (here's hoping Obama), king, prince or guru has managed to do yet. Bring people together...using language and storytelling. She has created, in the tradition of Aesop, Grimm, the Apostles etc. great stories that are equivalent to myths.

See, according to Joseph Campbell, ancient myths were not just retelling of great tales. They were testaments to the ability and inspiration of the human spirit. They were meant to be teaching tools; that great things are possible. Heroes are people too, but they go through a transformation that makes them more than mortal - less than god. In this way, we bring ourselves, "closer to god". (NIN)

Sometimes when you hear a great symphonic work and there's some dissonance, it's interesting, for some people it's the best part - the part they could listen to over and over again. For other people it's the swelling of the strings, the clear bell tones from the French horns or the boisterous metallic sounds of the brass. Maybe it's that little piccolo. A symphony is a good example of how to make the world go round, with the Universal higher up as our conductor. Only problem is that there are always way too many people competing for the job. But it's why we have different orchestras.

You've got to find what makes you tick, whether it be making a ton of money or making lifelong connections. Finding a guru or finding true love. Creation or dissection. It's all in the world, it's what makes life beautiful.

My review of the HP Soundtrack up later...

I obey the law of gravity...

Late have I loved thee, O Beauty so ancient and so new; late have I loved thee! For behold, thou wert within me and I outside; and I sought thee outside and in my unloveliness fell upon these lovely things that thou has made. thou wert with me and I was not with thee. I was kept from thee by those things, yet had they not been in thee, they would not have been at all. Thou didst call and cry to me and break open my deafness;...I tasted thee, and now hunger and thirst for thee; thou didst touch me, and now I burn for thy peace - Saint Augustine.

When mystics use the word love, they use it very carefully, in the deeply spiritual sense, where to love is to know; to love is to act. If you really love, from the depths of your consciouness, that love gives you a native wisdom. you perceive the needs of others intuitively and clearly, with detachment from any personal desires; and you know how to act creatively to meet those needs, dexterously surmounting any obstacle that comes in the way. Such is the immense, driving power of love.

from 'Words to Live By' - Eknath Easwaran

I hate to see you cry Lying there in that position There's things you need to hear So turn off your tears and listen Pain throws you heart to the ground Love turns the whole thing around No, it won't all go the way, it should But I know the heart of life is good You know it's nothing new Bad news never had good timing Then the circle of your friends Will defend the silver lining Pain throws your heart to the ground Love turns the whole thing around No, it won't all go the way, it should But I know the heart of life is good (Whistle Interlude) Pain throws your heart to the ground Love turns the whole thing around Fear is a friend who's misunderstood But I know the heart of life is good

-The Heart of Life, John Mayer