not the boss of me.

Word to the wise - this is actor-ey thing, so feel free to disengage if you are not into actor-ey things. If you are into actor-ey things (SquirrelMonk, Jerrsika) feel free to weigh in on this topic.

Here is my two cents on actors giving other actors notes.

DON'T. Unless you're the director, musical director or stage manager...don't.

In Equity ie. Broadway and professional (ie. union shows) it is discouraged, nay grounds for penalization for other actors to be giving notes. Even if advice is requested, you must go through the proper channels. I got all this information from my friend and choreographer Amosing who worked on national tours and New York stages for years. She had an incident, where a fellow dancer had asked her for extra coaching to get through a particularly stressful routine. A stagehand or assistant saw them practicing together and alerted the authorities. The next day, both parties received a cease and desist note. From the stage manager.

Here is why - on a strictly professional level.

1) You do not know whether or not the note will be in line with the director's vision. Say someone tells you to modify blocking, maybe put your hand in front of your thigh instead of on your hip. Or move three beats before you were moving before. Well, you don't know if the director SPECIFICALLY told you to do that. There are things that people see from the audience that the actor never does. Ultimately, the director (and/or stage manager) is the authority. Just because one person thinks your move will make a piece better, it is up to the director to make that decision
2) Actors are sensitive people; you run the risk of making someone self-conscious of their performance and therefore intentionally or unintentionally sabotaging them.
3) As much as we would like to believe that people are good, there ARE people out there who feel like revenge or playing games is more fun than having a good show. Saboteurs are rampant especially in shows where competition runs high.
4) Giving people notes based upon audience opinion is ALWAYS dangerous. We cannot design all of our performances to cater to individual tastes. We must always veer in the direction of truth. And truth is different and individual to the actor.

On a personal basis, it's just arrogant. Who are you-as the actor-to be going around trying to backseat direct? It's manipulative and backhanded, even if meant to be helpful, it's confusing at best. Many actors-more than most, work extremely hard on their performances and find justifications for all of their choices, voice colors and blocking. For you, the watcher, to come in and impose your opinion is insulting to the intelligence of your fellow actor. Seriously, giving notes is akin to unsolicited advice - you need to keep your opinions like your asshole to yourself. You may see it as being helpful, but quite honestly, it just comes off as condescending.

I say this after receiving a note from a fellow cast member tonight, and not even her personally but her friend who saw the show on Saturday who said he couldn't hear a line of mine. Now, while I tried to take volume into consideration, what really concerned me is that
1) the cast member gave me the note in front of 7 other cast members
2) one opinionated actor chimed in with, "Yeah, well, this theater really swallows sound." after I questioned whether or not her friend could have misheard me or mistook me for someone else.

Now to her credit, Cast Member #1 DID ask me if I wanted the note. And initially I said, "Well, in professional theater, you really shouldn't be giving other people notes." and our OpinonatedMiss said, "Well, this isn't professional theater." and seriously?

WTF?

Just because we're in community theater doesn't mean we shouldn't work by professional rules. A lot of us are intending on pursuing more theater. I think OM just wanted to see me taken down a peg. Trust me, she's one of those types of people; she's definitely a founder of a Mean Girls Club in your area. And there are just those people who enjoy getting to see others insulted. Instead of building them up, they're constantly tearing them down in the name of their own self-esteem. It's why these days, when people are constantly sarcastic, unkind and unapologetic, I wonder about the state of their ego.

Listen, not to go about blaming people or whining about poor me, I just offer this public service message: IF you have a serious stage note to offer another actor, the PROPER way to do this is to TELL the director or stage manager. And then let THEM tell the actor. This saves everyone a lot of dignity and also time-especially if you happen to be wrong. Audience members will always have their own opinions, let them have them and take every comment from them with a grain of salt. Don't listen to critics, it is their job to be anal retentive. And if you MUST have an opinion, perhaps it is time for YOU to go into directing.

That's all, have a nice day!

Ethnical and Responsible Behavior for Theater Directors

ahah! Satirical article on topic: An Actor's Resolution

from MiraCosta College:
NOTES : Getting them: Always be gracious, even if you disagree. Say “Thank you” after the director gives you the note, or “May we speak about this later?” if you don’t understand or disagree. The note session is not therapy for your character, but rather a session of quick fixes for MANY elements of the show. Find time for you and the director to solve issues that affect you or your character only.

Giving them: NEVER, (Did you read that?) never give another Actor notes and never allow yourself to receive notes from another Actor. A response could be, “Thanks for your help, but I think it’s best we do this kind of thing through the Stage Manager or Director.” There is no room for flexibility here. Wouldn’t you resent it?

today my washer made me cry.

If you are human, which I'm presuming 99.9% of you are and not a total amnesiac (if in which case, get thee to a hospital, stat!), you will have had at least one song that reminds you of a person, place or time in your life. And a lot of people will have the same song remind them of completely separate times and definitely separate emotions. But if you are like me, you will often think that hearing a specific song on the radio - is a psychic message. Basically, it means that someone is thinking of you and sending it out there.

After reading, 'The Alchemist' about 5 years ago, I started to pay more attention to the things in my life that seemed to occur randomly. Coelho wrote about listening and noticing the omens that reoccur on a daily basis, because they can be keys to your destiny or opportunities that you have to recognize as such. And also that if you ignore your call, really seriously tragic things will happen to you. Which brings me to my confusing sign from god today.

On my way home from work, I turn on the radio and the first song to come up is Incubus', "Wish You Were Here" - which will forever be a song that makes me recall J. (since it's his favorite song) Prior to knowing J., the existence of this song had completely escaped me. But now it has a tendency to bring up nostalgic memories. The most poignant of which is the line, "And in this moment, I am happy." At this point, it has also been a month since I've heard hide or hair from the man. And it seems that this is the way our lives are going to be. Living in the same city, but running in completely separate lines. Directly afterwards, I switch stations and 'I'm Yours' from Jason Mraz comes on. Granted, this is currently a more popular song than the Incubus one- but it still reminds me of the dude who totally blew me off last weekend.

Seriously universe, what is this for? To let me know they're ok, that's great. To remind me of my futile efforts at romance? To make me upset? The universe has a horrid sense of humor that likes to gives you gifts like a wicked dictator. Not until you have completely denied yourself the existence of love/career/children/family/goodness...will it show up. It's like the universe is constantly playing a game of "Ironic, isn't it? You were WRONG."

and my washer made me cry today.
*********************************

Did anyone else watch that bastion of 90s cinema gold, "Three Ninjas" with Victor Wong and three hapa kids - not even full hapa! (full hapa...something is technically wrong with that statement) but like a quarter Chinese - which explains the completely blond kid..uh run on? But yeah, did you guys watch that movie? And remember when Grandpa Egg Shen tells the kids that a true ninja can walk into a room and identify 10 separate ways to kill a person? I remember once telling my dentist that; and mind you, I've known the man since I was about 6 or 7, and having him do a double take. But yes, even today, especially when I'm trying to pass the time - I'll figure out the different ways to kill people when I'm in a room.

Yes, it's morbid. But self-defense right?

later: my review of Coraline

why we need you.

I think what Elephant 6 meant for us is very simple: there’s something pure and infinite in you, that wants to come out of you, and can come out of no other person on the planet. That’s what you’ve got to share, and that’s as real and important as the fact that you’re alive. We were able, at a really young age, to somehow protect each other so we could feel that. The world at large, careerism, money, magazines, your parents, the people at the rock club in your town, other kids, nothing is going to give you that message, necessarily. In fact, most things are going to lead you away from it, sadly. Because humanity is really confused at the moment. But you wouldn’t exist if the universe didn’t need you. And any time I encounter something beautiful that came out of a human somewhere, that’s them, that’s their own soul. That’s just pure, whatever its physicality is, if the person can play piano, if they can’t play piano, if they’re tone deaf, whatever it is, if it’s pure, it hits you like a sledgehammer. It fills up your own soul, it makes you want to cry, it makes you glad you’re alive, it lets you come out of you. And that’s what we need: we desperately need you.
-Julian Koster

Stop the Fatassery!

i sort of wish it were still raining.
cause sleeping and snuggling is best when the rain comes down.

oh my lord, someone stop my fatassery PLEASE?!

Total count:

Friday/Saturday - random buffet items @ CCCT Gala, Dennys @ 2am. (Pancakes, hashbrowns, sausage, over easy eggs) GRANDSLAM! oh and hot chocolate. That is our musical director in the photo - wearing the napkin bib his gf, our director mocked him for wearing. Yes, he IS eating Moons Over My Hammy. With a knife and fork.

Saturday - jook and a sesame ball before leaving house, jook and apple soup upon arrival home

Sunday - (oh god) bacon, eggs and toast breakfast, potato leek soup @ CCCT, green onion pancake, wonton soup, eggroll, eggplant chicken and brown rice @ Yummy Chinese Food (that's the name of the restaurant, not a descriptive narrative)

but WAIT! it gets better

So I TOTALLY forgot that my new boss/advisor was treating us to dinner as a holiday thank you and I drove like a mad woman to Burlingame, and then had - petite filet mignon, mashed potatoes, crab dip + bread @ Kincaid's. On the same night. I am not proud of myself.

Monday - cereal and Emergen-C breakfast, a huge piroshki for lunch, leftover eggplant chicken for dinner.

I swear, this week is going to be all about moderation or not eating anything. Especially since I went for a fitting at Theatreworks today and could barely squeeze into one of the costumes - first of all it had a bustle and I think it was made for someone a might bit smaller than me -but still! Thank goodness everything else fit. Whew!

Do or do not, there is no try.

Sunday rings her siren song. of Patience.

When people tell you that there is all the time in the world, do you believe them? When you think yourself capable of living three lifetimes in the one that you're allotted and it is only limitations of time, space and possibly cash flow that hold you back, what are you afraid of? Maybe it is less the pondering and more the doing that is necessary.

Maybe I just need to make a lolcat or something.
And to stop making these blog posts so serious.

And so I found a state of mind
Where I could be speechless
I had to try it for a while
To figure out this feeling
This felt so right
Pull me upside down to a place
Where you've been waiting
How am I supposed to tell you how I feel
I need oxygen
-Oxygen, Colbie Caillat

Be good to your daughters too

Opening night was awesome, we ran into a couple of snags (dropped lines, tambourine shortage) but overall great. House was about 85% full and everyone who saw the show seemed to like it a lot.

Gala afterwards was fine, simple foods and cupcakes.

Ivey Room might be the most ghetto bar ever on San Pablo. There are CHICKS in there I wouldn't want to mess with. Luckily, it was moderately empty by the time the cast showed up - but we were the whitest group in there. I'm not kidding, we looked like we had gotten lost on the way to Marin or Livermore or something. Some shady stuff was also going down - mostly due to handsy guys who had had too many drinks, but nothing that I wouldn't expect at a normal bar.

Dennys in El Cerrito has the nicest waiters - who will serve you with a smile at 3am.

I got home at 4. And my stupid alarm went off.

Note to men: you cannot TEXT message someone you have a sort of date with on a Friday afternoon of OPENING NIGHT at 4;30 pm to tell them you can't come to the show because you are too tired from your work week. #1 - it is shady as hell (what you got another date?) and #2 TACKY and #3 rude. It's sort of the height of douchebaggery.
that is all I have to say.

Lost in Translation

“ The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you."
— Bill Murray, Lost in Translation (via spaceships)

As far as social trends go, there’s one lately that’s come to my attention but not necessarily in a good way. There’s been a slew of people out there who have come to coin their attitude/personality as “honest”. Speaking their minds, being cranky or using it as a method to “weed” out their real friends is considered a form of “honesty”. When all it is really, is an excuse to be rude. While I agree that censoring your speech shouldn’t really be an everyday habit that I’d encourage, I still think that social niceties – as time consuming as they may be – aren’t as out of place as one would think. I am all for honesty, the way I am all about whipped cream or porn. Everything in moderation.

There are people out there who interpret honesty and mean-spiritedness to be the same thing. The difference between honesty and malignancy is the level of a) how personal you get and b) how often you feel the need to express your opinion. I think about a lot of things in my head, but rarely if ever, unless asked to, do I spout off. And there are a lot of people out there, that – (hey! This is mean!) are self-involved divas, with a lack of understanding and an unwillingness to serve others. There REALLY is a difference between constructive criticism and just being an asshole. The funniest thing is when complete bitches consider themselves sensitive beings. Please, if you’re so sensitive, why do things that purposely put other people down?

Here are my recommendations:

• -Treat others as if they are as sensitive as you are. The sweetest thing someone said to me last night was an apology for having a private conference with a 9 year old. Seriously? If I am going to be offended by a 9 year old, there is something wrong with me. But it was such a generous apology and I found out they were actually plotting something fun. It was sweet.
• -Do unto others. Would you want others to comment negatively on your weight, job (or lack thereof), personality, relationship or personal choices? No? Perhaps rethink your own opinions on the matter. Especially sentences that begin with “My” “I think” etc.
• -For those of my loved ones who have rather loud voices, remember that treating someone as if their issues are confidential and private is always a better choice
• - Remember karma is a bitch. Comparing your personal beliefs, belongings or attributes to others may make you feel good in the moment, but also makes you seem insecure. As Margaret Thatcher once said, “If you have to tell someone you’re a lady, you’re not.”
• -Try not to spread negativity. It only breeds more.
• -Sometimes, it’s not about YOU. Our culture has started to breed a series of self-involved, arrogant and selfish individuals. What are you contributing to others? How are you serving? Instead of foisting your personal opinions on others. Remember to give. Ask, "Is there anything I can do to help?"
• -Listen more, interrupt less. I love to listen, because I learn more. Learning keeps my perspective fresh and open. Listening breeds generosity.

Honesty has it’s time and place. I am a firm believer in honesty. But I want the honesty that comes out of love and affection. The honesty that is born out of wanting to breed stronger, deeper relationships and not the insecure need to prove that you are somehow better than the other person. Temper your honesty with responsibility. When you are sure and strong in your position, you don’t need to prove anything to anyone.

From virtualaffirmations on honesty:

Finally I would like to remind you to be kind and to always bring your truth from a loving place. Too often I have seen truth used in other ways, used like a weapon, wielded self-righteously like a sword and causing misery and havoc to all around. If you have found your honesty and your truth, you will also have learnt many other spiritual tools to help you cope with some of the difficulties that arise when you confront it. Remember that many of those around you will not be equipped with these advantages, so tread carefully. Not lying is not the same as thrusting your truth on everyone around. Stay honest with yourself, be honest with others and always come from a loving place.