Lost in Translation

“ The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you."
— Bill Murray, Lost in Translation (via spaceships)

As far as social trends go, there’s one lately that’s come to my attention but not necessarily in a good way. There’s been a slew of people out there who have come to coin their attitude/personality as “honest”. Speaking their minds, being cranky or using it as a method to “weed” out their real friends is considered a form of “honesty”. When all it is really, is an excuse to be rude. While I agree that censoring your speech shouldn’t really be an everyday habit that I’d encourage, I still think that social niceties – as time consuming as they may be – aren’t as out of place as one would think. I am all for honesty, the way I am all about whipped cream or porn. Everything in moderation.

There are people out there who interpret honesty and mean-spiritedness to be the same thing. The difference between honesty and malignancy is the level of a) how personal you get and b) how often you feel the need to express your opinion. I think about a lot of things in my head, but rarely if ever, unless asked to, do I spout off. And there are a lot of people out there, that – (hey! This is mean!) are self-involved divas, with a lack of understanding and an unwillingness to serve others. There REALLY is a difference between constructive criticism and just being an asshole. The funniest thing is when complete bitches consider themselves sensitive beings. Please, if you’re so sensitive, why do things that purposely put other people down?

Here are my recommendations:

• -Treat others as if they are as sensitive as you are. The sweetest thing someone said to me last night was an apology for having a private conference with a 9 year old. Seriously? If I am going to be offended by a 9 year old, there is something wrong with me. But it was such a generous apology and I found out they were actually plotting something fun. It was sweet.
• -Do unto others. Would you want others to comment negatively on your weight, job (or lack thereof), personality, relationship or personal choices? No? Perhaps rethink your own opinions on the matter. Especially sentences that begin with “My” “I think” etc.
• -For those of my loved ones who have rather loud voices, remember that treating someone as if their issues are confidential and private is always a better choice
• - Remember karma is a bitch. Comparing your personal beliefs, belongings or attributes to others may make you feel good in the moment, but also makes you seem insecure. As Margaret Thatcher once said, “If you have to tell someone you’re a lady, you’re not.”
• -Try not to spread negativity. It only breeds more.
• -Sometimes, it’s not about YOU. Our culture has started to breed a series of self-involved, arrogant and selfish individuals. What are you contributing to others? How are you serving? Instead of foisting your personal opinions on others. Remember to give. Ask, "Is there anything I can do to help?"
• -Listen more, interrupt less. I love to listen, because I learn more. Learning keeps my perspective fresh and open. Listening breeds generosity.

Honesty has it’s time and place. I am a firm believer in honesty. But I want the honesty that comes out of love and affection. The honesty that is born out of wanting to breed stronger, deeper relationships and not the insecure need to prove that you are somehow better than the other person. Temper your honesty with responsibility. When you are sure and strong in your position, you don’t need to prove anything to anyone.

From virtualaffirmations on honesty:

Finally I would like to remind you to be kind and to always bring your truth from a loving place. Too often I have seen truth used in other ways, used like a weapon, wielded self-righteously like a sword and causing misery and havoc to all around. If you have found your honesty and your truth, you will also have learnt many other spiritual tools to help you cope with some of the difficulties that arise when you confront it. Remember that many of those around you will not be equipped with these advantages, so tread carefully. Not lying is not the same as thrusting your truth on everyone around. Stay honest with yourself, be honest with others and always come from a loving place.