I encourage you to make friends with this changing world and remember that the tearing away of the old structures that supported over-consumption and selfishness will make way for more mature, mutually supportive structures. Change is the great law of life—after we build this new structure, an even better one should emerge after that—never stopping to stagnate, as stagnation is the seat of deterioration.
-from Natalia Rose’s blog on The Necessity of Winter (via GalaDarling)
WE all have those defining moments, don’t we? Whether or not we choose to have them, voluntarily – the moments come when the lambs become lions, when the meek decide to invoke the earth rather than have it bestowed upon them. Sometimes, moments are as rushing as a waterfall, coming to us, thunderous, epic and destructive. And sometimes, they are quiet, eye of the storm decisions.
Today, I gave up part of my identity block and went to see a movie by myself. And marveled at the simplicity of walking into a theater, purchasing a ticket, sitting down in the darkness and feeling content. Not good or bad or superior or guilty…just content. See, I had always thought that attending the movies by yourself, was a one way ticket to being a card carrying member of Hermitland. That there was something shameful and sad about seeing someone on their own at the movies. And there has always been this inner frustration at dating people who do not like to see movies. I understand that you barely get to know someone while watching a film in the dark, that if you have a hard time sitting still or become disinterested – it’s hard to leave. To me, movie night is just a wonderfully quiet thing that two people can share; being with one another but not necessarily expending so much. And suddenly, this new found freedom of not having to check in with others about their availability to see something I really wanted to see became liberating. As was my choice of film.
Revolutionary Road is not one of those movies you should see if you enjoy being married. But it is a spectacular film. And not because Kate and Leo are fine actors (because I have never been a celebrity watcher, I have been an acting watcher), but because even though this movie is set in the 50s – the theme of hopeless emptiness still resonates.
And for that split second, when you realize that the Wheelers have truly bought into the idea of moving to France – they are free. Because they now have a common goal; something that has brought them together and unifies them. They have given themselves permission to live – with the only problem being is that life gets in the way. Maybe it’s because at this time in our American outlook, the crazy people aren’t really the crazy ones, they’re the ones railing against the many of us who refuse to embrace the adventure of becoming new. There are so many subtle temptations and easier paths to take and truly, it’s hard to know who to sympathize more with in the film. Winslet’s impulsively gorgeous and fiery April, or Leo’s more tempered and frightened Frank. So many times in my life, I’ve been a Frank. The person taking the safe road and not the scary one.
Mick LaSalle, critic for the SF Chronicle, suggested that people watch it twice, once through April’s eyes and once through Frank’s. Obviously, being female, my tendency was to watch it first through April’s. Unlike her rendition of Gondry’s Clementine, who in true manic pixie fashion still infuriates me as much as fascinates me, as April, Winslet’s desires, her push to resurface in the world and her eventual decline tore me up. I could feel her slowly starting to buy into the fact that she could accept living what many people still accept – a half life. But also being partially at fault for the root of the problem. Wanting and needing to feel alive, loving her husband – but also trapped by his slow succumbing to peer pressures. And the female exclusive torture of being made to choose between her own needs and a baby's. Many of her choices come from the desperation of a drug addicted person – trying to find a way to feel alive inside of a society that wanted to dictate your every motive. “Playing house.” Maybe, because like Winslet’s April, I saw in a young man, someone who was becoming a stifled soldier and I didn’t know what to do other than to leave him.
Every review of Revolutionary Road has painted DiCaprio’s character, Frank Wheeler, as a weak human study of a character – poised to fall and too willing to be led instead of leading. And still, I sympathized with him. Too often, people are encouraged by society to take the safe route and there is a fear that drives our decision making. Even Frank’s incessant need to talk things out with April, when all she wants is to be left alone with her thoughts points to his inherent insecurity. He needs to know what she’s thinking so that he can make decisions and control their relationship based upon bombarding her with his conversation. It is finally when he is recognized by his wife as being the man of the house that Frank’s potential shines through. He gives up sleeping with other women, he comes home early, his attitude is measured, protective and grounded. When she starts to immasculate him, both physically and emotionally, Frank turns abusive, desperate and childish. It bears some thinking as to how the relationships between men and women actually work, instead of how we go about thinking they SHOULD work.
The ending of the film is slightly predictable – but nonetheless poignant. And we go about thinking who died the better death? And how many of us are dying and not even dead yet? (btw, even if you hate Kate and Leo, go to see the film because of the incredible ensemble work by Michael Shannon, David Harbour, Kathryn Hahn and of course Kathy Bates – whose post-logue is absolutely hilarious) I walked around feeling absolutely hollow and changed at the end of the film, but it was a nice feeling. Truly.
“If being crazy means living life as it matters then I don’t care if we are completely insane. Do you?”
oh postnote? the fashion in the movie absolutely kills me, from April's poised perfection especially at the height of her new found freedom - the dresses with the little pleats, absolute fitted perfection were amazing. Kathryn Hahn's Millie always looks slightly unkepmt and messy compared to April's perfection. Bates is constantly in a nut brown or grey - like a clucking hen. And look at the grey dress with flowered applique pocket that Zoe Kazan (Elia's granddaughter) gets to wear in her second seduction scene with Leo. You will see knock offs of that dress at Anthropologie, I guarantee it. Also, the cinematographer should get an Oscar for his lighting affects, never have I seen sunlight so effectively wash out Kate Winslet.
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