30DLBL - Day 1

Well, just finished Task One of the 30DLBL...

In order to be fully participatory, I've decided to post all of my results on this blog. I'll probably be posting my quirky/funny/introspective/foodie stuff as well inbetween, so keep an eye out for those. I also realize that tech for 'Jerry Springer the Opera' starts this week. So gods be merciful and grant me: patience, good humor, rest, faith and hard work.

Part of the reason I decided to participate in Celestine's challenge is that one of my fatal flaws is follow through. I'll often start a task, hobby or chore with a great deal of enthusiasm only to have it dwindle days or even hours later. I've realized that a certain amount of accountability helps me work best. I've also realized my natural tendency to follow a strong and distinctly parental authority figure also keeps me on task. Time to change that. If I can't be disciplined by myself, then there's no way my dad's going to keep doing it for me.

Having a place where I can do a daily morning check in with tons of others participating helps. To read about today's task/topic go here. 30DLBL: Day 1 - Your Life Wheel

My results: (1 being lowest, 10 being highest)
Business/Career: 4
Finance/Wealth: 6.5
Health/Fitness: 8
Social/Friends: 10
Family: 5
Romance/Love: 1
Recreation/Fun: 9
Contribution: 2
Personal Growth: 8
Spiritual: 5

I based my self-scoring around some tangible facts. My Finance/Wealth score is higher than my career one for example because I can pay my rent, bills and also go out to eat in the same week and I don't have any debt. But my career such as it is, has stagnated. I'm not sure I feel enthusiastic about Finance in the same way I do Personnel Management or Production. Health/Fitness - I gave myself some snaps for taking up swimming in the last week. I will have to purchase a year round pass when the 7 Day Free trial is up.
Recreation/Fun and Social scored very high. I spend most evenings at rehearsal and when not there, at a class or dining out with friends. Katty and I almost got to play a round of badminton this weekend. As far as personal growth...well, it seems obvious that doing 30DLBL definitely falls into that category, but today was also spent listening to a free MIT lecture, reading a manifesto about changing the world and also writing two blog posts.

Family and Spiritual fell into pretty average areas, but I don't always feel compelled to see my family. Spirtually, I could be doing better. I haven't been to church in a while and I could start going again once this weekend of craziness is over.

But lets look at the low scores shall we?

Romance/Love: This one is pretty obvious. The 'Stache and I called it quits in April and since then I've been all quiet on the man front. Of course stepping straight into both 'Barnum' and 'Jerry(SpringertheOpera)' while great for helping me get over the hurt, aren't as conducive to actually dating. So the score here is pretty dang low; I have not been hit on, flirted with or even close to being asked out (unless we count the Nose...who is now in a relationship)

Contribution: This one is also fairly obvious. One of the things I admired about the 'Stache was his commitment to tutoring kids. For Bagel it was his dedication to his faith and doing things with his church, oh yeah, there was that whole curing cancer thing too. But not just in the guys I date. I admire so many of my friends for contributing time or money to good causes. Some of them do pro bono work or just spend time helping out. I feel very selfish in that many of the things I do, I do just for me.

Right now, reflecting on these is enough for me. I'm going to finish up with the Action Plan tomorrow morning. Sleep is a big part of me making up for some of the discrepancies on the wheel.

Night!

30DLBL...

Oh whoops! almost forgot - today is the first day of 30 days to live a better life via Celestine Chua's Personal Excellence Blog.

30DLBL - ok, already wrote my personal statement and the next step is to go home and conquer that Life Wheel
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But in related cool stuff:
How to Become a Better Writer (via the Creamy Middles) - article/blog written by actual literary agent. LOVE THIS!

ONLINE FREE COLLEGE COURSES @ MIT - Totes Awesome
MIT has free online course lecture notes and mp3s and streaming video of lectures! Why pay for an Ivy League education - get some of it online for free! (Yes, I am this much of a nerd)

Feeling and Imagination in Art/Science/Technology (Lecture Notes)
Management Communication for Undergraduates

Closet case.

The Visible Wardrobe - YES!! (courtesy of Already Pretty)

I am a firm believer in the visible wardrobe. (oh how I wish mine looked like that picture...sigh) Unlike the very wealthy or very lucky, I do not have the luxury of a walk in closet. But there is definitely a benefit to keeping everything wearable you own within visual range. Why?

-Even the best of us forgets what we have. So we end up wearing the same things over and over again, week after week. Thus craving variety, we'll go out shopping. Then load up our closets, forget what we own and start on the never ending cycle. Seeing what you own can often inform you as to what you DON'T have. Right now, I don't have a good lightweight jacket that works well in casual situations. I also do not have enough socks, way too many blue shirts and a dearth of blouses and blazers.

-What's easier? Grabbing a sweater or pair of pants hanging on a chair? Or digging through the back of your closet where the pants are tucked into a bin? Yeah...

-Having a visible wardrobe doesn't mean that you put everything out in the open, but by glancing quickly at a drawer or shelf, it helps organize you faster and better and gets you dressed more quickly. Leaving you time to style your hair or get to your party faster.

Think of it as the difference between shopping at Forever 21 and shopping at the Gap. (or Uniqlo) Forever 21 is "forever" (ahah, puntastic) styling mannequins with items that are not immediately around it, forcing the shopper to search high and lo for an item on display. (hoping to entice you to buy more) Forever 21 also crams each of its racks and sections with a myriad of different choices. Disorientating and forcing a curious shopper to regard each one. Nothing is displayed by color or type, but rather as "style" so all of the "party dresses" are in the same area. Casual shirts, work shirts, party shirts, and t-shirts are all displayed by what "genre" of person you are.

At the Gap - all of the t-shirts of the same style are arranged together, color coded by size. It's easy to find a blue, v-neck, tshirt at the Gap. It also goes without saying that someone stepping into the Gap is looking for simple, American casual basics. But shop at Forever 21? You'd better be a slightly schitzophrenic, genre based shopper. Who are you trying to be today? Punk? Grunge? Flower Child? Executive? If you're OCD, you probably need to shop at the Gap. Forever 21 might send you to the Funny Farm. So do you want to spend 3 hours getting ready or just 10 minutes?

-Believe it or not, a well organized shelf can act as a piece of room decor. I love looking over at my shirts and seeing items arranged by color. I also have my necklaces hanging from thumbtacks on a cork board. Guaranteed, these are the necklaces that get the most wear. It makes me really happy and feeling like I'm organized and efficient. On the other end of the spectrum, seeing a messy shelf with shirts spilling out reminds me to stop and take a minute to regroup.

-Visibility doesn't just go for clothes or shoes. I recently rescued a discarded rolly cart with clear plastic drawers with tops that snap closed and filled it with art supplies. Now I can see a lifetime's worth of pastels, watercolors, colored pencils and tools that remind me that an artistic sensibility deserves to be used.

-But Pen, you ask, how do I keep EVERYTHING within visual range? Well, I mean, do it sensibly. I have a dresser, a shelf, a closet and large, clear (important) plastic bins for my skirts, party tops and some scarves. As mentioned before, necklaces are hung out in the open on thumbtacks. Drawers are organized by color, mostly.

I am also a firm believer in a bi-yearly closet purge. I generally try to do it once a quarter. Not only is this good for really discarding items are taking up space, that don't fit you or your lifestyle any longer or could go to a new home; but it's also good for the soul. Admit it, getting rid of things leaves you less tied to the earth, a little freer. A lot of artists prefer to work in huge loft spaces - not because they're trendy (ok, well, they are trendy) but because having a lot of open space gives your creative edge room to grow and stretch. Try clearing your desk or workspace of everything. Put it on the floor or the bed. Then slowly, only start to replace the things that you use. The rest, put away in a box or garbage can until they're needed.

Uovo Amore

Oh the plethora of self love on the interwebs is amazing! We oftentimes don't spend as much time loving ourselves as criticizing ourselves. Our lives center around improvement and getting ahead. But then, who knows you better than yourself? Where is your internal "Snaps Cup"? When you stop to really, REALLY look at your life, at the end of the day you want to be able to go to bed and say.

"You did good today. And you'll do better tomorrow."

I'm not talking about building yourself up in order to prep for something hard ahead like an interview or review or opening night. I'm talking about a genuine contentment, for being something great. Have you ever noticed that the things you do the best are NOT the things you never set out to do in order to BECOME something? Many times, the things you are good at are the things that you LIKE to do. And you naturally become good at them, not because you set out to be great; but being more knowledgeable made it more fun for you.

Some of the best writing I've found recently on the web on the topic of self-love:
Already Pretty's Case for Self Love

People love you. They do, and they always will. But in the end, you must be your own champion. The only person who can truly teach the world about your marvelous, sensual, graceful, unique, lovely, and undeniably beautiful self is YOU. When you believe you’re beautiful, the world believes right along with you.
Loving yourself is hard. It’s work. It’s never-ending and there are a thousand forces working against your success. But believe me when I say it is worth the effort. You are worth the effort. Put that effort forth and you will be dazzled by the world of opportunity that unfolds before you.

And Gala Darlings' Stop the Madness!

Until we can all learn to accept & EMBRACE our bodies as the FLAWED MIRACLES that they are, this nonsense will continue. As long as you buy tabloids which speculate about celebrity weight gain or loss, we are all suckers. As long as you participate in “body snark”, discuss the appearance of other people, or give a crap about what size pants you wear, you are totally & 100% buying into it!
The bottom line: if you don’t let people know that their behaviour won’t be tolerated, nothing will change. Set an example! It’s easy to say you’ll do these things, but when you step away from your computer, will you make those changes in the real world? I’m going to start right now.

Radical self-hate is bullshit, & standing by & being a silent witness to it is almost as bad.

So get to know yourself. Really dig in there. Remember when Julia Roberts in "Runaway Bride" would change her egg preference based upon the man she was dating? And she finally sat down with a bunch of different eggs to figure out how she actually liked them? I think a lot of us are constantly caught up in this swing. As an actor, I'm asked to play a lot of different roles, so it behooves me to be flexible. But in real life, we are most drawn to the others around us that make genuine, sure choices.

How do you like your eggs?

my life is never boring.

I'm finding it interesting that I have to reconcile the fact that I am performing in "Jerry Springer - the Opera" in September/October and my uncle just liked:

JESUS IS LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if you know this is true press like. :) on ♥.

on Facebook. BTW, his son is my cousin who is currently engaged to a transgender woman (born a man) currently going through the hormone/surgery process to become fully transexual. And my uncle is the black sheep of our California liberal family.

my life...is never boring.

The view from here.

Alright, enough Debbie Downer for now. The new greatest thing is not to bitch about my issues, but find out a way to deal with them and even to make them (gasp!) pleasurable or at least learning experiences. After all...it's just work.

Modern American society tells us to value work and to constantly be wracking our brains about our jobs - even when the day is over. It's no wonder that our focus has turned from our family and community to our jobs. And why places like Google thrive - they have essentially tapped into the human need for family by creating it at work. Now, if you work at huge megaplexes like Pixar (which I love, don't get me wrong) or Google, you never even have a need to leave work. You can do everything short of getting a good night's sleep at work. Conglomerates find it an essential part of overall planning to provide: gyms, childcare, healthy nutritious affordable food, and transportation as well as retirement and health plans. It takes us back to the days when your father was a carpenter, so you were a carpenter and therefore your children would be carpenters. This artificial fabrication of family is our modern American kibbutz; these days woe to the person who does not socialize with their co-workers outside the office and fie on anyone who treats the work day as a work day.

It's no wonder that people sometimes go postal when they get laid off or fired. I mean, you might as well have disowned them Don Corleone style. This can also make many office events feel contrived and geared towards creating connection - or as the 'Stache used to call it, "mandated fun, wheee!"

Via my galpal Elly: from the Worry Isn't Work (Harvard Business Blog)

What does re-thinking mean in this case? Start thinking of being hard on yourself as being irresponsible. Start thinking of wasting half of your brain power on fantasies about your own destruction as self-indulgent. Conflate self-negativity with laziness. Start thinking of time for yourself as being responsible. Start thinking of a healthy mid-day meal as essential to your productivity, time away from your desk as productive.

How much time do you spend thinking about work - even outside of work? And how much do we commend others around us for spending more time working. Often times, our relaxation and refresh time is just as important as working time. These days, working isn't about working longer or even harder- that much has been proven true - it's about working better.

Work bitches, work.

paper cuts.

Can somebody please, PLEASE teach me how to like filing?

I hate filing with a passion. Because it's a ridiculously tedious amount of work (PDF/hard copies/email/signatures) for something that does not gain any recognition nor does it give me any personal pleasure. Because there is always more. And it can be physically grueling. And anal retentive. And degrading. Nobody finds any value in filing, until you can't find something.

I hate filing. I hate it so much. I hate it more than washing dishes. I wish we could just hire a filing clerk.

Paper cuts.