Still out and about and recovering from my company's Annual All-Hands Meetings last week. I have to give myself and my peeps for organizing a delicious meal at Foreign Cinema (which is amazing) and getting through the week without killing anyone.
Too many of us are walking around in our daily lives pretending and hiding from our inner lights. I'm sure the blogosphere is overrun with the retreads of "Asian culture = humility, modesty and denial of accomplishments" While American culture is rife with self-promotion and bolstering up achievements. Too much self-esteem leads to arrogance and disregard for others, too little leads to a sorry sense of depression. There has to be some sort of medium ground. I believe that all achievements are tempered with gratitude and generosity.
Give thankfully. Receive thankfully.
To me, the best people are not those that step on others, interrupt conversations or disparage the people around them. The people who use their incentives of "getting ahead" to justify the worst human actions. The best people are the ones that ask questions, that are constantly willing to grow, who are gracious and kind and fair to the people around them.
“ Insensitivity makes arrogance ugly; empathy is what makes humility beautiful." — Renford Reese, Ph.D
One of the best things I've ever told myself was, "You're not crazy." That revelation was the lead up to just one of the reawakenings I've had in my life. I'm sure a ton of kids with Asian parents can relate. That moment when you decided to stop living their insecurities and started to live your own life. When their opinions became "just" their thoughts, and not your doctrine.
The moment when you decided to be different. Be different today. If not for yourself, then for your children. Or someone who needs you. Or for the inner peace that you'll attain.
Ever notice how easy things are when you have a friend? And how easy it is to complete tasks or reach goals when you work together? Selfishness, while touted and hailed by objectivists and business people alike, doesn't work in the grand scheme of things. Sure you have the most toys, and then what? Webster's also quotes "cooperation" as mutually beneficial interaction. You never have to view cooperation as only benefiting one party. So when you're helping someone, think of all the different ways you could be helping yourself. Only small minded people who don't take sight of the larger goal reap the benefits of pure selfishness.
Wooden's quote: "Have utmost concern for what's right rather than who's right."
Do you ever realize how much your personal feelings about someone will affect your reaction to their decisions? Even though that decision could be one that is highly appropriate or effective considering the situation?
This week's challenge. Listen honestly and as objectively as possible to the people around you, especially the people you don't generally like, respect or answer to.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Be back soon, just going to the copy store... (the below via unicornology)
"We need hard working people with excellent work ethics. I’m not sure I’m aware of a group of people who work harder than design students. We need individuals comfortable with ambiguity. We need people who can simplify complex ideas, without watering them down, and transform intimidating data to approachable information. We need people who can tell a good story to soften hardened ears. We need individuals who have a knack for stepping back from everything and recognizing patterns in the big picture. The best designers do all of these every day, and these are the skills you’ve been polishing (hopefully) in school.
The tools of creation are widely available: they’re out there for almost everyone. If you figure out what better is, you don’t have to wait for someone to enable you. You can make it yourself, or with the help of like-minded people. Better is about more than typefaces, composition and color. It’s about planning action and moving. Better is about change and recognizing potential. This world can be better. And we can make it that way. The world is not yet done."
Loyalty: "Be true to yourself. Be true to those you lead."
loy·al·ty /ˈlɔɪəlti/ Show Spelled[loi-uhl-tee] Show IPA –noun, plural -ties. 1.the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations. 2.faithful adherence to a sovereign, government, leader, cause, etc. 3.an example or instance of faithfulness, adherence, or the like: a man with fierce loyalties.
In these quickly changing times, we've shown little to no deference or care for others. Look around you, do you see yourself or the masses taking consideration for others? Haste makes waste, and in this culture of bigger, better, FASTER taking the lead in the name of competition - we often forget and disregard the people who can't keep up.
And for what?
To have more time.
But time to do what? Spend more hours surfing the internet, watching television or shopping?
Loyalty to a cause, whether it be a team, family, business or network of friends is worthy of your time. We tend to drop people or jobs or spouses at at every opportune moment. We call in sick or show up late, because the culture of big business has shown us that they'll abuse every opportunity. But think about the businesses that have made it big.
Loyalty, to some, shows a lack of killer instinct. Outdated. Ancient. I say that it is a long-forgotten, respectful trait that shows more about the character of a person, friend, employee or lover than quite possibly anything else. While not often pointed out, that friend that you can always count on in the middle of the night means more to me than any flash in the pan with money or false friends. Someone you can count on, rely on to support you in any instance - someone that can give you the opportunity to pursue something else because they've got your back? Priceless.
Let's look at Facebook for example. Four years ago, in 2006 - Yahoo made a bid to merge with Facebook. They wanted to add the popular social network to their properties, and in doing so gaining a ton of users, ISP addresses and value to their already huge network. But founder and CEO, Mark Zuckerberg refused. Call it foresight, or call it greed, but today Facebook is an enormous machine and Zuckerberg is a billionaire.
All because he believed in a product and an idea.
From personal experience, the Facebook team has some of the most stringent and tight security around personal identity. Few applications ever earn the Facebook stamp of approval and their team works constantly to close loopholes and limit public information used by advertising. All in the name of customer loyalty. Zuckerberg and the other Facebook investors could have taken the easy road; accepted the cash and ran to private Caribbean islands. But they didn't. They know that the only reason their social networking site has survived the Friendster/MySpace/Bebo counter culure crash because it realized its core customer, the average user, had to come before big business and before advertising dollars. Making Facebook the Ivory Tower Business model of the Millenium Interwebs.
Tons of stories have emerged in the recent year about Zuckerberg. He is not a "nice" man. He is a defensive man. Probably arrogant, definitely intelligent. Doesn't blink during interviews. And yet, he has had the same girlfriend since college. Wears the same grey hoodie day in and day out. Could care less about the worldly trappings his money could afford him than the lack of distrations he possesses. His life, is pretty much the small circle he keeps around him whom he trusts implicitly and then his work.
And did you know it's impossible to block Zuckerberg from your friends list? True story.
3. Call Yourself a Teacher
What do you call yourself on a regular basis? Daughter? Friend? Co-worker?
When you call yourself a teacher, what does that mean to you?
Accountability: you are now responsible for someone else's education. You have the charge of guiding someone without knowledge into a field or study where they will learn what you know.
Humility: you will learn things that you don't know through your students whom you think do not know
Responsibility: you will have to learn to reap the consequences of what you will teach your students
Confidence: in order to teach, you must feel secure in your skills and knowledge
Diligence: you cannot submit to teaching a lesson once. As a wise person once said, "A teacher is someone who says one thing, many times."
Wisdom: not just knowledge but the insight to read others, to know when is the right time to learn and how your students learn best. Some by study, some by experience.
Today's Building Block of the Pyramid of Success : Friendship
Wooden's quote: "Strive to build a team filled with camaraderie and respect: comrades in arms." When we go through life, it is most often our peers that we feel the closest to. They are the people we mostly closely relate to, the ones who we share things in common with. They may come from different backgrounds and even be of different ages - but they have fundamental element that we must learn from and also who we can teach. The friends we keep are the ones that grow with us, and the best way to grow is to create things together.
We want to know that our team has our back. And that each one is doing their best to bolster the other and tell them right from wrong. They are the people that know us best; the ones who know when we're tired and the ones who know when we still have some fight left inside of us. There is a reason a battalion of soldiers will feel closer to the guys in their unit; sometimes more than to their wives, children or families. A shared experience, knowing that people will protect you and challenge you - no matter what is a level of accountability not many people share with each other. Make it your job to bolster and hold friends accountable, comfort and laugh with them and support them with love....
Leadership Lesson:Love is the most powerful four letter word
We use so many four letter words in every day life; four letter words are considered the strongest verbal and linguistic expression that human beings having. The next level would be a scream or a yell. It is pure emotion expressed in a single sound. Anger. Frustration. Triumph. Every cell in your body vibrates and is senses are heightened when you curse. It is a way of using sound to project your feelings.
It's been a crazy week; rain has been creating a bit of office cabin fever. Two layoffs of two great friends in two days. Needless to say, I am going to miss the both of them a lot. They added so much to my personal team. And yet...it all moves. Forward. There's no use in just sitting around or ruminating on the past. There is only a thrust forward, to keep going.
I recently described my job to Heck as: being nosy, gossipy and scatterbrained.
No really, being an office manager doesn't mean being focused on one task, it's about being hyper aware of all the little things going on in your peripheral environment. As Suezq used to way, "Penny has big ears." which meant that even though I was working on something, I could always pick up on the conversations going on around me. This was a pretty useful trait to pick up when I was a kid. It meant that I could read in relative solitude, until called upon to do something else like answer a math problem. Gossip and asking investigative questioning leads to the real reasons behind something or can help you pick up on larger social cues.
I'm not encouraging gossip; in fact I'm not a huge fan. But sometimes, a rumor can actually lead someone to be curious enough to find out the truth.
So naturally, when I'm crossing the suite to get the answer to a question or for a meeting, I'll often run across things that peak my interest. For the last month or so, my co-worker QoA has had this diagram up on his screen as his wallpaper: Finally got around to asking him about it today. And it turns out it's this: the Pyramid of Success by legendary UCLA basketball coach (he coached Kareem Abdul-Jabbar), John Wooden.
"The Pyramid contains fifteen habits that Mr. Wooden's players developed through daily basketball practice. The foundation is "industriousness," then "friendship, loyalty, cooperation, and enthusiasm;" in short, the foundation of the Pyramid is the knowledge that life, like basketball, is a team game. "The main ingredient in stardom," Mr. Wooden told his players, "is the rest of the team."
The pyramid of success that Wooden created, became not only a mantra and base on which to build great teams, it also became the basis for Wooden's secondary role as lifecoach to the many athletes that came within his radius. And I started to think, just like any great sports team, a great company should play by the same rules. And any great relationship that you want to have and grow into something that goes out there and does something fantastic. But what do each of the blocks of the pyramid mean and additionally, each of the 12 lessons of leadership?
So more as of an exercise for myself, I've decided for the next 15 days to look at each of Wooden's principles and try to lay them out as lessons for work, family and everyday life (who knows if I'll be successful, it's just an experiement)
Today's Building Block of the Pyramid of Sucess (yes, I really did say that): Industriousness
Initially I was thrown by this one. I mean, when I think industriousness, I think just work. Continuous, non stop work. Being the ant and putting away little grains of rice day after day instead of playing like the grasshopper. But what industriousness also relates to, I believe, is a consistency of habit.
Q: What is industriousness? A: in·dus·tri·ous(n-dstr-s)
adj.
1. Assiduous in work or study; diligent. See Synonyms at busy.
2. Obsolete Skillful; clever.
also:
industriousness - persevering determination to perform a task; "his diligence won him quick promotions"; "frugality and industry are still regarded as virtues"
determination, purpose - the quality of being determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose; "his determination showed in his every movement"; "he is a man of purpose"
Too often during my day, I'll catch myself creating diversions that impede my industriousness: logging into blogs, shopping sites, Facebook and email. The beautiful thing about my current position is that I've nurtured my role into something that is almost completly independent. I am rarely waiting on anyone else to fulfill the tasks that I need to do, which means - gratefully - I get to pursue them at my own pace. Now, there are definitely a lot of them, but I've gotten to the point where I've been able to prioritize as long as I don't succumb to distrations.
One of the best, elementary habits I've found to fostering my industriousness is just keeping a list. Sometimes, when I'm overwhelmed, I'll lock myself into a conference room for 20 minutes or so, not look at email or anything else, and just LIST out the tasks I have to or want to accomplish that day.
Another key to industriousness, constantly reminding oneself that there are other things to be done. Taking breaks is fantastic in theory, but in order for those breaks to be well earned, actual work has to be done as well.
Don't be afraid to turn on the busy sign on your work IM or ignore emails/texts for an hour or so. Something that in theory is "high importance" rarely has to be responded to immediately. People are often enough away from their desks to have items that are delivered
At the end of the day, don't be afraid to somehow count up all your accomplishments for the day as well. Taking stock of what you've done is just as important as tallying up all the things to be done. And will let you end the day on a high note.
Leadership Lesson:Good values attract good people.
When I joined my current company, my friend and supervisor told me, "You know, even though I think it's cheesy, I live by this mantra. I am constantly striving for excellence."
Even though I wasn't sure, at the time, I could relate - the fact that Knapster could be so open and candid about how she views her life and role really stuck with me. She's been a great model to follow at work; thoughtful, organized, detailed, doesn't take things personally and gratefully, direct. Even though I feel I have my own take on how I handle office management (which has a tendency to be more sassy/snappy/snarky), it's a constant reminder of an ideal to hold myself up to. And her good influence has rubbed off on me.
In life, one should hope to meet the people that make them want to be a better person. I remember when I met the one person in my life that I could not lie to or be jealous when other people wanted his attention. It sort of changed my thinking and my choices ever since.
In life, there's an idiom says that, "like attracts like." This doesn't mean that blondes are attracted to other blondes, more often it means that common interests and values will create relationships around them. So it's in your best interest to cultivate interests, morals and choices that you want to have in the people around you. Honest, forthright and noble people rarely attract the people who are crafty or sneaky. Be the person you want to attract. Eventually your life will become surrounded with the people who are most like you.
Holiday foods are not something that I personally think should be available only from November 1st through January 5th, and then sequestered the rest of the year. It must irritate the peppermint, gingerbread and eggnog industry that their products are only in season for like two months every year. Especially when there are people like me that would eat them year round. Right now I am concerned if I bring my Peppermint Mocha Coffeemate to work that it will be gone by end of day because it is such a novelty. Eggnog and Pumpkin Spice Latte season definitely add about 1-1/2 lbs to my rear end every year because I cannot stay away from delicious holiday flavors. If they had a turkey and stuffing on cranberry bagel option at Noah's (I'm so full of good ideas) I'd be all over it. Warm toffee gingerbread pudding at Starbucks? I'll buy it. Though I draw the line at anything shaped like a turkey. Or pilgrim.
So today's purchase, an entire box of Candy Cane Joe-Joes (made in a moment of sheer, "I had a overwhelming day, I will buy these and make myself happy") while delicious, are also quite dangerous when it comes to weight gain. But opening up the box, filled with delicious, fresh cookies and then discovering a unopened quart of milk made me come up with the following idea. Eat three cookies then fill the rest of my stomach with healthy and filling milk. Easy peasy. It's easy to see why people get obcessive about these cookies. First of all, the chocolate wafer is mint flavored, then the filling has little bits of crunchy candy in it. Simple yet yummy.
I also enjoy that my posting on the Book of Face regarding my new box of Candy Cane Jo-Joes has gotten more responses in 1 hour than a week's worth of other status updates. Mostly from people affirming their love of the peppermint candy faux-reo, but also, did you know:
-There are chocolate covered Candy Cane Jo-Joes? (link is to an Oreo VS. Joe-joe survey which I think is pretty bogus; there is nothing more worthless than a chocolate covered SQUISHY cookie. Props to TJs for figuring out a way to keep their wafers crispy.)
Good lord, this season is going to kill me. In fact, I've already tried some preemptive measures in order not to devour the entire box of cookies. Such as a post-it encouraging my roommates to eat them (in moderation of course). But the funniest thing I've encountered today was my revelation that the reason they're called Joe-Joes isn't only because the name 'Oreo' is trademarked but also because they're from TRADER JOE'S.
and hiding from our inner lights. I'm sure the blogosphere is overrun with the retreads of "Asian culture = humility, modesty and denial of accomplishments" While American culture is rife with self-promotion and bolstering up achievements. Too much self-esteem leads to arrogance and disregard for others, too little leads to a sorry sense of depression. There has to be some sort of medium ground. I believe that all achievements are tempered with gratitude and generosity.
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