Ready. Steady. Go!

hey team.

new resolution for 2012. blog every day, for 364 days.

do-able? we'll see.

part of the reason I stopped blogging a while ago, because I generally ran out of things to say. And the more I started to explore the internet, the more I found that the things I wanted to say were being much better said by other people around me.

and I found other places like: Polyvore, Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter that would satisfy my need to express daily ponders.

and I found it slightly disturbing that friends I hadn't seen in a while were actually using my blog to keep up with my life. and would reference it during dinner or a party.

so I stopped, because life caught up. I think I'm ready to do this again.
So let's go blog. LET'S GO!

digital musing

Sometimes I really feel like I need to join the digital revolution.

There are Apps now that are not available on the web.
Apparently Spotify is going to stop working on my laptop in four months
When I'm in a different city, rest assured I will get lost because I don't have a smart phone.
I can only get to level 14 on Angry Birds and my Tiny Tower really isn't where it should be

When did having a laptop, cell phone and wireless access NOT qualify you for Digital World Domination?

Oof. Kindle Fire, I'm looking at you.

A scanner darkly...

Sometimes the hardest thing anyone can ask you to do is to create something out of nothing.

Giving someone carte blanche with no boundaries and asking them to put a description down on paper can create nothing but havoc, confusion and migraines.

So can asking someone: "What do you want to do?"

Most of the time my answer is, what needs to be done? I'm not great at setting the grand oeuvre of a project, but rather good at execution once I see the path.

It is hard to make one's life the project. Especially when everyone around you is encouraging you to be a diver, and you're really a scanner. What's a scanner? According to life coach/self-help guru sites, it's a dilettante, a jack of all trades, a modern Renaissance Man. They are people who are adept at learning new skills, intelligent and efficient learners. But they rarely delve too deeply into one area of expertise. Doctors, consultants and experts are rarely Scanners. Scanners often take the time to become mostly proficient in an area then move on.

video via Pauly Math.

It's why I have a degree in architecture.
Worked two years as a law office manager
Six years as a draftsperson
3 years as a bookkeeper, junior finance admin
2 years in my free time as a theater producer
have 10+ years writing a blog
2 years writing a play
8 years building a lyrical mezzo soprano and alto belt voice for musicals and theater
and 3 months developing a web app.

There are downsides to being a Scanner too - even though we have unique skills and applications.

For example:
I have a 2 year College level proficiency in Italian. I only needed to complete one more year of language and another semester of Cultural Studies to earn a minor.
I played viola for 7 years in middle school and high school, and was section leader for all of middle school, but never took a private lesson
I worked in an architecture firm for 6 years and studied for the LEED exam but never took any tests.
I am a proficient bookkeeper and can analyze finances fairly easily, but I have no desire to take an accounting course.
I am a very good theater producer, but have no desire to run a theater or theater company as my primary source of income
I am a great singer, but have no desire to be on tour or a professional actor.
I'm a great cook, but have no desire to go to culinary school or open a restaurant.

Barbara Sher writes on how a lot of Scanners need a Good-Enough Job. One that pays the bills and leaves enough time to work on hobbies and other interests. It's not a career, it's the thing that you do well that gives you money. While you work at things that don't affect your livelihood but rather your happiness. It's about being a moving target, being awfully good at being balanced and a multi-tasker extraordinaire. Being skilled, efficient and smart - but never dedicating all of your time, resources or emotions to one particular field.

I am scared to tell my friend and HR Manager, that what I'm really looking for is a Good Enough job that pays more. I am too smart and too able for what I'm currently doing. But I don't want to try to make an income with my current passions. And because, honestly, at my company the Good Enough Job would actually be the Totally Awesome Job; great co-workers, good and healthy work environment, benefits, natural light the whole bit - just not my obsession. And I think that's ok.

So the question becomes, not, what do you WANT to do? But more of a situation of what DON'T I want to do?

Marts, markets, craft fairs...legends of the unknown

OH on Castro Street: "Well, you know I don't have pockets in these pants Dave, so where would I have put it?" - elderly gentleman in assless leather chaps after Dore Alley Fair.

I've tried to give this entry a somewhat catchy title and am failing pretty badly. After a month long silence, I've decided to give blogging a try again. On another note, I've noticed that any sort of preconceptions about gender biases in nature has gone out the window. Most photo blogs - I've tried to get Scott to start using the term "phlogs", so far it has not gone as planned - belong to women these days. And they are mostly to market products, cute sparkly fairy-like children, pretty parties and themselves. Most male blogs focus on the funny, the mundane and the out there. I'm not talking about Tumblr - but a lot of the blogs that I like to read, rarely if ever have a picture attached to them. I just start to get distracted with blogs that have a lot of pictures. This goes against the notion that men are visually oriented/stimulated and women more so by words and the imagery created by them.

In the last two weeks alone, I've been to two separate outdoor fairs. And had a markedly different experience at both.

Last week was Indie Mart: hipster, crowded, thronged with wannabe emo-folk bands overidden with badass house music coming from a one-eyed monster speaker on a handcart. Lots of skulls, vintage clothes, necklaces with teeth. Screen printed shirts, succulents stuffed into finished nubbly sea wood bits. Everyone is wearing: plaid, scarves, skinny jeans (rolled up for bike riding), ironic t-shirts, oddly proportioned dresses, bangs and Toms. They are all mostly pretty nice. Victoriana and steampunk make their presence known. Bigtime. Food is taco truck chicken and waffles. Little dogs are everywhere underfoot. Average age, probably about 23.

I bought a super cool jasper necklace with chains. I kind of love it. S. got a bag made out of a vintage feed bag.

This weekend was Treasure Island Flea: mostly older folk looking for good deals, much more spread out and quiet. Families wearing sneakers, jeans, backpacks and visors. Lots of estate jewelry, old pottery, rust and dust. Vintage clothes - more of the sort that you find in a St. Vincent De Paul society store. They are all nice. Steampunk jewelry still finding its way to the front of the line along with old art prints, windchimes, rasta wear and old jelly jars. The hard sell is king here. Food is amazing: belgian waffles with raspberries, chairman bao, garlic noodles, vegan food, greek and kebabs. Kids can spend their afternoon hula hooping on the sunlit lawn in full view of the bay.

I bought a super cool black glass claw necklace with beads. I'm wearing it right now.

Is there something about fairs that we just love? Is it the novelty of being outside? Is it the thrill of the deal or finding something that isn't sold in stores tax free?

Thoughts? I happen to like em.

Cristobal...

Oof, 2 hr nap in the middle of the evening, NOT the best idea. But it means you guys get a blog post. Hoorah!
Weekend has been full of amazing things and some wholly INTERESTING things. First up: the Balenciaga exhibit at the deYoung.

Balenciaga (Spanish pronunciation: [βalenˈθjaɣa]) is a fashion house founded by Cristóbal Balenciaga, a Spanish designer, born in the Basque Country, Spain. He had a reputation as a couturier of uncompromising standards and was referred to as "the master of us all" by Christian Dior.^[1] His bubble skirts and odd, feminine, yet ultra-modern shapes were trademarks of the house.

The Wikipedia entry hardly describes the phenomenal collection (most personally owned by famed stylist Hamish Bowles) still showing at the deYoung through next weekend. The stunning collection of brightly candy colored party dresses, Spanish culture influenced toppers (and yes, the cardinal's coat is INSANE) and chic day suits reflect the best of Balenciaga. Unlike Dior or other designers of the time (he designed through the 40s all the way through the early 70s)
Balenciaga created designs that had both a looseness and elegance to them all the same time. If a jacket had a nipped waist, it probably also had a very loosely cut back or bloused sleeve. But because of the casual flow of the clothing, everything was also cut extremely precisely. Seams disappear into folds, curved bodices and peplums were everywhere and simple shirt would have 6 seams instead of two. The art of making things simple is always more complicated.

(the "Infanta" dress inspired by Valezquez's painting Las Meninas)

The deYoung doesn't disappoint, with more than 4 showrooms of fashion, that also includes several hats, a doll, and a costume from a historical play, Balenciaga designed. Historical influences are also shown throughout in pictures so that the viewer understands the inspiration for the clothes. However, for a designer to take a monk's habit and turn it into a chic hood or a cardinal's coat into a sexy evening jacket - is something of a talent that had to have been nurtured. The most playful thing about the Balenciaga collection is his attention to proportional detailing. Many times, skirts are higher in the front and lower in the back, creating a frame for the legs of the wearer. Hems are often given frills ala flamenco costumes, making them not only pieces of art but girly and fun to wear as well.

Balenciaga was also a study in convertible clothing, way before the tech revolution. He designed several outfits with large draped hoods, skirts that turn into capes and also items that could be worn from day to evening quite easily. He was at home as much with fancy appliqued toreador inspired boleros as he was with a simple silk tunic.
This pink dress was one of my favorites in the collection - a simple shantung frock with a lace underdress, it was sweet and yet cut impeccably. The exhibition closes next week, GO GO GO!

The Curse of the Designer Eye

If you consider yourself an artist; and many of us do, writing is not just a way for us to create outlets for our emotions, but it is also the art of word combination and flow that makes poetry on the page. However, while writing, the feared and maligned "artist's critic" often rears its ugly head.

"You're not good enough."
"Why would you ever write that?"
"No one is going to read that."

It's why writing in a journal or a blog is a safety net. Rarely will people see what you write and you're selectively putting out to the world what you want them to see. But what happens when that critic's voice becomes internalized? And then YOUR voice becomes the critic's voice? I say this after a four month stint of working with a very talented but very bitter and wounded theater set designer. While her creations are something that dreams are forged from and her paint skills alone are worth odes; her verbal diarrehea left much to be desired. And it often made me wonder, are we as artist's so used to being critical of ourselves, our own worth and objectively, others - that we start to lose our grip on how our words can harm?

Some of the things our set designer has said:

• "Well, we're going to a high school production, I hope it doesn't look amateur."
• "I can't believe none of the reviewers said anything about the set. They NEVER do.
• ""The marketing for this show has been so quiet - almost non-existent! It's very sub-par compared to our last big show." (said TO our Marketing Producer)
• "Why is [the artistic director] doing that show? Doesn't he know how horrible it is?"
• "You just don't understand, I have to have a larger workspace. Isn't there something else available?"

These are all lines out of some bad dream. And yet, I assure you - she's said them all. They're petty, egotistical, arrogant and downright mean - all in turns. And yet, I sometimes get the impression that these are not out of the ordinary. Nor does she realize that anything she's saying is improper. In fact, I'm sure our designer actually thinks that the things she says are accurate assessments of situations. In her recent article about "real girls" from the blogosphere becoming famous, feted and then condemned for/ashamed of their "real girl" measurements, Gala Darling had this to say about a recent friend's experience:

But it brings up some questions, & certainly raises many insecurities. I know a girl who was hired as a “real girl” for a clothing campaign. She is gorgeous, & by the way, she is tiny. When she arrived on set, the stylist looked her up & down, stared at her boobs, & said, “I don’t know what to do with those.” The (female!) stylist continued to make disparaging remarks to her about the size of her breasts all day.

It definitely casts an ugly pallor on what is supposed to be an exciting, fun experience."

-Blogger Beautiful? An Examination of what it means to be Beautiful and Valuable in Fashion Blogging by Gala Darling

In this age of revealing everything; perhaps it is time to put away our critical eye - at least outwardly. Critics have power; because influence is power. If you have the ability to judge what others should and should not do - it becomes a rush of domination. Critical people often bulldoze the people who would balk at their criticism; because if they lose one person, they will lose them all. While it seems that everyone these days is unabashed and unafraid to be "honest" it is not an excuse to be blatantly rude. And I will tell you why.

BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW THE WHOLE STORY.

For example, take our set designer's denunciation of our production decisions. That amateur high school show? We ended up hiring their Technical Director who saved us more than $3,000. (Set Designer's comment? "I love him, but I'm glad he never told me he had only td'ed two other shows. I would have been scared.") The set? Finally reviewed in one of the Bay Area's most well-known critic's personal blog. The "sub-par" marketing? Resulted in a profitable show, with over 3000 people seeing the show in a 4 week period, 7 Bay Area Theater Critic's Circle reviews, a Huffington Post article and mention, and countless blog kudos from near and far. The workspace? Well...let's just say we got lucky and used "The Farm."

This is why you need to count your blessings. Why you cannot face a problem as personal (as to the awful stylist - why should the shape of someone's body mean that you cannot do your job? Get creative! Accessorize! Play! Use the gift that god gave you! As Albert Einstein says, "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.")

Is that "designer's eye" the one that makes us strive for perfection at the 11th hour, the one that keeps us working and striving and doing "just ONE more thing" the same thing that keeps us alone, isolated and tormented? Are the truly successful people the ones who learn to quiet and restrain their inner critic and use it only to make the world a better place? I say this and I get this email from our Volunteer Coordinator. A 7+ year volunteer, who has always just wanted to make this little theater company the best it could be:

Dearest volunteers,

On behalf of the ROL family, I just wanted to say THANK YOU for your help ushering, selling concessions, directing patrons and for just being there to help our little company that could. I sincerely hope you enjoyed [our show] and being a part of making it all happen. Because that's what you did. Without you, we wouldn't have been able to have such smooth performances. I know I didn't get to meet every one of you, but please know that I am so very grateful that you were there.

I hope you'll be interested in ushering for future shows (you're on my list now!), and if you're interested in volunteering for positions with more commitment (backstage crew, costumes, props, fundraising, etc) feel free to contact me.

Have a wonderful summer and be on the look out for ROLT updates in the Fall.

Thank you again

That, my friends, is CLASS. For every whiny, self-absorbed Set Designer, I have my generous and caring Volunteer Coordinator. And so the world balances. But imagine, imagine if we could get past our own misgivings, our own catty opinions and diva yearnings - to create a world that all of us could live in.

Just imagine...

Dartmouth

I promise there are new things afoot - for the loyal three of you who have stuck it out with me - but for now, read/watch Conan's 2011 Dartmouth Commencement speech:

I did a lot of silly, unconventional, spontaneous and seemingly irrational things and guess what ---- with the exception of the blue leather suit, it was the most satisfying and fascinating year of my professional life. To this day I still don’t understand exactly what happened, but I have never had more fun, been more challenged, and this is important ---- had more conviction about what I was doing.

No specific job or career goal defines me and it should not define you. In 2000, I told graduates to not be afraid to fail, and I still believe that. But today I tell you that whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.

It makes me so inspired to watch stuff like this. It's ridiculously inspiring and indicative of where the human spirit is headed. Good times to come!