I am America - and so can you.

I.NEARLY.SPIT.MY.COFFEE.AT.MY.SCREEN. (I heart this so much)

Jon Stewart needs to donate me some frozen sperm so I can combine it with Obama's and make a super baby. I will settle for tickets to the Daily Show.

"Every time Barack Obama speaks, an angel has an orgasm."

And the gold goes to...

*snort* hee hee hee...

yeah, I'm 5 years old. I don't care, it's funny. (via Niniane)

Idelible connections

A perplexing consequence of fixing our eyes on an ideal is that it may make us sad. The more beautiful something is, the sadder we risk feeling...Our sadness won't be of the searing kind but more like a blend of joy and melancholy; joy at the perfection we see before us, melancholy at an awareness of how seldom we are sufficiently blessed to encounter any thing of its kinds. The flawless object throws into perspective the mediocrity that surrounds it. We are reminded of the way we would wish things always to be and of how incomplete our lives remain.
While a common reaction to seeing a thing of beauty is to want to buy it, our real desire may be not so much to own what we find beautiful as to lay permanent claim to the inner qualities it embodies. Owning such an object may help us realise our ambition of absorbing the virtues to which it alludes, but we ought not to presume that those virtues will automatically or effortlessly begin to rub off on us through tenure. Endeavouring to purchase something we think beautiful may in fact be the most unimaginative way of dealing with the longing it excites in us, just as trying to sleep with someone may be the bluntest response to a feeling of love.

What we seek, at the deepest level, is inwardly to resemble, rather than physically to possess, the object and places that touch us through their beauty.

- from the Architecture of Happiness by Alain de Botton.

C is for chips - that's good enough for me.

Hey! mmmK cited me in his entry today over at mmm-yoso! I feel cool. Thanks mmmK!
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Also, my chips are cracking me up. (note the by-line underneath the 'with herbs' line) It's good to know that I am ingesting items that cement my adult status. What happens if a pre-teen eats these? Do they start sprouting a beard, wearing sensible shoes and lecturing others on the evil of cashing out their 401(k)? Or is it just a comforting tagline to people of a certain age who like chips but feel like potato chips belong in the arena of pre-pubescent boys binging while playing Guitar Hero? And what's this about being bold?

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But the spirit of it. That sense of possibility and purpose and importance that suffused my every day there. That hopefulness, and the pride in what I was doing. Also, Patty's stubbornness vision. Her eagle-eyed way of really knowing and understanding a place. How do I translate that to the messier and larger arena of Oakland? This plugs into a larger question I've been asking myself--about arrogance. Where is my arrogance, the necessary arrogance of an artist that makes the rest of the life worthwhile? Did I ever have it? Will I never have it? Did the obvious needs of Mississippi let me avoid answering that question of myself? And now? Where is the fire, now? How do I do as Patty does--to let all the petty bullshit around me not touch that inner fire?

-I've been meaning to blog about this for a while, it's from RedHen's blog. Those of you who know me, also know that I've been working on and off with Red Hen for the last three years in our theater company. And she's amazing, a tour de force of vision and hard work with a way of bringing people together. Hers is a valid question; one that makes you think about not only one's status as an 'artist' but how it relates to real life. I don't quite relate to RedHen's arrogance; art is necessity. Sure you can go about your day, work in a menial job and make/do enough to survive - but without art, you never feel whole. There is a listlessness that occurs until your bones fail to stir or you die.
But, yes, as an artist you must make certain decisions about what you put out in the world in order to feel like it truly is art. The decisions must be confident, opinionated and sure. I guess, one must remember that one person's petty bullshit is another persons arrogance. Surely, a leader will always emerge; the person whose arrogance translates to confidence; a worldly wisdom that exceeds any sort of immediate or boxed in experiences. Keep the vision whole and full and beyond any one person. If you are a leader; keep your lieutenants in check and your cadets in line. Deliver on your promises and nurture talent. There will never be a day when pettiness and personal gain and selfisheness does not attempt to infect your inner fire; but only if you let it.

Blian! You come tak out lee-cyk-ables!

Scenes from lunch @ Sunrise Bistro:

HotHapaWaiter: Anything to drink?
Jerrsika: Water and an iced tea
Pen: An Arnrold...dammit, an AR-nelll...
HHWaiter: Arnold Palmer?
Pen: Yes, thank you. Goddamit, AR.NOLD. PALMER. Why is that so hard for me to say?
HHWaiter: (not missing a beat) Cause you're Asian?
Pen: ....[hi fives him]
Jerrsike: ahahha!
Pen: Fuck! You can tell?

Jerrsika: And can I have the dressing on the side?
HHWaiter: Oh you guys are going to be THAT table.
Pen: What?! Oh ahah, hey! We haven't even asked for separate checks-
HHWaiter and Pen (in unison): YET.

Hairy Ponder.

I'd love to do my hair like this for the MohmBean wedding on Sunday-but I fear I am just not that skilled. Anyone have any ideas how this could be done? It totally looks like Joan aka Christina Hendricks from Mad Men. Plus, I just got 2" trimmed from my do over the weekend, so I could also go flippy 50s. I sort of have long Veronica Lake/Brigitte Bardot sideswept bangs and layers. My dress is an A-line, knee length sheath in light silver shantung and a jewelled collar (you would not believe how much I love this dress, it's the Banana Republic collection), shoes are probably round toed pumps. Mymymy has a plethora of jeweled clips, which I certainly don't need to do, but it would be fun.

TRESemmé How "Fierce" is Your Hair? Sponsored by TRESemmé

Maybe a la Coco Chanel or Jessica Alba? I realize that in this photo Alba is more than a little airbrushed, and I think I would do the hair a little softer, but it's sort of what I'm looking for. Why can't my life come with a personal hairdresser?! Whhhyyy??!!!

I need a hero

The other week, I got a phone call from Rawbean -

"Hey? Are you gonna watch the Cho Show? It's on at 11," she blithely informed me at 10:58 - at which point, we proceeded to talk for the next two hours. Bleary eyed and dazed the next day, I all but forgot about the Cho Show, but figured that I would catch one of the multiple reruns VH1 was sure to show.

When I was 15 years old, Margaret Cho was my hero. I even wrote a paper about her and her show, "All-American Girl" citing the fact that only in America could a show like hers even have come to fruition. I caught bits and pieces of her standup on Comedy Central and HBO-but it was mostly made for network tv material, cleaned up and polished. Although, I still remember the special where she came out on stage wearing a patent leather catsuit. It wouldn't be til college when I listened to her seminal first cd, 'Drunk With Power' in all its alcoholic, foul-mouthed, beautifully truthful glory that I got it.

See, there were plenty of Asian American role models for me to follow, in those days: Connie Chung, Amy Tan, Maya Lin, Maxine Hong Kingston - plenty of Asian American women were coming to the forefront of popular culture as educated, well-spoken and worthy of notice. But Cho spoke to the darker side of me. The side that desired tattoos and screaming my anger and frustration and my burgeoning love of gay male companionship. The side that didn't want to be the 'good girl' any longer, didn't want to have to be good at math or the violin or be the picture of virtuous grace. The side that wanted to RAGE.

Well, my hero is back. And madder than a heart attack. I love the set up of this show; it's sort of like Run's House-where she provides running commentary after each event as well as interviews and interaction with her sidekicks and 'Glam Squad'. The first episode shows Cho dealing with her parents and accepting an award from the Korean Community as 'Korean' of the year.

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