Tw'all be.

Have been surreptitiously reading famous and semi-famous people's tweets and came across Paul Coelho's...which are half...no surprise...in Portugese.

But then this one stuck out quite clearly:
As Confucius probably said: to manage to be here and now, pay your bills first.

Alright Coelho, you got me. Time to pay the credit card bill.

let love come in.

I realized today, that until a man can make me feel as fulfilled and joyous and understood and necessary and cared for and motivated as theater does...

I will always have another mistress.

It'll happen one day, I'm so ready for it and so sure- but my man will have a hard time competing.

Today, ROLT did a huge 'Tommy' Flashmob in Union Square and it was astounding. To see a group of 80 people (yes, 80 - we were going for 200, but our sponsors didn't come through) working for two days straight, for 6 hrs of rehearsal both days and rock the square was awesome. But to participate in something that kept me giggling for 6 hours straight today, where I didn't have to think about being...well...sad, but where the situation demanded both being present and also professional; it felt like a huge part of a weight had been lifted.

That weight where it is about me. Not anymore. That's why I need family, because living for something that is not me is what I need to be happy.

Feelin' strange

"Every single thought we have does not need to be a f%#@ing text post for everyone to see!"
-reblogged from Once More With Feeling!

Cranky as hell today. Cranky and stressed.

and awash in a sea of bathos, literally wallowing in it.

Part of it is lack of sleep. Went down to "the Farm" last night to see some really talented young musicians. We're talking a 4'9" sprite of a 16 year old girl with heavy bangs and heavier eye makeup with a nickname like *Jo-Jo - sit in on a set with 6 guys twice as tall and three times as weighty as her, and bang out a drum solo like nobody's business. 14-17 year old musicians playing some seriously great jazz. SFtoNy's long time friend has been a counselor with them for over 10 years, and

I admired the way Linnet treated all his students, with mutual respect and a healthy dose of good humor. You could tell, they all felt comfortable talking to him. That he was truly that rare breed of adult that understands younger people as peers. I think part of it is never treating their problems as any less than the real emotional hardships they are on a psyche that young.

But a 12:30am jazz concert, no matter how awesome, is too late for me.

Also slighty nostalgic. The last time I sat around the CoHo...I was with Bagel. We squished up into some comfy chairs in the corner and held hands. We talked about life. And it was just...good. And it made me happy, but at the same time, sad.

I don't know when it was I turned into this highly introverted and quiet recluse. I've never been the biggest party animal or anything; but lately - I've been feeling the need to connect. And to..well, to put it lightly, normal people. People who do mundane things, people who just...live. They pay their bills, wash their cars, see a movie on a weekend and do regular things. I've been living too long surrounded by people who need to see greatness on an hourly basis. I want someone who eats too many ribs and passes out, the person who plays beer pong but doesn't pass out, the accountant.

This is a weird post to share, I wrote it a week ago. I still feel...strange.

"Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something." ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

whew!

Oh thank god.

Perhaps literally: 11 Famous People Who Were in the Completely Wrong Career at Age 30.

Cause this is something I think about a little too much. Or way too much. Sylvester Stallone, who knew?

Awwww...

I can go to sleep happy now, one of my friends from voice class just posted this on her FB page:

CF: was just positively blown away by Alexis tonight when she sang Meadowlark! She was just beyond words-fantastic. I can't stop crying! It was so beautiful. I don't think anyone can sing it as amazing and beautifully as Alexis. Watching and hearing her was an experience that I can't and won't ever forget.

May we all hope to touch and inspire people in this many ways in our lives and live to hear the praise. Totally blessed and honored to reach out to others with what is the best part of my soul...

passing strange

Taurus: In the Broadway play, "Passing Strange", the narrator praises the healing power of mysterious songs, saying, "You know when the music goes right over your head, bypasses your mind, and strengthens the part of you that's most beautiful?" That's the kind of nourishment I encourage you to seek out in the coming week, Taurus. You need soul-toning experiences that elude your rational understanding - encounters with wise animals, waking dreams, unpredictable love, exotic music, and twilight whispers that blissfully boggle your imagination.

I so rarely enjoy my horoscope, mainly because a lot of astrologers seem to think that Taurii are the fuddy-duddy, fusspots of the zodiac. Pragmatic, sensible and homespun next to airy-fairy Gemini or Libra or mysterious Scorpio or the always fiery Leo. So when I get a good one, I often think of it as a boon.

***************
Had Girlie Night at Sens with Joolie tonight. Sometimes when you used to live with someone, you start to take them for granted and realized that the last time I had seen my friend was roughly 2 months prior. She had thrilling tales to tell from Comic-con and we shared some delicious happy hour eats. But also had a chance to talk about our ever evolving lives; growing older and more open, while so many of our peers are still playing it safe and cool on the bleachers. Ended up sharing my recent revelation:

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." Corinthians, Chapter 13, verse 11

This verse is not literally about hiding our toys or losing our sense of innocence, but rather about the growth beyond the emotional state of childhood. Paul is not talking about dolls and games, he is talking about anger, jealousy, cruelty, spite, judgment and all these childish emotions in which we lose ourselves, forget ourselves—hurt ourselves and others for no gain and much loss. (http://www.rahul.net/raithel/otfw/8childish.html)

How easy is it for all of us to walk around saying, "You hurt me. And I won't be hurt." Recently had someone say to me, after I confessed, "I went into it knowing that it could hurt."

"It will hurt."

The correction seemed shocking and yet, so true. Our relationships on Planet Earth WILL hurt, that is the only guarantee. And trying to find one that is not going to hurt us is impossible. Because we are ALL human and therefore subject to the human condition. Living life in black and white, while preferable to most - is simply unobtainable. We must live in the grey. We must accept that even Hitler had a girlfriend. No one is truly good or bad; as Joolie said, "Assume the positive intention."

Try to see with your heart, even when you don't agree with someone. Even if what they're saying or doing seems to be the worst, stupidest, most pigheaded thing they could do.

Sense with your heart, the intentions - the failures and the triumphs - of the human condition.

Paying taxes, flossing and a mini van.

And maybe one day...I'll learn to be a proper grown up.
via XKCD