hi there.

so...when you "grow up"? do people stop giving you advice? and what i mean is...when do i get to speak my mind?

or does it just get to a point where you say, "Whatever." ?

When we were kids, it used to get pointed out a lot that saying "whatever" was pretty rude. It was the equivalent of insolence + ignorance + apathy. And sometimes our impulses and dreams and desires were walked upon enough for us to just...give up.

today, came close to hitting a wall.

hit the wall while clutching a rope too short to climb over. feeling that no matter what, the decisions made will lead again, to a state of futility and utter failure. that's been my experience with a lot of things. dating. career. friendships. spirituality. for some reason, just not making the right decision. not having the right guidance. trusting an instinct twisted by a psychology that is fought against every day, but that has a way of weaseling its way back into every choice.

stopped giving a crap about what anyone thinks. really.

get out of my space. let me have my opinions and my own mind. i certainly let you have yours.

whatever.