rough...

It has been a rough week for the peeps at work.

Some good people had to say goodbye. For reasons that will all work themselves out universally. While hard to not work in fear, the right converations have come up around me to let me know that the time to keep working, it's there. Harder still, is the difficulty in not going into Mama Bear mode; to resist gathering my arms around the people left I have come to care about in the small space of a year, bare my claws and say, "No more!"

Came home tonight to the roomies watching '2012'; the ending is notably predicable. (Of course he lives, he's muthafucking JOHN.CUSACK!!) But have we come to this? Being too afraid to care for others for the time when they will leave us alone? Look at the state of the world in the last year; huge earthquakes, the oil spill in the gulf, tsunamis, hunger, starvation. Humanity is crying out after years and years of selfishness. That time is over. Are you hearing me? DONE.

I will never count myself as a sucker for caring for others. NEVER. Even when hurt, shamed, guilted or neglected. The part of me that cares for others is the part of my humanity that cannot be denied. This is part of a letter that I wrote to my co-workers last year when I was laid off.

Thank you for always pushing me to do more. Thank you for encouraging and being interested in my outside activities as well as the ones at work. Thank you for sponsoring/supporting my interests in both LEED and AIA, and continuing to believe that the more educated and informed the employee, the better the business. Thank you for not being so much bosses as friends and mentors. Thank you for creating an environment based on cooperation instead of competition. Thank you for having a staff of dedicated, fun, talented and friendly individuals that made it a joy to wake up at 6 and travel 40 miles away from home every day for.

Without sounding condescending, I hope that you all remember to be kind to one another. To listen and appreciate each other. To keep an eye to the future and on the team. To look for doors, 6'0" openings and windows instead of hitting walls. To be open and understanding when you could judge, and light and bright when you could be gloomy. Leave it Nickelback to make some inappropriate joke and you're well on your way.

There is so much respect and good feelings I have for all of you. It has been an honor to call you co-workers. To a great 2009, for you and your families.

Thank you.