What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

I still walk through my life sometimes trying, desperately, to seem cool. This goes for everything from my opinions on politics (left leaning) to child rearing (I'll tell them about sex and pot and drugs and steer them towards what I think are the right decisions) to ideas on dating (yeah, it's cool not to see each other every day) to music.

Music is one of my biggest hang ups. It's not that I think my taste is horrible, I just don't think I've been exposed to very much that could be considered "cool". Like my book collection; I just listen to what I like. Most of the time that happens to be musical theater or funk or classical vocalists. I also quite like movie/tv soundtracks, yes, I do like to pretend on my walk to work that a) cute guys are watching me, b) my exes are watching me and pining plaintively and lastly c) the other people watching me are thinking, "Damn that chick is cool/cute/awesome." (yeah, whatever, I'll totally admit to my ego trip) There's only so much breathy, acoustic shit I can take before I feel like I want to cut my bangs and become a hipster vegetarian (bleccchhh). Music is a mood shifter for me and often I want to get myself out of that self-indulgent, self-pitying depression state so I'll listen to things that are light, pop-y and fun. Dance music is a huge guilty pleasure for me, it lifts my mood and gives me a natural gait and strut.

It's gotten to the point where I'm looking to my co-workers, friends and loved ones to tell me what to listen to. One of them gave me friggin' hypno trance surf rock. Think Beach Boys on LSD. Another wasn't too bad and referenced Labi Siffre. The 'Stache put this shit (oh for fuck's sake, they're Canadian?) on my Pandora and I'm still trying to figure out if it's poseur stuff or not. Personally, I prefer this:

Robyn - Hang With Me official video from Robyn on Vimeo.

I know right? Sappy. Auto-tuned. Groovy. And I would rather listen to this than Mahler's 4th any day. (to be fair, I'm not even quite sure what Maher's 4th sounds like)

So recently, songwriter and musician Matthew Friedberger of the Fiery Furnaces was interviewed saying this:

Music is still a “prestige” item. The music you like is now more important for first impressions both for the way you’re formulating yourself and the way you interact with people. Music is still educating people about whether they’re cool or not. Now people have more anxiety about this stuff, about status and the music they like. There’s more anxiety related to it than to some of their other consumer or lifestyle choices.

Now, isn't that telling? And honestly, don't you sort of freeze up when someone asks you what sort of music you listen to and don't you sort of feel like a douche when you can't say what the last concert you went to was? I'll be completely honest, the last rock concert I went to - I'm pretty sure, was Keane at the Fox Theater last year. And it was because the Blade had an extra ticket. I rarely, if ever, voluntarily purchase tickets to see shows. I like making music more than I enjoy seeing it. Friends who are in shows don't count. These people are friends. Outside Lands, Coachella, Lollapolooza, etc...seem just like a bunch of trouble. Drunk assholes getting in your space, overpriced foods and merch, and bathroom lines out the door - these all spell uncomfortable and an unpleasant experience for me. Stern Grove is negotiable, but there are your fair share of obnoxious people everywhere. This may make me seem like a hermit is true, but personally - the human condition, while fascinating to observe, often gets too close to my comfort zone for me.

Maybe music is just one of those things that defines us. But who is to say what is cool and what is not. Can we like different types of music for the same reasons? Such as can a song by the Beatles and a song by the Roots and a song by Daft Punk give different people the same exact feeling depending on their personal nature? Can a person who listens to some independently produced and distributed no-name band be as interested in Miley Cyrus? Or are those two artists so far separated by socio-cultural status that they remain mutually exclusive in a listener's mind?

Friedberger goes on to say this (which rocks my world):

It goes out there in the world and you have no control over it, and you have to keep that in mind. That’s the way it is with any artifact, I suppose, but that’s more explicitly the case when it comes to art, mass-produced art. I think Glenn Gould said something like, “Recording is a mix of the autocratic and the democratic.” I get to do whatever I want making the record—I get to manipulate it and strangle it and do whatever I like to it—and then it goes out there and people listen to it in circumstances or in ways that I have no control over and that I can’t fathom. That’s the way it works. But for people to put it to their own ends, you can’t just give them an empty vessel or a blank canvas. It needs to be full of your marks and of your intentions for it to be anything that they’re going to be able to manipulate to their ends.

So you know what? We are all free to feel however we want about the music that we listen to. And if it feeds our souls, who are we to feel negative about our choices. Yeah...that's cool.

"Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths. We all derive from the same source. there is no mystery about the origin of things. We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up, only to discover what is already there."

Henry Miller

On a side note: How to Care for Your Introvert - this is interesting, sometimes I feel like an asshole in social situations. I don't know what to do or say at parties where I don't know anyone. I just can't. I'm totally serious. I can't do small talk or feign interest in people that I think I'm never going to see again. The only way I can adjust at a party where I don't know anyone is for some kind soul to take me under their wing. At a party where I don't know anyone, you'll always be able to find me in a room, petting a cat. This has happened more times than I care to mention. Alone. In a room. Petting a cat. This is my level of comfort people. Does it surprise anyone that the article mentions that many actors actually are or feel like introverts when not on stage? Yeahhh...