Aspects of love-not the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical

Via GalaDarling

If you feel awkward next time you go out dancing — like you don’t look good or you don’t dance well enough or you’re not cool enough to be there — take a break. Go to the corner of the room, drink some water, survey the scene & make a decision. Decide to own yourself & what you’re doing. Own your dancing, own your body, take control. Decide that you’re sexy, amazing, cool & glamorous. Decide that you’re a fabulous dancer & that you’re just going to cut loose. Decide that you’re the queen (or king) of the room & that everyone else in there is just your loyal subject, dancing for your entertainment. Imagine you are wearing a crown (or put on a tiara if you feel that way inclined!). Don’t feel the need to dance a certain way — just be you. Claim a place on the dance floor, flick your hair, spin around & keep your head up. You have to own it. As soon as you act like you belong to be there, you’ll start to have much more fun & people’s reactions to you will mirror that back at you. Plus, there’s nothing more appealing than a confident person having fun on the dance floor!

I love this advice for every aspect of life, not just dancing. When you're anywhere, decide that you're going to be amazing. In whatever way you think is appropriate to you.
I've been so caught up, in the last day or so, trying to be an adult.
Rather than just living in the present, I am getting caught up in what I think lies ahead.
The truth is, none of us knows what lies ahead.
I could get run over by an escaped barrel of monkeys tomorrow.
It's all about perspective.
I give myself permission to do what my heart feels is the right thing.
To not keep pushing away that which my soul craves dearly.
To give and receive affection and attraction and love.
From my friends, from my family and from him.
In any form that it is given.

Reflecting on the hallway

I've been wrapped up/Each trace of kiss/Every embrace/
Closer and closer to being
Held
Every car and gaslight and sign of the city
Becomes a refraction/Distractions
In a moment
These lights belong to us
As if we could hold something that intangible
Nailing ice to the wall
But just in that moment
I can touch them.
Before they flow like water to the morn

I'm finding myself falling faster; still with determination to stay true to the last 3 years of blissful solitude. Solitude, I finally find Meister Rilke was right, is key. It's key to knowing self. I cannot nor will I give up the last three years I have spent: building a theater company, originating roles, singing, dancing, living and loving the best that I know I can or have. I know me-the time between doorways has been invaluable. Friends are real-without pretense without motive. The final test, going to weddings by myself and feeling a pure joy for those in love without having it by my side. Truly, people who find themselves on the verge of dancing the edge between independence and being held by a lover are hard pressed. Is it better or worse that not only our passions run quicker than I can keep up with, but I find myself being titillated by his past. By the girl who loved him and loves him still. I have been her. It scares me. Who or what will I throw away, put to the side, when he comes for my nights? Whisper in his ear what I need and he holds me fast, repeats:

"Stop thinking ahead."

breathe. just breathe.

"It is good to be solitary, for solitude is difficult. That something is difficult must be one more reason for us to do it. It is also good to love: because love is difficult." (Rainer Maria Rilke)

Lazzzyyyy

Yay! My Threadless stuff is coming! (so sue me, it's Sunday and I'm basically sitting upstairs watching the jook for Mr. Jones while he does yardwork, I say it's a fair trade) I'm super psyched that I got 4 shirts on sale! Three of which will probably be given away as gifts-but hey, who's counting right? I finally got my hands on two of the cutest designs, both by designer Jean-Sebastian Deheeger:










nauseatingly adorable aren't they? I know they're cutesy as all heck-but gimme a break! When do I get to wear these shirts ever again? We should always wear things that make us smile - whether they're beribboned, comfy or our favorite color; wearing something that makes you feel good will only make your day better and brighter.

I'm going to the tactile dome tonight for Mindola's b-day party, so hopefully I'll have some good photos from the party-but til then, I present to you my guy friends in all their cutesy glory

Yo B - slap me some skin!

Seriously? SERIOUSLY NBC?!? This is news now? We gotta explain this to the rest of the country?

It's not like Flava Flav was up there screaming, "Yeahhhhhh BOOOIIII!!"

But that would have been awesome too.

Michelle Obama is really pretty. Good thing Condi's been keeping her seat warm.

Shortie

Quickie post for today: just because I'm tired and don't feel like writing, so I thought I'd include a nice photo for mmmK.

This pic is from dinner with the Chinese Mafia ie. my parents' current coffee klatch that comes and invades our house about twice a month. The food is pretty good tho'.

(l-r) bottom l: roast duck, raw sturgeon salad, tofu with greens, drunken chicken, wintermelon steamed w/ pork, more greens, fungi with beef (snow ear), drunken chicken. center-fungi with BACON!

We also had this amazing homemade cha siu sohw that Mr. Jones made with Trader Joe's puff pastry and cha siu from Irving. It was really really good-buttery. This is the unfortunate reason I cannot diet, EVER, at my house.

When I have a brand new hairdo...

So last Friday, I went to see 'Sex and the City' with the girls. (cause who else in their right mind would I go to see that with? Nim?) , but I had to face a couple of trials to do so. Let me preface this with...

During her concert on Sunday, the amazing and talented Audra McDonald introduced me to the idea of 'quick karma'-where your guardian angel is so on top of their job-the second you start getting cocky or ahead of yourself; he or she knocks you right on your head to let you know they're watching. Like Ms. McDonald, I too have quick karma. The second I start to think that, I'm, you know...not so bad, my guardian angel will make me fall over a curb or something. It's that fast people. (I'll talk more about the fabulous concert later on this week)

So, in case anyone is wondering, I didn't play hooky from work. I did ask to leave early citing the fact that I had an 'appointment'. Quite honestly, I wasn't doing very much last week anyway and I didn't take any pay for the two hours I missed. So I feel like it was a fair trade. They didn't have to pay me for work that I wasn't going to do. Forreals. But 'quick karma' is quite a snarky bastard and I got stuck at my station for 30 minutes...

Because the Bart police were chasing some criminal through the Lafayette tunnel and they had to turn the power off on the grid or they would all get electrocuted.

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried people. So instead of being 30-40 min. early like I planned, I was instead, roughly 10 minutes late. Quick karma at work. Thankfully, I found the girls right around the 3rd or 4th trailer, so no call no foul. Now, let's talk about SATC. When the series was out, I didn't have access to HBO and the reruns on TNT leave out some of the more explicit material. So by the time I actually started watching episodes, they seemed to be pale replicas of the original intent of the series-which was to put to the forefront, the successful, smart and attractive women of New York City loving their lives and looking for love. The stereotypes have oft been ridiculed by different series (My Boys-I think being the latest): the hyper-sexed alpha female, the 50s housewife traditionalist, the uber-feminist attorney and the quirky, non-comittal but fashionably forward writer. I never got it. I didn't like that they rarely, if ever, had anyone of color included in the cast and how trite the little boxes each of them had to live in became by the end of the series. Fashion forward Carrie would never dream of putting a cream puff past her lips for fear that her dresses wouldn't fit-but boyish, ambitious and stressed out Miranda gained 20+ pounds on her chocolate sex substitutes.

Still...I have to admit the fashion was appealing as hell. Give it up for Patricia Field for introducing the world to Manolo, Choo and Marc Jacobs. I would watch the show more to get outfit ideas than for the plots themselves. I especially respected Carrie's daring sense, but found that Miranda's style suited my own better.

The movie; well, the movie is a different animal altogether. I'll admit it. I laughed, I cried (especially over Kristin Davis' OUTSTANDING Charlotte) and I found myself in the company of great girls doing it. The movie wasn't so much predictable as satisfyingly complete. Every female character on the show made the right decisions for herself and it was a delicious feminist moment to know that every woman in the theater would be a grander, more fabulous self upon leaving. Speaking of, most if not all of the women in the theater were dressed OUT TO Neptune. I saw; a purple fur shrug, an emerald green satin swing dress, jewelry both fake and real, and everywhere, HIGH HEELS HIGH HEELS HIGH HEELS. Sort of gives new meaning to what it is to take your feminine side and OWN it. I went to Octavia that night in sky high heels and a short dress-just to say, I could.

Conclusion: I have a new respect and admiration for SJP and this movie. And a new consideration on what it is to be a woman.

Catch up

Trying to catch up on last week's entries:

So after oyster shucking and eating all day, we got back in our cars and rolled towards Point Reyes-where we met not one, but TWO dogs named 'Yogi'. Guess it's a popular name for dogs in the North Bay. We stopped by 'Bovine Bakery' after looking for the, closed, Cowgirl Creamery. Most peeps stopped for coffee at the bakery, but I waited til we got to the organic coffee stand closer to the center of town for my chai. Later on, after a productive shopping trip to NordieRack with Spam (silk Ici dress! $11.97!)-we all met up again at Himawari Ramen.

Himawari is basically riding the same wave of ramen enthusiasts that congregate at Santa Ramen down the street. Since I have yet to go to Santa, this review may be a bit biased-but I really enjoyed Himawari.
Decor: Himawari, in compairison to the Yelp photos of Santa, is much more modern and nicer looking than Santa. Flooring is bright hardwood and the tables and chairs are in modern dark woods and leather. Lighting is done in trendy track fixtures and the overall feel is that of a fashionable Shinjuku salon-with more square footage per table. They have a medium sized curved bar where you can watch the chefs prepare ramen and eat solo or with a date fairly comfortably.
People: a mix of Asian and American-with emphasis on hipster. The waitresses are all these adorable tiny girls in jeans and white tees printed with Himawari logos. The chefs are two young Japanese guys with cool Asia-pop hairdos. Perfect for the wannabe population. The bathroom and backroom however, have a distinctly Chinatown seedy vibe.

Menu: this is where ramen always gets a little tricky for me. Ever the ones for variety and 'having it your way'-tons of Japanese fast food type places have add-ins (see: curry at 'On the Bridge' or Katana-Ya ramen). With Himawari, you have your choice between: nori (dried seaweed), wakame (fresh seaweed), egg, corn, butter, extra cha-siu (roasted pork), bamboo shoots and buta kakuni (which is a type of fatty pork belly). There are some other add-ins, I just can't remember them right now. Every table comes with a condiment spinner of fried garlic, soy sauce, and the Japanese spice mix (not furikake, but the other one)There are also three types of soup (salt, soy and miso) and then the special tonkotsu (pork bone) soup. Not to be mistaken for tonkatsu-the breaded pork. I just had the regular tonkotsu soup and I added wakame. A ton of the table ordered the buta kakuni-which I was interested in, but felt that since my stomach was already full of oysters and other good food, I should regulate.

Overall, I liked this bowl of ramen. Last time I went to Katana-ya, I was super disappointed. Himawari is something I would probably travel to San Mateo for (they have karaage too!). The tonkotsu soup was super slick and went down my throat nicely. It was rich, but didn't taste overwhelming and the chefs gave me a hefty serving of wakame (sort of like spinach) in my bowl. The cha-siu was PERFECT. Melty, nice ridge of fat, tender. I only wish I had ordered extra-because the three slices was not enough. We all noticed that we were given the thinner ramen noodles on this day-which didn't bug me, but did other people. I didn't try the buta, but did take generous spoonfuls of Spam's snow crab omelet ramen (see photo). It was DELICIOUS! Tangy, sweet and umami omelet tops the ramen-it was borderline Thai, but soooo good.

Afterwards-because we aren't fat enough, we headed down the street to Yogurtouille (yes, there are people who are that cutesy who own businesses)-one of those PinkBerry add em in rip-offs. We asked the servers for sample cups and ahhahah! Unfortunately for them, the machines are set up to deliver their splodges of yogurt fast and furiously. So trying to get a 'little' bit of yogurt wasn't so much a dollop as a wallop. We still all got some tho', I had a mix of lychee and original tart with a ton of fruit: blackberries, blueberries, kiwi, mango and mochi!! It was good, but I think next time, I'd nix the underripe blackberries in favor of saving myself the extra weight (both on my body and the Yogurtouille pay scale). The tart yogurt is so different from the Yogurt Park cups I've been having at work; much more of an Asian sensibility-but tarter and therefore easier to eat more.
We all waddled off into the Sunset. Thus ends a very good end to a Memorial Day in my 2*th year.



I just think the Yogurtouille sign is funny. It sort of contradicts itself, but then...maybe it doesn't. Last time I ate a goji berry, I didn't get a killer sensation, but hey, maybe it rocks some people's worlds.

Himawari Ramen
202 2nd Avenue
San Mateo, CA 94401
(650) 375-1005

Yogurtouille
407 South B St
San Mateo, CA 94401
(650) 548-1381


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So I am having a little bit of a dating dilemma. If you are interested at all in hearing it and or being the answer to my prayers, please feel free to email me at: pen UNDERSCORE i AT hotmail DOT com.