There's an Obama supporter who blogs here. Because he will walk beside us, as our leader who listens; who understands the human condition. In a political world full of smoke and mirrors, he seems to neither deny nor denounce his past. Has a grace and humility that has been missing for quite a while from our democracy. I want something new. I believe in something new.
There are so many tricks and turns of politics that are confusing and time-consuming. Being president is not winning the popularity contest-it is a difficult job that no one should want, but instead feel a responsibility towards. There is so much to be said about how many of Obama's ideas run concurrent with Clinton's - yet he seems to be so much more palatable. And if that runs for me, it will run for the whole international universe as well. No more cowboys, I want a president.
DAMN YOU ANTHROPOLOGIE!!I don't have $228.00 to spend on a dress. Why?!? Why must you be so pretty? And perfect?! And the stupid stock market crashed...again today. Stupid.
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I'm out of control and at times I'm hard to handle.But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don`t deserve me at my best. -Marilyn Monroe
Short entry today, too busy, outside, enjoying my dose of Vitamin D. Recent purchases: USB cord for printer - it's getting a little ridiculous that I don't print because I don't have a cord. Vitamin E soap (by 302) - best facial soap ever, totally stops my nose from gathering oil.
Have been reading the wiki entry on Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs-based solely on watching an episode of CSI last night; which makes me wish I had taken a basic sociology class when I was in college. Reading the entry, I also feel totally justified in my so-called 'hermit behavior' when all I am doing is self-actualizing. hee.
Esteem needs All humans have a need to be respected, to have self-esteem, self-respect, and to respect others. People need to engage themselves to gain recognition and have an activity or activities that give the person a sense of contribution, to feel accepted and self-valued, be it in a profession or hobby. Imbalances at this level can result in low self-esteem, inferiority complexes. People with low self-esteem need respect from others. They may seek fame or glory, which again depends on others. However confidence, competence and achievement only need one person and everyone else is inconsequential to one's own success. It may be noted, however, that many people with low self-esteem will not be able to improve their view of themselves simply by receiving fame, respect, and glory externally, but must first accept themselves internally. Psychological imbalances such as depression can also prevent one from obtaining self-esteem on both levels.
(This is fascinating! I always knew there was a word for: enculturation, but was resigned to calling it 'closed mindedness' or 'racism'-when it is so much bigger than that. )
How many people do you know have that special *spark* to them? Like they have a different brand of coffee in the morning or are wearing their super special underpants, EVERY DAY? They seem to love life, no matter what it throws at them. They are not more rich or successful than people who are disgruntled, arrogant or bitter; but for some reason they cherish their successes or riches more. And you win WITH them. When they're happy, you're happy too. They're rarely critical, judgemental, condescending, secretive or unkind. Life is full of incredible surprises, interesting people and page-turning (for lack of a better word) adventure when you're with them.
Striving to be like them; and therefore, MORE YOU (if that makes sense) is the best that you could hope to achieve out of life. At least...it's the best that I could hope for. And notice, how many of these people are around you? A lot? A little? Law of attraction-you are what you're made of.
Bring a little happy into the world today. For you.
Rain shmain; doesn't stop me from going outside. Let us make one thing perfectly clear; if I ever once try to deny my dork roots, please smack me into oblivion. Thanks! But how is it that I have never been to the mini-mecca of all things geek, WonderCon? When I was 16, I worked in a comic book store for chrissakes. Mostly for the "cool" factor-even when I was a teen I equivocated geek with cool. Ha. (which is why I seriously don't get people doing the whole 'popularity-I'm better than you' game, even when they're 29 or 30-dude, get over it. I actually don't care what kind of car you drive or how many yoga classes you take-I care more about who you are and how you treat others) Moward and I met up at Yerba Buena Center after a short delay (Muni trains decide to take nap breaks when it rains), in which time I amused myself by looking at books by the St*rbucks. On the way there, I ran into a Boba Fett outside the Mariott, so I was already chalking the day up as a plus.
When we got to Moscone Center, the rain was threatening but not too awful, and here is the fat line for the Iron Man chat as evidence.
Inside, the geekery began, and I got a picture with four Cobra recruits (I also, and thinking back-this was mean-gave the girl Cobra shit for not dressing up as the Baroness. I mean, cause she was pretty hot) There were not as many people walking around in costume as I was hoping for, but plenty of guys (most of whom showered) with utter post-coital bliss painted on their faces. There were also little kids walking around with huge machete esque swords (I mean, basically a plank attached to a handle), provoking my pondering out loud whether or not a bus from the HP had made a special trip. We walked by plenty of booths and my wallet was sorely tempted by Domo shirts, Star Wars lego figures, cuteshitthatlightsup stuff and other retro goods (and unfortunately, not too many books)-but ultimately I decided against it for reasons that I would have been lugging it around the Treasure Hunt. We also ran into several friends there:
Mo & the Bean
and also War / Cloud & fam - just completely randomly. heh heh. It was totally fun. Not something I'd want to do for more than two or three hours, but fun! Amusing, light, cool art stuff to look at. It also felt fun to be part of somewhat of an underground collective. It's like being into Rainbow Brite or musical theater, it's not something you announce in public or in front of work collegues, but when you're finally given the chance to submerge yourself completely in your nerd finery? You go hog-wild: because you have found others like yourself. It's like a gay person coming out of the closet. I feel no need to defend my love of comics. They're art; sometimes stupid, no plot, anatomically impossible, titanium covered art, but a form of expression nonetheless. They allow us to manifest in greater form the facets of human culture that we try to deny. Captain America or Dr. Doom; they are exaggerated caricatures, but they are in all of us. Neil Gaiman is currently a cultural icon and look at artists like Ikegami or Jim Lee, and try to deny the cultural part and parcel they contribute as well as disseminate for their readers. and that's the educational part of this blog, moving on to shallow stuff ...
What I was really struck by, and god may hate me for this, but first of all: the guys there? Total geekery, but not shy. Several of them were wont to look up at me and smile and also make geek talk quite close to my ear. In fact, had I not been in close vicinity to Moward, I probably would have gone home with a number or two. Maybe it's cause I'm the rarity of a GIRL at a COMIC BOOK CONVENTION-where estrogen is ne'er to be found, except clad in spandex. Or that the simple fact that I would show an interest in comics makes me more attractive-I don't know. In contrast, Moward felt uncomfortable about being at a geek fest with an Asian girl-which always makes me laugh, like when I go out with Nim and he wears his 'konichiwa' t-shirt. But he felt, and sort of understandably, like an ass. I guess I should have cursed more or made explicit lesbian jokes or something.
Secondly: this is what I'm totally going to get smote (smited? smoted?) for-the guys were cute. Not all of them, several were poor examples of hygeine and grooming, but many were cute! They may have been wearing a shirt that said, "I am the kwisatz haderach" (I SAW this guy, so did Moward), but they were above board attractive-at least to me. And this may explain my ENTIRE problem. I am attracted to guys who never leave their houses! I am used to this kind of guy; the slightly skinny, uber smart, twinkle in his eye, dorky guy.Which means I should join an MMORPG or something right? Or maybe guys who have unattainable anatomical expectations just float my boat. Whichever.
Oscar post! With photos, and opinions. More weekend update later.
How hot is Helen Mirren by the way? She and Daniel Day-Lewis looked positively newlywed radiant as they walked off stage together arm in arm. And were tickled to be with each other. But that red dress? Hawt.
Pregnant people look incredible too:
Jessica Alba looked stunning and poised-if a tad fembot when announcing the winner for the science and tech categories. The color, a winey plum, was fantastic on her. Mymymy thought she needed a necklace, but I pointed out that would have taken away from her feathered decolletage.
Cate Blanchett
is friggin gorgeous when she is pregnant. She must be in her second trimester because she is glowing. I love this shade of purple on her, matched with the emerald greens. And the loose hair completes her look; glam hippie mom.
Nicole Kidman (Mr. Jones and I were all, "She's pregnant? She looks normal.") Even though I'm sure she was restraining herself, and I loved the diamond necklace, there was far too much black on the red carpet this year.
Sexiness = James McAvoy (2 out of 2 W*ng women agree-and the accent? KILLAH!) and Sexiness = the Rock (he's my latest obcession, I watched Walking Tall, just to watch him with no shirt.)
Yay! I got my wish! Marion Cotillard wins for La Vie En Rose! Naysay what you will about Julie Christie, but Cotillard's full transformation in the glamourpuss she is into the frail yet tempestuous Edith Piaf was the most amazing thing I saw last year. She DESERVES this win.
I loved watching the spouses; esp. Francis McDormand wolf whistling her hubby Joel Coen for his two wins. And did everyone have the crazy-eyes reaction to watching their clips or is it just me? See: Cate Blanchett, Ruby Dee. I keep mixing up Isla Fisher and Amy Adams, is that weird? Seth Rogan is kinda cute. Uh kill me, but is that Steve Guttenberg with Marlee Maitlin? Yay! Paul Dano! love.
Full and respectful opinions are, of course, welcomed.
Today's entry is inspired by *GalaDarling who is always informational & educational as well as self-examinatory. And it's lovely-makes me want to be a better blogger.
Limited time only, Paul Coelho's, "Witch of Portobello Road" available, in its entirety here: Harper Collins Link "Do you know what I've learned? That though ecstasy is the ability to stand outside youself, dance is a way of rising up into space, of discovering new dimensions while still remaining in touch with your body. When you dance, the spiritual world and the real world manage to coexist quite happily....During any dance to which we surrender with joy, the brain loses its controlling power, and the heart takes up the reins of the body. Only at that moment does the Vertex appear. As long as we believe in it, of course."
It's been a long time since I was at a rave. Or house party. Or dance hall. The last time I danced may have been at RedHen's wedding, now that I think about it. There are two types of people, as far as I'm concerned, those who dance and those who don't. Let me be clear though, and I am in love with both types-but much more so with those that do dance. Lovers are not the people that 'look good' while dancing, but the people that dance without any attachment to 'looking good'. (which usually end up being the people that look the best while dancing anyhow) Think about the last time you saw someone dancing, really DANCING. Were they with anyone? Having just bopped around my room for 1/2 an hour - which I used to do quite regularly; there were a couple of things that are worth mentioning:
How easy it was to become distracted. I started glancing around my room at all the clutter and things I wanted to put away. Started staring at the clock, realizing how hot it was. But at the same time, all of the objects in the room started to become clearer. More in focus and I started to mentally keep a list in my head. Somehow, the endorphins had made everything more focused.
How hard it was to just dance. There had to be some sort of connection-real or imaginary. I had to stare into the window to try to catch a glimpse of my eyes. After a while I gave up and fell into my easy fantasy-gypsy guitarists with dark eyes and sundry other men. Then dancing, all of a sudden was easy. After a little bit of that, it was easy to fall into just movement. But I needed that impetus.
How the different types of music affected the type of connection I entered into. I was using a middle Eastern type belly dancing cd. It was a little hard to get into.
How good it feels now, to just be used up. I can go to bed feeling like I did something.
How hard it was to stop focusing on the 'look good'-even with the lights off, door closed and nobody here, I kept catching myself trying to do the 'right' movements, which is probably why I danced for as long as I did.
Coelho's novel encourages the reader through imagined interviews about his main character, Athena, to think of dance as more than physical activity or pleasurable activity. But as a way to get in touch with ultimate spirituality (called the Vertex) and therefore purpose in life. As much as I love dancing; this time was different. Because there was an imminent goal, I stepped out of being in the moment. And finally, when I let go of the need to see the 'Vertex', I was able to release into real dancing. Into clarity.
************ By the way: NERD ALERT. WonderCon is this weekend, featuring Cal alumnus - John Cho - better known as Harold from 'Harold and Kumar' (soon to do comm duties as Hikaru Sulu in the new Star Trek prequel movie) does triple attack as the Con, Chinese New Year Parade and SFIAA Film Festival all come to collide in a huge AZNOMGFest.!!! ahah. It's less like a yellow fever and more like a yellow epidemic. You know you love it. Yeah...I said it.
*************
Listening to Duffy, 'Mercy' - damn...
That's some good shit right there. Some friggin' awesome, makes my weekend, hot stuff, wish I could look like Brigitte Bardot and sing like Eartha Kitt good shit. (via LittlestYellowestDifferentest)
*I've deleted parts of yesterday's entry, for those of you who are a little new to the home game today. Not because I'm trying to self-censor (necessarily), but because I had a little think about it yesterday. And venting that way does nobody good-least of all me. Especially when I'm frustrated at so much more than a silly cast party. I'm going to be late; they have to deal. End of story. So my irate anger perpetuated the interwebs for one day. I think that's probably enough. Here's the truth. I am an easily stressed out person. I am able to hold quite a lot in, but I don't always release it in a healthy or substantive way. So I'll let it build up til I am all awash with the comments, contradictions, fears and tribulations brought up by my own attitude and the failure to address people who irritate me when they arrive. And then it all sort of explodes.
It's really easy to deflate too.
Just come up to me and tell me I'm doing a good job.
That what I'm doing is not easy, but I'm doing a good job.
And then I'm on my merry way.
See, other people's opinions, emotions and attitudes affect me just as strongly as my own. Silly, but true. One person who is having a bad day, giving me lip, can make me have a bad day. I'm just that type of girl. Care too much, I suppose. Weird isn't it? That gratitude can dissolve anger and sadness in a blink of an eye? Having high standards for activities and practices that I feel passionate about also causes problems. Because I forget that some people have lives. Their high standards are not my high standards. People don't treat others the way I've been taught how to teach them.
Which is why I will buy RedHen a birthday gift but not someone else.
Why I will pay for dinner with Moward and Nim, but not someone else.
Why I will call Jessiera and see her show, but not someone else.
Why I am friends with some and just aquaintances with others.
Because life is too short to use up on people who are imbeciles.
Especially inspiring is the 'Profound' list from Stephan Sagemeister's art book, "Things I Have Learned in my Life So Far". The best in my point of view is the first:
Complaining is silly. Either act or forget.
Thinking life will be better in the future is stupid. I have to live now.
Being not truthful works against me.
Helping other people helps me.
Organizing a charity group is surprisingly easy.
Everything I do always comes back to me.
Drugs feel great in the beginning and become a drag later on.
Over time I get used to everything and start taking it for granted.
Money does not make me happy.
Traveling alone is helpful for a new perspective on life.
Assuming is stifling.
Keeping a diary supports my personal development.
Trying to look good limits my life.
"My asian flame i miss you! When can we meet up?" - my adorable friend Bunnyrillo, who always knows how to cheer me up.
Yes.
Why?!? Why must you be so pretty? And perfect?! And the stupid stock market crashed...again today. Stupid. 
When we got to Moscone Center, the rain was threatening but not too awful, and here is the fat line for the Iron Man chat as evidence.
Quickie...
