Missing you.

Ever since visiting the doctor's office a couple of weeks ago - I became appalled at how much I had allowed my weight to slip over the winter. We often forget that the cupcake leads to the chocolate leads to the pot roast leads to the stuffing...and it all adds up. But we're still the same person inside. Which is why, I love this. So much...

What I miss from 35 Lbs Ago - Pt. 3

Maybe because I was painfully aware of my size, I cultivated an awareness of all of my life. A deep knowing. A way of sensing and trusting and believing that others won’t, or can’t, know as well. Maybe I feel deeper. More purely and intensely.

Maybe when I learned to, finally, love just being alone with myself, I fell harder in love than others ever will.

Maybe my present is more precious.

Maybe because my heart has ripped, and lost pieces, and still has visible stretch marks and sewn seams, my character will be ultimately more resilient.

The thing is, it’s easy to find the bad. I’m cynical. Pessimistic and realistic, too weathered to seem breezy. I can, and do, look at situations in pros and cons. But what I’ve come to know as true, in the last twenty-six years is that I am everything I’ve ever been.