I iz in your parteez, eatin' ur canapeez

Ain't it a laugh

Ain't it a treat?

Hob-nobbin' here

Among the elite?

-Thenardier & Madame T.

I have done, quite possibly, the most pretentious thing I've ever done in my entire life. And willingly. But, in very typical Penny fashion, more as a surrealist joke than anything else.

Last night, I attended the grand unveiling of a new art installation.

At the Louis Vuitton store in downtown San Francisco.

With the 'beautiful people'.

I know, right?! Best joke EVER.

The story goes is that Schwarzer and RunningMan are getting MARRIED! And now, thanks to the California Supreme Court, they can share assets and a fluffy, white akita together, legally. So in true HK brand conscious fashion-they purchased committment rings at LV. And landed on the 'high rollers' mailing list. And scored an 'exclusive' invite to the unveiling of their new, permenant art installation, "Hothouse (Blue)" by Teresita Fernandez. Which means; champagne cocktails, high end leather goods and the coked up socialitista. Where do I come in? Well, RunningMan is out of town, overseeing a W hotel in Scottsdale-and not one to be left out of an event, wanted to live vicariously through his hubby-to-be. Which left Schwarzer in need of a date. When it comes to looking pretty, dressing well and acting; I'm totally your girl. So I got to be the lucky 'beard' for the night.

Louis Vuitton's Union Square store celebrated the unveiling Wednesday of "Hothouse (Blue)," a work by artist Teresita Fernandez that was commissioned by the company for the store. The San Francisco store is one of six Louis Vuitton locations worldwide to house a permanent work of art. The 36-foot installation is made of translucent blue glass overlaid with about 16,000 small mirrors. Fernandez, a native of Miami, lives and works in Brooklyn, N.Y. - via SF Gate

"Artist Teresita Fernández's installation, which will turn the Louis Vuitton store on Union Square in San Francisco into an official "Maison" for the luxury company, will add a touch of blue to the environs. That's because Fernández's piece, called "Hothouse (Blue)," consists of a large piece from translucent blue glass overlaid with some 16,000 cabochon mirrors. The effect is dazzling, in the literal sense. "I wanted the piece to activate the space so that viewers entering the store could look up and catch shimmering, reflective glimpses of passersby and atmospheric conditions seen through the windows," Fernández said." - via FashionArtEdit.

We arrived just at the high peak of the party and were ushered inside by some young pretties wearing all black/headpieces, holding clipboards and looking official. The "art" installation was pretty tame. A nice swath of glass with blue splotchies and covered in tiny round concave mirrors-it's...subtle. It doesn't scream 'LV!' to me, which is strange in a store that threatens to cattlebrand you upon entering, but it doesn't really evoke any sort of emotion from me other than, "Ooh, shiny." And being that, to look closely at the piece, you have to go the second floor where all the jewelry is housed...sort of redundant.

Of course, the best thing to look at were actually the people. And for Schwarzer and myself, it was all one huge tremendous joke for two ex-Berkeley grads to mingle with the upwardly mobile. He took me to actually look at the ring they ordered and then it was off to the bar-Pellegrino for me and the pear martini for S. We took a couple of swings around the store; I tried on some sunglasses and they were cute, but I bet I can get cuter ones at F21. While peering at the wallets, we were actually photographed, "talking". ahhaa. How you like them apples? The highlight for me was seeing Yuan-Yuan Tan (company artist at the SF Ballet) and her date. She was wearing a white silk satin coat dress covered in black beaded floral embroidery and a black headband. Thank goodness black and white was de rigeur. I wore this:

with black round toed pumps, opaque flats (I can get away with this, it's San Francisco) and a huge white bead bracelet from H&M. My Banana Republic tan swing jacket with balloon sleeves on top. (for those of you that care...hee)

Other popular looks:

-High waisted satin pencil skirts over ruffly tuxedo blouses (in white or emerald green) with 40s pumps

-Taupe 50's sundress with full skirt, covered in cream colored beaded floral embroidery

-Purple 'Dynasty' cocktail dress

-Pointy toed or open toed pumps with mid height stiletto heels

-Men in a cornucopia of brightly striped oxford shirts

-Cornflower blue satin shirt dress with pink heels.

There was such a bevy of cute clothes that it was hard, mentally, to keep track. Women, although conservative, were definitely better dressed - a particular fave was a low cut v-neck lilac minidress with periwinkle beading on the neckline on a stunning African American woman. But for every attractive British looking hottie in the blazer and striped shirt and curly hair (Hugh Dancy), there was also the Jean-Paul Gaultier look-alike. White, beige and taupe were also popular as well as yellow, purple and green.

The most interesting thing about the night? How it really is just a glorified nightclub. And people are curious about you, simply because they don't know who you are. I noticed looks from everyone, generally friendly, because money talks. It was like all of a sudden belonging to a huge members-only club. We had been pre-screened and therefore instantly accepted, and there was a definite air of interest. Ah, the irony. Canapes-were tasty but TINY! A bbq chicken gougere, tiny portobello mushroom sandwich and chocolate caramels. Not enough for my huge stomach, we ended up at Anjou in Camton Place Alley. Filo wrapped halibut with red wine demi glace for Shwarzer and pan roasted quail for me. Clink the classes, pour the wine-we are Thenardier and Madame T.

But we're the ones who take it

We're the ones who make it in the end!

Watch the buggers dance

Watch 'em till they drop

Keep your wits about you

And you stand on top!