Material concerns

Status: still partially unemployed. Blah. Kissed a lot of ass over the last couple days. Told Jerrsika, "I can't believe that I am totally thinking of selling my eggs while my boss is comissioning some dude to make two wooden address numbers for his house for $1000." Sent out three resumes. Will have to do lots more this week. I still have to remember that I'm one of the lucky ones. I could have lost my job completely. I could have lost benefits. And I will now be competing for part time work with people who don't have jobs at all and have children to feed or mortgages to pay. Unlike the majority of Americans, I have 0 debt. Really, none at all. My parents are frugal saints and both my brother and I are well taken care of, with cash left over I might add. Though with the state of the market, it might be at $5.00 right now.

The other day, I got to thinking. I used to survive in college on $100 a month. It went up to $200 in junior year. Then in Senior year, I got a job and survived on my one day a week, law clerk job for the entire month. Roughly $320. This bought architecture supplies, food and tiny extras like a movie or a sweater. And I still felt well taken care of. To the point where I was offended if my office asked me to come in on a Saturday. Basically, I didn't go clothes shopping. I didn't purchase magazines, books and relied upon my parent's Costco trips for shampoo, toothpaste and the occasional anti-perspirant. My biggest purchase was a set of contacts. Then full time started and I became an honest to god CONSUMER. Full on. Full-priced items, double lattes, travel. And I invested in myself, put myself through a vocal/acting training program which has benefitted my artistic side as well as provided a type of mental health sanctuary. The only thing I didn't get was a designer purse or a car. Every time I would come home with a bag, my dad would stare witheringly and ask me if I had put any money away recently. And a lot of you will remember the book incident. But you know what? My dad takes two vacations a year, eats delicious, healthy food and can always pay for car repair, insurance and a nice CD/savings bond for my cousin's new baby.

So I'll be cutting back. Something that people around me have been doing for ages. I may have to get another job and stop buying unnecessary items. Ditto. Have go to on more creative dates. Yup. I'll have a real budget. Amen.

The crappiest thing is that I've had to pass on all my voice lessons til January of next year. Put a knife in my heart and I'm done. But at the same time, it's enough to find out what I'm made of. Let's see if 6+ years of lessons can keep this girl maintained.

Gates, who writes Hellafied, posted an excellent entry inspired by her friend DMB Meg. Quite honestly, modern economics was founded on the idea of checks and balances. When one element in a system goes out of whack, another steps in to balance it out. It works in anatomy, it works in nature, and the bigger one element is out of whack - the bigger reaction there is to put it back into balance. For too long, people in our country have been behaving as though they have a money tree in their back yard. Tax cuts for SUVs? Mega mansions that reek of faux finishes and insecurity. TV shows that promote high end and self-destructive lifestyles ie. the Hills or My Super Sweet Sixteen or the Real Housewives? Are we all so sick that we believe that material things make us better human beings? Instead of working on who we are? Or being with one another. I spent this Sunday in the park with my castmates. I brought a $.99 bag of Fritos and some on sale salsa. And had an awesome day in the sunshine, drinking donated champagne and munching on Bi-Rite cookies. Seriously, it was nothing.

You are who you are, not for your car, clothes, shoes or apartment. It's time for my parents to be right. Dear god, I just wrote that.