bittersweet.

Well...THAT didn't take very long.

A different kind of therapy.

RRAWWWWRRRR! Take that. Oh, NOT SAFE FOR WORK! Lots and lots of cussing!



*******************************************************************************
This next story might gross you guys out a little bit. For the last week, I have watched a caterpillar dying on my bathroom floor. Yeah, I know. I have nothing to defend myself, it was a total act of animal cruelty...or indifference. First of all, I have no idea how the caterpillar got into my bathroom, I figured it hitched a ride on my dad's pants or something. Or that he just wandered in there by himself. So I figured he would know how to get out. And every day, I thought I would just wake up and in the middle of the night, the caterpillar would have just figured out how to wiggle his way out of the grout and outside somehow. Not so, every single day, I've watched the caterpillar waste away. And then I just started waiting for him to...pass. But every time that darn squishy worm got wet from my shower, he seemed to reanimate. Initially, he just started becoming a little nuisance, something that I had to avoid while stepping out in my myopic state. Finally, this morning, I gave the little dude a casual funeral.

I dunno what made me not want to save this little thing's life. I think it's the depression seething out after setting in. But I hurt, I hurt at my core. I hurt so much in just this moment that my teeth ache. It didn't take very long for HER to place herself squarely back in his life. To reclaim her shallow grade victory, even to falsely claim the one, bittersweet entry that was mine. I let you go, because in my own way, I care about you. Releasing you gently, kindly, the most mature way I know how. Release you back into your self made iron cage of guilt, shame, manipulation, jealousy and obsession masquerading as love and friendship. She's made you believe that she will be the only one. I KNOW that it is a sorely won battle that will not triumph in the war. Sadly...that is what you choose now.

Laddie: "Wanna see me use a semicolon?"
Pen: "Oh yeah, ahah."
Laddie: "BAM!"