rest now, rest.

In my house, there is a piece of furniture that is lovingly referred to as, “the chair”. It’s notoriety stems from it’s immediate and almost ridiculous ability to make any person sitting in it fall asleep; usually for multiple hours. It’s nothing special really. It’s a rose colored, plush recliner that was actually part of a love seat set that belonged to my grandmother. But even though it was part of a set, the only one that’s really earned the name “the chair” is the one that currently resides in my dad’s office.

There was a period of roughly three months, where three to four nights a week, I would somehow end up in my dad’s office-ostensibly reading something, curled up in the chair under the stripey Mexican blanket, snoring away, drooling ever so lightly over the fringe. I would miss phone calls, tv shows and I definitely messed up my personal sleeping schedule by napping so close to my actual bedtime.

After a while, I realized that I couldn’t sit in the chair anymore. I wasn’t getting anything done in the evenings because I was spending so much time in the chair. It was hard to put aside something so comfortable. In our lives, does this parallel our efforts to get something done? Does the need for being comforted and comfortable get in the way of achieving what it is that we want to do in life? Being comfortable has always been a strong incentive for me to do or not do anything. I like to find a spot and stay there; as long as my base needs are met then I can be relatively happy. Hence my current living situation.

But I wonder, just wonder, where I could go if I just stopped needing to be comfortable. I guess, I just feel like I never get to rest. Ever get that feeling? Like you're constantly striving or constantly on the hamster wheel? When do we just get to be? I'd like a moment, just to get to "be" and in that moment...just have it all.