half-best...again.

love has made me a fool
set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak
except to cry out and wait for your answer
but you come around in your time
speaking of fabulous places
create an oasis
that dries up as soon as you're gone
you leave me here burning
in this desert without you - 'Stupid' Sarah McLachlan


it sucks sucks sucks sucks feeling like this. And I know how to make it better. I don't want to do it. Because it'll hurt like hell. That once again, because I'm STRONG, it means I have to give up. That the needy, grasping, insecure one WINS. Because I don't have time to waste on fighting. And I'll have to give up something that makes me feel good. But does it? Does it really? To never know the truth? To be fed half-truths? Why keep me at arm's length. I loved you as much as you would let me...